Maxim still afraid of pretty men

It's safe to say I don't fall in the Maxim demographic. It's not just that I'm gay -- I'd also like to think that if I were attracted to women, my tastes would be more Tina Fey and Lauren Graham than Maxim's picks, Jessica Simpson and Hillary Duff.

I'm also not likely to share Maxim's idea of humor, like the hilarity of declaring American Idol competitor Sanjaya Malakar "Today's Girl" or wittily re-naming him "Sanjina".

Such behavior can be found in Maxim Online's Bachelorettes of the Year, a "deeper" (their word) response to People magazine's recent list of 2007's Hottest Bachelors. The list offered a couple picks that challenged my stereotypes of the magazine, until the second page where Orlando Bloom is named:

Why she made the list: She's a Hollywood big shot. Producers continue to cast her in epic roles (Kingdom of Heaven, Pirates of the Caribbean, Troy). At least Peter Jackson was smart enough to bring out her feminine side in The Return of the King.

Drawback: We think she has a penis.

Oh yeah, calling a good looking man a woman -- you stay classy, Maxim! Don't let anyone threaten your confidence in your masculinity.