Gay TV Scorecard: New Adventures of Old Christine vs Do Not Disturb vs Privileged

So last night I caught up with some of the backlog on my DVR which included three episodes of CW's Privileged, two episodes of Fox's Do Not Disturb and the season premiere of CBS' The New Adventures of Old Christine. Each either had a gay character or some sort of gay plot and I thought it would be fun to see how they compared and which actually did the best for gay visibility on a scale from one to ten. The winner might surprise you!

First up is Privileged which airs on the CW against ABC Family's Greek. The gay character on Privileged is Marco (Allan Louis) the cook, er, chef for the super rich Baker family around which the show's fish-out-of-water plot revolves. After watching the first three episodes, I now have a new name for Marco which is Exposition Marco since he really serves no other purpose than being a sounding board for the show's perky heroine, Megan Smith. Thus far their conversations have gone something like this:

Marco: Honey, you need to stop fretting so much and focus on yourself. Here, have a fabulous muffin I just baked.
Megan: Oh, Marco, blah blah it's all about me, blah blah, I don't have a date.
Marco: Honey, you are going to do great. Now tell me more about your fascinating love life.
Megan: Oh, Marco, Hunk #1 just doesn't blah blah blah and Hunk #2 blah blah blah
Marco: Honey, have a fabulous blueberry scone and tell me all about your dreams.
Megan: Oh, Marco. I want to write blah blah blah, but how do I not compromise blah blah blah, will the muffin make me fat?
Marco (to self): If there is a God up there, this self-absorbed white girl will suffer a stroke NOW!(pause, nothing happens) This is why I am an atheist.

What dress should I wear to the ball? I bet Marco will know!

And then Marco disappears until the writers need to communicate something else about Megan's storyline that would be awkward if she just blurted it out in an empty room. In other words, Marco thus far is your classic "barely there" gay character that only exists to serve the straight folks. Plus he's also a cliche constantly saying "honey", crossing his legs just so, and being a natty dresser when not in the kitchen. And since Marco is also black, he also provides the show's "racial" diversity.

We have been told Marco has a boyfriend and at this summer's TCA, Louis told me we would even meet him, but I'm starting to suspect his scenes will involve him and Marco listening to Megan blather on.

Yes, I know this show isn't about Marco, but he is one of the characters GLAAD mentions in their report on the doubling of gay characters on TV. I'm just saying...

So on a scale of one to ten, Privileged thus far scores a three for Marco.

Next up is Do Not Disturb, a show that is so dreadful, the producers have actually apologized to critics and asked for a second chance. Fat chance of that.

The gay character here is Larry played by the wonderful Jesse Tyler Ferguson. When looking at gay characters on television, I always try to judge them by how the show treats them compared to the rest of the characters. On The Sopranos, pretty much everyone was an amoral bastard so it only made sense that Gay Vito would be as well.

Anorexic! Gay! Zaftig! Cliche!

On Do Not Disturb, pretty much everyone is a horrible cliche — sassy black women, spunky fat girl, anorexic, bitchy hot chick — and while  Larry is every bit as annoying and bitchy as the others, he actually isn't a stereotype. Okay, he is bitchy, but he's also in a long term relationship and comes across more as a cranky married guy which is definitely refreshing. So total bonus points for that!

But the show is so awful — I mean dreadful — that I have to take away all those bonus points. Yes, Larry is in every episode and isn't just there so the other characters can blather on about themselves, but that sweet gay caramel center is surrounded by stinking rotting roadkill so it isn't exactly worth watching the show just to see Larry not be a cliche.

Sadly, on a scale of one to ten Do Not Disturb scores a zero for Larry. 

Finally, we finish up with The New Adventures of Old Christine which doesn't actually feature any gay characters (except one episode last year when we found out Richard's brother is gay), but started off the new season with a gay wedding between Christine (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss) and Barb (Wanda Sykes). Said wedding occurs because Barb isn't a citizen and will be deported unless she finds a way to stay.

I'd rather see Matthew kiss Richard, but it's still sweet...

Normally, I get annoyed when "gay" plots revolve around straight folks having to get married to each other (see the dreadful I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), especially on networks without any regularly occurring gay characters such as CBS, but not only do I find Christine very funny (and Louis-Dreyfuss hilarious), but the episode also delivered a pretty great pro-gay message. First we saw Christine explain to her young son that sometimes men love women, and sometimes women love men, but sometimes men love men and get married.

There really wasn't much reason for Christine's kid to know what was going on and it seemed like the writers were sending a very pointed message that talking with kids about gay issues is no big deal. The rest of the episode was filled with similar lines about how great it is gay folks can get married in California, love is love and so forth. And given that this is supposed to be an ongoing storyline, I can totally see this playing out in some interesting ways including dealing with California's upcoming vote on Proposition 8 which will take away the right of us 'mos to get married in California.

With this earring, I thee wed....

So even though New Christine has no actual gay characters it still scores a 6 giving it an easy victory over Privileged and Do Not Disturb! 

Agree? Disagree? Let me know below. And check back next week for another Gay TV Scorecard match-up!