Amazon.com launches "gay" Kindle to make up for "glitch"

Seattle, WA In the wake of Amazon.com's recent disastrous "glitch" which resulted in thousands of gay and lesbian books and authors being stripped of their sales rankings and removed from search results, the online retailer has announced they're launching new versions of the Kindle for LGBT customers, "to show our gay and lesbian customers we truly have our ham-handed fist on the pulse of gay America," said Amazon.com spokesperson Drew Herdener.

The Gay Kindle will debut later this year, and AfterElton.com was able to secure a sneak peak at the product:

There will be some new enhancements to this version, as well, including the insertion of "Hey, Girlfriend!" at the beginning of all Text to Voice narrations. And to further demonstrate the company is in touch with their gay customers, the gay Kindle will also filter out all books about sports, hunting and anything mechanical because Amazon "understands our gay male customers aren't interested in that stuff."

Amazon.com will also be debuting a limited collection of fashionable Kindle covers designed specifically for the Gay Kindle.

The Mankini Cover

The Chaps Cover

The Leather-Bound Brokeback Mountain Cover

See the Lesbian Kindle here.

Asked if Amazon.com is planning to ever actually apologize to their gay and lesbian customers for the "glitch," Herdener said brightly, "no, but we did donate to the Yes on Prop. 8 campaign!"

EDITOR'S UPDATE: After we published this piece, Herdener contacted us to clarify that the company actually intended to donate to the No on Prop 8. campaign, but there was "a glitch in our information flow that misdirected our funds to the opposing side." No further explanation or apology is expected.

Note: This is one of a series of satirical blog posts about entertainment.