Your Monday Morning "Everything Bagel!"

Enjoy this tasty treat designed help to stall the inevitable soul crushingness that is known as the start of the work week. Savor it because as soon as you're done, it begins...

Monday can't start if I don't get out of bed! But it would be nice to have an actual apartment.

• Reba McEntire loves her gay fans and says she doesn't judge. I'm thinking she mean she doesn't judge idiotic homophobes as opposed to gay people. 

• God passed up another chance to smite Massachusetts for allowing gay marriage by not hitting it with Hurricane Bill. Perhaps he/she/it decided to send Bill to punish Canada instead. Minneapolis wasn't so fortunate as last week God destroyed the city with a tornado since Lutheran clergy there were voting whether or not to allow gay clergy to serve in their ministries. Okay, not so much "destroyed" as bent a church steeple which wingnut Hermann Von Traugott spun into a message from a wrathful Lord.  Von Traugott's handlers then got his straitjacket back on him and gave him his meds. 

• Mr. Gay Spain won the Mr. Gay Europe title and was forced to wear a silly hat.

You have to be hot to pull off this look!

• You know what happened a year ago this past weekend? Matthew Mitcham snagged a gold medal at the Beijing Olympics. 

• Not sure how I missed this story, but last month Soldier magazine put James Wharton, an out soldier, on the cover of their July issue. In entirely unrelated news, the United Kingdom was invaded and conquered by Iceland in a nearly bloodless invasion. And that's why gays shouldn't be allowed in the military! 

• In Irish wingnut news, Cardinal Sean Daly is mighty peeved Ireland is considering treating gay people like human beings. The shame, the shame! He then burned all his Reba McEntire albums moments before she was sucked up by a tornado.

• Here's Dolly Parton singing "Change It" from the soon to close musical 9 to 5. If you don't love Dolly Parton, I simply don't know what to say. Maybe looking into getting a heart transplant?

• Speaking of music videos, a straight guy turned Grizzly Bear's song about two gay lovers into this way cool video in his spare time just because he was so moved by it.

• Here is your sports pic of the week!

US LaShawn Merritt (R) and Virgin Islands' Tabarie Henry celebrate after the men's 400m final race of the 2009 IAAF Athletics World Championships on August 21, 2009 in Berlin