Why Heath's death is like a body blow

It's funny, but I've been so busy writing our article about Heath's death that I haven't really had time to ponder what I'm feeling about it. Yet now that I do, I find this is one of those celebrity deaths that really does feel like a body blow. Why exactly? It's not like I ever met Heath, much less knew him. And he's hardly the first celebrity to die far too young (and as JBE said in an early thread, let's hope this was an accident and not a suicide).

But as a gay man who was so deeply moved by Heath's performance as Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain, his tragic death somehow resonates much more deeply because of that same performance. Seeing Ennis' pain at the end of Brokeback as he clutched Jack's bloodied shirt, regretting the missed life the two men could've shared, regretting his own wasted life and Jack's senseless death, somehow makes Heath's death and his now own wasted life so much more visceral than it should be.

It's ridiculous, but it meant so much to me that Heath and Jake Gyllenhaal were willing to take on the roles of Ennis and Jack when so many other actors ran shrieking from them. I'm a grown man and I don't need the validation of others for my sense of worth. But it was still so meaningful to see Brokeback brought to life and become such a hit despite the anti-gay hatred that is still far too prevalent. And part of the reason it was such a hit was because of Heath's revelatory performance.

As if watching Brokeback Mountain weren't already painful enough, that final scene is now going to be even that much gut-wrenching. We're going to miss you, Heath.

BTW, here is a pictorial tribute to Heath I created.