"American Gladiators": The Sean Hetherington recaplet

Well, he gets an "A" for effort.

That's about the most positive thing I can say about last night's episode of American Gladiators, which featured the first openly gay contestant in the history of the show, Sean Hetherington. In our interview with him, Sean made this lofty statement: "I think it’s going to be kind of a masterpiece in terms of breaking stereotypes for gays and lesbians in athletics."

Yeah ... not so much, Sean. There were moments of the show that were down-right cringeworthy, and unfortunately, Sean was responsible for some of them.

First of all, there was no mention made of the fact that Sean is gay, and if you didn't know beforehand, some of the comments he made would seem a bit ... questionable (if not offensive). Like when he referred to some of the male gladiators as "ladies", and when he said of the gladiator Toa (who was wearing tribal garb), "he's 250 pounds, plus the dress". Not cool, Sean.

The show didn't exactly help him out, though, by pairing him with a competitor twice his size. But Sean talked about James Ruggiero in glowing terms in our interview, so you can't fault James for being, well, a Gladiator-killing machine!

As I said, if you didn't know beforehand that Sean was gay, you certainly didn't get any help from the show, who showed James's wife and kids with the caption "James' Family", and then showed Sean's boyfriend with the caption "Sean's Friends". Not cool, show.

After the break, see how Sean did. (It ain't pretty.)

The first event is Power Ball (which I play frequently, only it involves a dollar and picking some lucky numbers), and James and Sean keep it close, meaning both guys are slammed to the floor more often than they can get the Nerf ball in the trash cans. Total score - James 2, Sean 1.

Next up is Joust, (which, disappointingly, didn't involve flying around on winged ostriches collecting eggs), and Sean lasts about ten seconds before Toa knocks the giant Q-tip out of his hands and sends him into the pool. James gives it a try, and within five seconds, Toa is the one going for a swim. Total score - James 12, Sean 1.

Next we have Hang Tough, and Wolf needs about five seconds to tear Sean from the hanging rings (by slamming his crotch into his face, no less) and send him plummeting. James gives it a try, and soon it's Wolf who's going for a swim. Total score - James 22, Sean 1.

Next are three new games that they didn't have back in the early 90's when the show first started. They only show brief snippets of each competition, and I have to say I don't much care for Rocket Ball, Earthquake, and Snapback. They make me long for the days of gladiator games like Gauntlet, when I would sit back and scream, "Valkyrie, you're about to die!" (And that, along with the Joust reference, concludes our look at old school arcade games.) But I digress ... the score after these three games - James 41, Sean 5.

Which brings us to the final game, The Eliminator. Even though he's behind by 36 points (meaning James will get an 18 second headstart), Sean is convinced he can still make a go of it, and that it will be "the biggest comeback since Mariah Carey!".

The Eliminator gets underway, and Sean can't overcome the insurmountable lead that James has, but he gives it all he's got. When he's interviewed at the end of the game, Sean starts crying, and my first thought is, "There's no crying in American Gladiators!" But then I remember the interview we did, and how it was his dream to appear on this show, and all the bullying he put up with to get to this moment, and I am glad for him.

But "a masterpiece in breaking stereotypes"? Not really.