Attention "Hollyoaks" fans! We've got spoilers, and you won't believe the insanity!

Oh, for the love of Kieron!

The spoilers are out for John Paul's big return on Hollyoaks, and it looks just as wonderfully over-the-top as all of us were hoping.

I'd put it right up there with Dynasty's "Moldavian Massacre" and Marcia Cross blowing up Melrose Place. (Although it doesn't come close to Fallon's alien abduction on The Colbys or Marlena's satanic possession on Days of our Lives. But it does top Delia's kidnapping by a horny gorilla on Ryan's Hope and the unearthing of the ancient magical city Eterna on One Life To Live.)

On the other hand, it's not as memorable as the Casadines and their evil weather machine on General Hospital, or Bobby in the shower on Dallas, but it's certainly not as far-fetched as the current As The World Turns story about two gay guys who aren't allowed to have sex. That one's just nutty.

But I digress ... the Hollyoaks story involves the unraveling of Niall, and if you want to see how awesome TPTB have made this, then join me after the break for the spoilers and a ton of pics. Special thanks to dkellergrl2001 for the info!

*Btw, if you comment, PLEASE don't include spoilers in your comment header!

Okay, here we go. According to these spoilers:

As Niall's life begins to spiral out of control he decides to get the ultimate revenge on the family. After kidnapping the McQueen sisters one by one he takes them to St Eustace Church, the same church that Myra left him as a baby. He then leaves baby Max on Myra's doorstep with a note just like the one she left with him, ringing alarms bells in Myra.

Racing to the abandoned church, Myra is shocked to discover that Niall is her son, and all of her daughters are tied up and gagged! Niall then reveals that he has kidnapped John Paul too! Niall reveals that he's rigged the place with explosives and tells Myra he's going to blow everyone to smithereens.

When she protests, he gives her the option of saving some of her children. He'll ask her 6 questions - one for every child. For everyone she gets wrong, he'll kill someone. He asks her questions that she would never know the answer to - questions about his childhood. When she starts to answer wrongly, things begin to look extremely bleak for her and her beloved children. Completely by chance she gets two questions right and begins to decide which of her children she should save and which should die!

What will Myra decide? And who will live, and who will die? And where is Craig in all of this? While we impatiently wait to find out, enjoy these pics, and discuss!