Confusion Over Whether Chris Colfer is Gay or Not

Chris is human. If he wants to change his mind or change is tune, that's his prerogative. His personal life is none of our business, just like my personal life is no one else's business, YOUR personal life is...you get it. I'm sick of everyone needing a "role model" to guide them in how to live his/her life. If anyone actually lived how these role models in sports, movies, TV, really live, we'd all be fuxxked! Worry about yourself and get on with it.

I don't think he's gone "back into the closet" - my impression is that he wants to have some amount of privacy despite being on the show and doesn't want all the press about him to focus on his being gay, either. Maybe he feels like when it comes to talking about his sexuality, he's been there and done that and now he'd rather talk about something else.

Other people have made good points about how sometimes people his age haven't quite figured out their sexual orientation. Whatever the exact situation is here, I'm giving the guy a break.

Sorry. but i just don't care if an actor is gay or not. If he is gay, and want to tell it, fantastic, but if he don't want to publicly come out, it's not a problem to me. What i can't stand is the people who plays with ambiguity, and say something on an interview and completly the opposite on the next.

The job of an actor is to act, not to be a role model. And keeping private things to yourself is important, not only to their mental safe, and it's ridiculous to think that being out doesn't affect to your career.

People often metion Neil Patrick Harris as example, but Neil didn't come out, he was outed, and he deal pretty well with the situation, making all the story plays in his favour. But there are a lot of differences between Neil and other examples, because Neil has a long career on his back, and he has a reputation on theatre, it was pretty obvious he won't be jobless if he come out, that's not the case of a lot of actors.

And even when the actor wants (or just don't care) to come out, sometimes the studio pressure them to not doing. I remember (i think it was Nelson Branco the one who mentioned it, but i'm not sure) about a gay soap actor who is openly gay to his cast mates, and even to some fans, he wanted to come out but the studio told him that he better stay in the closet.

As i say, what i want for an actor is a good interpretation, if they are gay and out, perfect, but i don't care if they are in the closet as they just don't lie. And sorry, but i think americans are a bit obssesed with sexuality

then why should any of us need to know that The Advocate said he was gay but USA Today is saying he isn't?  It's none of our business after all, right?

This blog was basically questioning his sexuality while at the same time saying they wouldn't ask him - so what's the point?

Isn't it putting pressure on him by even having this blog written about him and questioning is he gay or isn't he?

Ya know, cut the (and I cannot put more emphasis on this) kid some slack.

Coming out was not made any easier for me with the knowledge that "Hey, so-and-so famous guy is gay so my life will now be officially better in all ways than it was before." It was more about me learning not to give a damn what someone else's problem with gays was. In one's private life it's one thing to have to deal with whatever reactions family and friends throw at you. It's an entirely different kettle of fish when you move out into the public where you have to worry about coworkers and employers and random strangers who feel they have the moral imperative to instruct others on how to live their lives and punish them for not living up to their standards of right behavior.

When exactly did we become a society where every last detail of everyone's life was fodder for gossip? Where everyone in the world feels they have the right to decide how everyone else should live?

Frankly, if you're not one of the many porn star quality heavy-hung sex pigs I share my bed with, my sex life and how I live it ain't your goddamn business. And yours is none of mine.

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself.
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
Walt Whitman Song of Myself

"When exactly did we become a society where every last detail of everyone's life was fodder for gossip? "

 

When Bing Crosby brought jazz up the river from New Orleans.

"Fodder for gossip" is the very essence of show business.

"The worst thing you can do after coming out of the closet is forgetting how awful it was to be in there."

He's not denying he's gay, he's just decided not talk about his dating life and whatnot anymore.  Based on the quote about his hometown, can you imagine if people are calling his parents and sneering at them or even threatening them?  (Shades of last night's "Glee.") 

Let the kid alone.  He'll elaborate more when he's ready.  It's not our job to be piling our issues and preferences on him.

He never said anything about "dating."

"Let the kid alone." brings to mind nothing so much as Hugh Marlowe and Gary Merrill calling Anne Baxter a "kid" in All About Eve.

And speaking of which, Mr. "Mystery" -- YOU'RE TOO SHORT FOR THAT GESTURE!

 

Sorry, don't mean to be rude, but who CARES?  He plays a cute role on the show, but he's quite unappealing.  Now...if there were speculation over whether Mark Salling was gay, THAT would be another story!

Rather than savaging each other or the actor, maybe it would be better to cast attention on the conditions that have caused this "walk back" -- and that's what it is, not a running back into the closet or whatever, but a change in his language, a change in "public" language. That almost always assumes that someone is putting pressure on someone. Is it the network? His handlers? His publicist? Ryan Murphy? We obviously won't know until his book comes out (and I'm not being flip about that -- everyone in the public eye has a book out eventually!) and he details this kerfuffle. But until then I think we should address the powers that be that perpetuate the fear of being out and also the double standard that causes a gay actor to be "out" to one set of viewers (gay fans via The Advocate) and "mysterious" to another set (straight fans, Middle America via USA Today). Funny but the teen fans of "Glee" have no doubt at all about Colfer's sexuality and never have -- they are all over the internet discussing it and also reading his Twitter postings, which have thousands of subscribers, making his "privacy" another "construction" of his publicity, as are all the Tweats of celebrities. Just to add that I had to laugh at the idea that "we" don't know anything about Ellen's "private life" when she came out on her tv series AND the cover of People Magazine, as well as having the most publicized gay breakup in history with Anne Heche, also on the cover of People and every tabloid in the universe, and then had her wedding photos, again, on the cover of People! If that's not "living your life in public" then I don't know what is! As long as "Glee" is generating publicity, there will questions. If the show wasn't a cash cow for the network then no one would care. Like the ripple of attention to Matt Bomer, it would be of interest to the small number of people who watch the show on cable and that would be that. But "Glee" is making someone a lot of money and that/those someones don't want anyone to rock the boat!

So what? He doesn't want to comment on his private life, or changed his mind not to to comment on his private life. It's his right, and people should respect that.

It's the attitude of he who has no respect for the rest of us. The Out and Proud always seem to end up the villians in here. The closet clases -- and re Cofler the revolving-closet-door cases get all the sympathy.

 

And the tea that goes with it.

Rereading the article prompted a thought. If the hypothesis that's proposed there is actually to be taken seriously (that is, that Colfer's coming out in the Advocate was actually a misunderstanding and he did not, in fact, come out), then shouldn't Colfer's title as Gay of The Week from then be retroactively revoked and the crown for that week awarded to the runner-up?  

(And no, I'm not being serious.  Just funnin' around & askin'.)

 

I'm not even getting involved, where would I start?  But, now we are going to get another lecture in this week's BGWE!!  :-)  I kid.

Speaking of though, I was checking out AfterEllen the other day and the BLWE was basically just a reposting of the week's blogs.  Not to knock it, but I like the BGWE format much better!

 

"Open up your mind and then open up your heart. And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart." - Blessid Union of Souls

I don't know, this is all really hard..

I mean, it's his private life, and he's young and all that. But at the same time, he's an ACTOR, talking about ones private life comes with the territory!

Also, I don't understand why he won't talk about the fact, I mean, he already more or less came out in The Advocate interview, so why he's paddling the other direction now is beyond me. Why did he even come out in the first place? Why couldn't he say "no comment" when he talked to The Advocate? Either go all the way or don't at all.

I know it's none of my business, he has to do as he wants, but I can't help but feeling a little bit disappointed. We had an openly gay young guy at the start of his career. It would be great if he could be out and proud. Or even just say "I'm gay, but my private life is my business, and I don't wanna talk about that". He could even be a role model for other young gay teens out there. Instead he is just being ambigeous, and well, I just think it's stupid and unecessary.

 

Harvey Milk: You gotta give 'em hope.

The heterosexual kind and the homosexual kind!! Sadly the difference between these two kind of bigots is their sexual orientation!!

I wish the in-fighting would cease. While I don't completely agree with all of Mr. Ehrenstein's points, I certainly understand where he's coming from. I don't see him as being hateful, intolerant, or a bigot. I see him as tired that this issue is still being discussed. I see him extremely frustrated that things haven't changed. I remember when outing was a hot topic in the early nineties, and it is dispiriting that little progress has been made.

I don't know what Colfer's motives were nor do I care, but I thought it was interesting timing that his character had a speech about being himself while the whole is he or isn't he question was debated.

MY problem with the outing situation is that each case is different. There is no one size fits all outing or coming out.

 

I don't think Chris Colfer is denying his being gay or has strayed back into the closet as nothing he has said indicates this. I do think that he is very young and thrust into a life in the spotlight that must be pretty overwhelming and if he wants his privacy and not have people put him under a microscope I can certainly understand that.

Be that as it may, in general I'm very happy when gay men decide to live their lives openly and proudly because visibility (I love that credo) really, really matters. There are so many people I know who, while not being as homophobic as your religious right in the USA, were jumpy and weirded out by the idea of gay men. Yet whenever they're confronted with actual gay people they do change their attitudes. Harvey Milk was so undeniably right in that. I know I can't begin to understand what it's like to come out even under the most positive circumstances, but it always makes me happy when a gay man does take the plunge. Every year on my birthday, which is on Coming out day, I'm thinking about the people who do and admire them. 

after reading all the comments, i think i get both sides

i honestly get that people are sick and tired of the 'people are still closeted' issue. 

i also get wanting to give this man room and time...and privacy

but....i'm not him. none of us are. he's not ellen. he's not NPH or adam lambert. he is Chris Colfer.

fine. let's say he did go back in the closet. ok? fine. is he hurting me? no. he's not hurting anyone, but possibly himself. it's not MY life. not MY choice. not MY career. it's HIS life. HIS choice to be out or not, or whatever.

i love the idea of having proud, out people. sadly, that is NOT reality. our society has not fully gotten there.

whether you're a famous movie star or somebody in a small town, there are always reasons to be either be in...or out. it sucks to have to hide. i know. i think a lot of us know that experience. a lot of us also know the joy of being able to be who we are.

but as others have mentioned, everyone has a different journey. we may not agree with it. we may not like it. we may call this person a liar, a traitor, ashamed.

ok. call chris every name you can think of. but really....i say it all the freaking time...people need to live for themselves before they can live their life for someone else or in this case, a lot of damn people (fans and whatnot)

if chris is out, great. wonderful. if he decided "oh crap, i dont want to be out" then ok. his freaking choice. i may not like it, but seriously....he is not hurting me one. damn. bit.

at the end of everyday, if we all choose to be someone else....we're only hurting OURSELVES.

 

 

I just wanted to say I have met a woman in my women's therapy group who is 82-years-old and is lesbian.  She lost her partner of over 50 years to cancer 6 years ago.  The first group session she told us that there were things about her that we would NEVER know.  After about 10 weeks she ended up coming out to me first and then to the rest of the group.  One of them asked her how did her experience of coming out to us compare to coming out to others.  She told us we were the first ones she had ever come out to!  She is such a fantastic person.  I had already told her how much I admired her, because at a time when women really didnt have careers she did.  She was one of the women who paved the way for my generation to be whatever we wanted to be.  She and her partner both worked in the publishing industry.  I just think it is sad that she has lived her whole life hiding who she really is.  She told me even her closest friends now do not know that she is lesbian.  Our group is such a motley group, we have 2 straight women, 1 bisexual woman, and 2 lesbians in the group ranging in age from 49 to 82.  I'm hoping for the day when it won't have to be such a big deal to "come out" and everyone can just be accepted for who they are.  What a concept huh? 

The Chris Colfer story has made it to page 2 of the National Enquirer (Nov. 23). Here's an excerpt: ''Glee'' star Chris Colfer's slip of the lip during a recent interview [with the Advocate] sent show execs into a panic. ... And while the disclosure - to the Advocate, a gay magazine - was no big deal to Chris, who was raised in Clovis, Calif., it was HUGE for studio execs. ''FOX wasn't pleased,'' an insider told The Enquirer. ''They're very protective of their young stars. And while the studio is pro-gay, they didn't want Chris stamped with a 'gay actor' label so early in his career. They want him to be known simply as an 'actor.''' The insider maintained: ''The gay thing is not an issue for Chris at all. He hopes his character is an inspiration for gay kids everywhere. But both he & the studio want his personal life to stay under wraps.'' Spin control or truth?

Ryan Murphy is one of the most successful TV producers currently working and he is out and proud.  He has a special bond with Chris Golfer (not sexual) and seems to be mentoring his young star.  As the creator of GLEE he has a lot to say about the promotion and marketing of his newest hit.  He well knows what the ADVOCATE is and has himself been profiled in it.  There is no question he knew what Chris was likely to say and did not have a problem with his coming out as a gay man.  There is no shortage of media trainers and publicists who knew how exactly how Mr. Golfer's answers would be interpreted. I am sure if they wanted to the Fox executives could have had the comment struck from the article.  Mr. Golfer has in fact. stepped up to the plate as a man and taken responsibilty for how he is perceived. The USA Today article does not having him denying his sexuality.  It is actually is rather awkwardly written.  On one hand they state that Golfer doesn't address his sexuality and then quotes him as saying he keeps it a mystery...to be private about it.  The later part is a rather stock answer.  So, did he address his sexuality or not?  Something seems askew in the USA Today quote. If he didn't address the issue, how can the reporter quote him on it?  

If we want assimilation and acceptance we need celebrate the small successes and not denigrate them for not being enough.  The grand gesture has a short shelflife.  At the end of the day his sexuality is only one aspect of who he is as a man.  Being famous at any age is a difficult life, everyone wants a piece of you. It can be confusing, lonely and downright scary.  Give the guy some space to enjoy his new found acclaim. We don't need to see this talented youngman become the next tragic Hollywood post-teen overdose.

 

 

That's all I am saying... 

INSIDEGUY