TCA update: Ted Haggard and his wife still don't get it, but their daughter does

Ted, Gayle, Christy, and Marcus Haggard (Getty Images/Frederick M. Brown)

Speaking at the Television Critics Association January Tour in Los Angeles last Friday, Ted Haggard wanted to set the record straight about a few things. For instance, his sexuality can't be put in a box. No matter how many times reporters asked, Haggard refused to say if he was gay, straight or something in between though he did say, "I’m in a place where Gayle and I — I’ll speak for me — where I am thoroughly and completely satisfied with my relationship with my wife." He also feels really bad about getting Mike Jones involved in a "gay" relationship. And Haggard now "knows more about hatred than I’ve ever dreamed."

Haggard's wife wants you to know something about her husband as well — he was never, ever a hateful preacher. Said Gayle during the panel promoting HBO's The Trials of Ted Haggard (airing January 29th):

I think that Ted was characterized as being a hateful preacher, and I’ve heard just about every message he’s ever preached. I never heard Ted be a hateful person toward any group. He was very kind-hearted and understanding. For those who knew him well, they have been shocked at how he’s been characterized.

Maybe Ted wasn't hateful, but he certainly was bigoted. Read more after the jump.

Ted Haggard might never have been a Jerry Falwell blaming 9/11 on the gay community or a John Hagee claiming God wiped out New Orleans for tolerating us gays, but make no mistake, Haggard preached against homosexuality. He told his flock the Bible condemned homosexual activity and preached and counseled that gay people could and should change. He did and still does oppose same-sex marriage. Perhaps Haggard isn't a hateful man, but his words and actions as the leader of such an influential church did real and lasting damage to the LGBT community even if Ted and Gayle don't seem to get that. 

Ted Haggard being filmed for an earlier doc, Friends of God

However, in a classic example of the younger generation "getting" this issue where their elders don't, Haggard's daughter Christy caught my attention during the panel when she piped up at one point and said:

And one more thing. We were more judgmental than we are now, and people were hurt by us. And I know that a lot of people deserve a very sincere apology from our family because we are all the way we are for a reason. And the way I interpret scripture is so different from how other people do. So people do have the right — of course, we all do — to make their own decisions and be the people who they see themselves as being without any fear from how other people perceive them. That’s really important.

I was so struck by Ms. Haggard's words that I tracked her down after the panel to follow up. Asked how she reads scripture where it concerns gay people, Ms. Haggard said:

It tells me that everyone deserves love and that everyone deserves respect and that God is a huge advocate of free choice, of free will. He always wanted humankind to do what they wanted. He always gave us choice, from the beginning, from the Garden of Eden; he wanted us to choose what was right for us, what was wrong. And, you know, we deal with the consequences of whatever we choose, regardless. That’s how life works. And so, you know, each man and woman for themselves will see.

Asked whether gay people deserve all civil rights including marriage, Ms. Haggard said:

I believe every human being should live and work under the exact same rights. As a human being. Everyone should have the freedom to live the lives they believe are right.

Now that's a religious point of view I can get along with. 

The Trials of Ted Haggard was directed by filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi, whose documentary Friends of God also featured Haggard, pre-scandal.