"90210" star Dustin Milligan swears off "gay" jokes

Yeah, but he may have been using those words just incase there is anyone within the gay community that are of the opinion that they are still deciding and do class sexuality as a lifestyle. I get the sense that he wanted to cover all bases and not offend anyone, even with his subtle choices of words.

Are  Gay PCers going to demand that he come out, or further explain himself.  He is both showing his support for equal rights and apologizing for past transgressions.  To quibble is to seem rather whiney.  Let it stand for what it is a good deed by a decent guy.  There are many more people that need to be addressed.

Californians, get off your computers and fight like hell to bring down Proposition 8.  Or, if you won't, then at least email every voter you know and ask them to vote No.

 INSIDEGUY

I think a lot of young folks use the terms "deciding" and "questioning" interchangebly to refer to folks who aren't sure (for whatever reason) what their sexual orientation is.

If everyone popped out the womb already knowing exactly there wouldn't need to be a "coming out"

I don't think the term "deciding" is meant to indicate that sexual orientation is a "decision" per se. it's more like "deciding" who you want to be or how you want to live your life.

I think that "lifestyle" is also a valid term because while "being gay" isn't in and of itself a "lifestyle" there are lots of different ways to "be gay" and there are lifestyle choices related to that.

Even on this very site, folks are critical of other gay folks' "lifestyle" choices about how to express their sexuality all the time and with great vehemence.

Maybe he just meant "deciding to come out?"

Here's the thing... I *know* being gay wasn't a decision for me, and I think most people agree that it's something we knew/recognized from a time much earlier than we actually knew about sex.

However... what if it was?  What if it really WAS something we decided?  Would it then be okay for people to use the F word to describe us or to hate us? 

I'm not naive, I understand that the religious right uses the "decision" argument to undermine us, but I think we need to come back saying "it's not, but so what if it was?"

It's like when people say Obama's a Muslim.  He's not, but what if he was?  Why is that, inherently, a bad thing?

Why would CHOOSING to be gay be such a bad choice? 

Off my pulpit.

I think it's great that this young man chose to write that blog.  I also think he showed himself to be truly genuine with the minor word choice missteps.  It was very real, very human, and something I wish everyone would take a moment to think about.  I'm sure there will be a backlash for him so we shouldn't contribute to it.  I don't think we all knew the correct PC terms our whole lives (and some weren't even in use until recently) and maybe we wouldn't if we weren't gay.  He obviously had good intentions so let's cut him a break and say thanks, Dustin, for being an ally.  I'll be sure to start watching your program.  Well, maybe.  Maybe I'll just DVR it.  Ok?

Thanks Dustin.  Every straight person who comes to the decision you've made about hateful words and jokes represents another step toward true freedom and equality.

I didn't interpret "still deciding" in a negative way at all.  He's a young person talking to young people.  Teenagers often are in the process of deciding what they are.  I know I was at that age.  And I mean "deciding" in the sense of figuring out what it is, not in the sense of choosing what they want it to be.  And, of course, the whole "bi" alternative adds another layer of uncertainty.

I do like what Zanefan says.  It's true that we're not gay because we decided to be, but so what if we did?

For me it was kind of a decision. Not the decision to be gay, but the decision to accept it, to live the way that I am and not to hide or play a part that I am not.

So, yes, the decision might be not trying to fit in, but being yourself and giving a damn about other people's opinions. Strangely enough, I've made the experience that when you don't care people usually accept you and try to become friends with you.