Stephen Colbert: Finding a cure for those sinful blue eyes

Stephen Colbert was in full O'Really mode last night as he talked to David France, who wrote that an article that made the rounds last week. France's article noted physical characteristics that are found more frequently in people who identify as gay, such as the comparative length of the index and ring finger.

Colbert was quick to turn the interview to the subject of himself. When France mentioned the difference in finger lengths, he was quick to push his hand in front of the camera and point out the comparative length of his index and ring fingers. When France corrected Colbert's assertion that this made him straight with a cautious note that it only indicated that Colbert is more likely to be heterosexual (ah, statisticians, will the ever stop reminding us of the difference between correlation and causation? Probably not until we stop mixing them up, I suppose) Colbert snapped at him, O'Reilly-style, "You won't make any judgments, I will."

France then brought up the other correlation discussed in the study: that gay men tend to have a counterclockwise "whirl" in their hair that's a rarity in the general population. That got Colbert to turn to the audience, "Everybody notice, look at the hair in front of you right now ... and clap if the person in front of you has a counterclockwise whirl."

Continuing to play the faux-conservative voice, Colbert refused to buy the current scientific consensus that being gay isn't a choice, eventually haranguing France, "But not all the science is in... is all the science in? Is all the science in? Yes or no? Is all the science that could be scienced in on this?"

The funniest exchanges of the interview came at the end:

Stephen Colbert: If you were right and there is a generic component... a predilection to homosexually, does that mean there could be a cure?

David Fance: It's an interesting Question and I understand why you ask it that because people have asked it and a lot of gay people are concerned that this sort of research, if it narrows in too closely on what might be, say, the actual trigger for sexual orientation that it might encourage people to try to come up with some sort of solution, if you will, to it. And the head of the Southern Baptist Theological Convention Seminary just last month mentioned his desire to see research in that area. So it's an ongoing and real concern, I think, that people are worried about., but will people be encouraged to examine the possibility of...

Stephen: Why does the head of the Southern Baptist Convention want to see progress in this area? Is he suffering from this?

David: He is concerned because he spends a lot of his time declaring homosexuality to be a sinful. He think if there's a chance that he may be able to intervene pre-birth then it'd be an easier struggle against this thing he's identified as problematic.

Stephen: You know what else is sinful? Left-handedness and blue eyes. Got to find some kind of cure for those things.

David: Might be the same gene.

You can watch the interview at ifilm.com.