 by snicks
Video Blogs
TV Shows:
Find Articles On:
Who's onlineThere are currently 54 members and 1689 guests online.
|
Eight gay films that deserve remakes
For a few years now, Hollywood has been in a remake frenzy, insisting on "re-imagining" films they have no business touching. But the question is, why remake good films? Why not remake films that were flawed, or films that were little seen, but had potential? This post is about gay-themed films that are begging to be remade, either because they were smacked with Hollywood's "de-gaying" stick, or because they're languishing in obscurity, and bigger budgets and a few tweaks might make them hits. Or simply, the originals are dated, and it's time for a fresh coat of paint.
Surge of Power An obvious labor of love from writer/actor Vincent J. Roth, 2004's Surge of Power is the pinnacle of gay superhero movies. I know what you're thinking, "but isn't every superhero movie gay?". True, but this one was intentionally gay. I rented it thinking it was another volume in my favorite soft core superhero/lycra fetish series Hard Heroes, and you can imagine my shock when Lt. Uhura appeared on screen! Aside from the cameos (which include Allison "Nellie Olsen" Arngrim, Erin "Tabitha Stevens" Murphy, and my childhood hero Marty Krofft), the film does have some other nice touches, like the hero's powers being rendered useless when dance music is played. However, the ultra low budget is impossible to get past (the special effects are sub-Power Rangers ... actually, they're sub-VR Troopers), and frankly, the whole production reminded me of the unintentionally hilarious Wille Aames guilty pleasure Bibleman. The solution: With a bigger budget and a tighter screenplay, Surge of Power could be a winner.
Martian Child When gay writer David Gerrold released the semi-autobiographical Martian Child, it told the story of a gay single parent raising a troubled child. When the movie version came out last year, it had become drippy schmaltz about a straight man raising a troubled child. There was endless speculation as to why the character's sexuality was changed. Gerrold originally took responsibility, then claimed it was the producer's fault. The writers claimed their screenplay was based on an earlier story, where the character's sexuality was never mentioned (so they must have just assumed he was straight). The movie came out, and sank like a rock (and only scored a measly 30% at Rotten Tomatoes.) With all the worry by TPTB that making it about a gay father would hurt its chances, it's probably the only thing that could have given it enough buzz to save it. The solution: remake it as it was intended to be made, with perhaps Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds as the gay, single, shirtless dad (actually, I threw in the shirtless part ... creative license.) See more potential remakes after the break.
Gypsy 83
I know what you're thinking, but I didn't include this because it's about Todd Stephens (who would later direct the hit Another Gay Movie and its apparently inferior sequel) helmed this 2001 coming-of-age road picture, and it has many things to recommend it. First is the presence of the fabulous Sara Rue, who takes a cross-country trip with her gay goth best friend for the legendary Night of a Thousand Stevies in New York City. She's Stevie's biggest fan, but we never really believe it, because Stevie didn't allow any of her music to be used in the movie. There is one lesser Stevie hit, "Talk to Me", which is used repeatedly, but that's only because she didn't own the rights to it. It's just bizarre to watch a movie about an obsession with Stevie Nicks, and have to tiptoe around the fact that we don't get to hear her music. The solution: Find another fabulous, chubby teen actress and somehow get Stevie to let her music be used. And show more of the Night of a Thousand Stevies!
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Yes, I know, it's a classic, and as a rule shouldn't be touched. However, I think it's time we revisit Tennessee Williams' story about a gothic southern family, and the tortured character of Brick. As recently proven with its success on Broadway, there's still a lot of life left in this drama about a man mourning his "best friend". The solution: Find a director capable of nuance and histrionics (like Ang Lee), and an actor capable of subtlety and shirtlessness. Oh, and tell the truth about Brick.
Curse of the Queerwolf 1988's Curse of the Queerwolf takes a great title and does ... well, nothing good with it. The two main characters are named Larry Smallbutt and ... oh, dear ... Richard Cheese, and that's about the level of humour you're going to get with this. Larry brings a hot babe home, only to discover that's she's actually ... wait for it ... a man in drag!, who bites him on the behind, thus turning him into a queerwolf. How is this transformation depicted? Well, Larry's small butt grows larger and firmer, his nails grow longer (and polished), and he ends up in full drag. The rest of the movie is one groan-inducing gay joke after another, until Larry is finally cured by a ... wait for it ... Fagxorcist. The solution: Take the title, and do something, anything, else with it.
Mame How is it that Mame has only been filmed twice? Once in 1958, with Rosalind Russell, and then in 1974 with Lucille Ball. The answer probably has something to do with the Lucy version, which is one the most critically reviled musicals ever. I also happen to love it. I mean, it has Lucy and Bea Arthur (who steals every scene) singing "Bosom Buddies", and Lucy filmed with so many different Vaseline lenses that it becomes surreal. But it's been over thirty years since we saw Auntie Mame teaching her obviously eventually gay nephew about life, and it's time for another try. The solution: Find a larger-than-life actress who can sing and dance to bring Mame back to us. Any suggestions?
The Boys in the Band Probably the most debated gay film in history (along with Cruising), the 1970 milestone The Boys in the Band has an equal number of defenders and detractors. It was very much an artifact of its era, but I'd be fascinated to see a new version. How would modern filmmakers and actors approach the material, and if they actually tried to do an "updating", what new forms of angst would they portray? The solution: Work with an all-gay cast (there may actually be enough openly gay actors now!) to put their own spin on these characters.
Ben & Arthur So how would you go about remaking the worst film of all time? Would you keep the cinematography, which looks like public access TV from the 80's? Would you keep the scintillating dialogue, which includes such gems as "my heart, my stomach, my liver, everything, just fell right onto the floor"? Would you keep the actors, who were all probably friends and neighbours of the producer, and worked for beer and Big Beef Burritos from Taco Bell? Actually, I probably would. So, what gay movies would you want to see remade? Would it be a big budget debacle like Alexander, or an obscurity that would improve with better production values? Let us know! Submitted by on Thu, 2008-08-21 12:46. |
 Recent Comments
Recent blog posts
|
Welcome to AfterElton.com!
- Login
- Join Now!
News, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media
Bacchanalia!
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
Forget "Alexander," and the horse he rode in on. I just saw the Hadrian exhibit at the British Museum, and it's time for the story of Hadrian's love for Aninous to be told. I mean, when this kid died, his sugar daddy made him into a god! Now if that's not love, I don't know what is. Seriously, this is a story that begs to be trumpeted on the big screen. After all, you've got a Roman emperor, a Greek harem boy, and an endless supply of orgies and bath scenes. I say we get George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell to play the leads. No, wait, that's been done. How about keanu Reeves and Kosja Ullmann? Hmmm? See anything godlike about these cheekbones?
Woops!
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
I just found out that John Boorman is planning a film on Hadrian and Antinous, with Daniel Craig and Charlie Hunnam as the rumored leads. And Keanu was getting so excited! Well, I can't argue with James Bond and Nicholas Nickleby!
Heeeeeeeere's Charlie:
Oops...
...you posted yours while I was posting mine; sorry to disappoint, but apparently Charlie Hunnam will not be in the film--he told AfterElton a week or so ago that he hadn't even seen a script.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
yum
You do know that Hadrian is about to be filmed...
...an adaptation of Marguerite Yourcenar's The Memoirs of Hadrian, with Daniel Craig as Hadrian and John Boorman (Excaliber, The Emerald Forest, Hope and Glory) directing...? No word yet on who's playing Antinous. Personally, I'd like to see Gregoire LePrince-Ringuet in the role.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
The better angel
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
Frankly, I'm glad to hear it's not Hunnam. He's a bit long in the tooth for an ephebe. Actually, your Gregoire does look a bit like one of the busts of Antinous:
Remember, this guy has got to be hot enough to inspire a cult that at one time rivaled Christianity! With James Bond playing Hadrian, young actors ought to be knocking each other down to get to the casting office. It will be interesting to see who takes the laurels.
has anybody seen the Boys in the Band sequel?
Called The Men From the Boys? It's the same characters [x] years later, hopefully having come to "hate [them]selves just a little less." Came out in 2002, had a couple of stage productions, but I don't know what chance there is of a movie.
No, not "distant gay traces" -- it's distingué traces!
Boys in the Band Sequel
The Music Lovers
As much as I like to see any film where the character was "de-gayed" (The Agony & The Ecstasy, Alexander, Troy), I'd most like to see a proper, serious biography of Tchaikovsky, one that refutes the idea that he was constantly tormented by being gay, as was evident in Ken Russell's nightmarish The Music Lovers (1970), with Richard Chamberlain as the composer and Glenda Jackson as his insane, nympho wife; yes, Tchaikovsky was often conflicted by being gay, but he also had many intensely satisfying relationships with men, and they inspired many of his greatest compositions.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Russell's film was, indeed, "Pathetic"
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
I just saw a first-rate two-part documentary on Tchaikovsky with Ed Stoppard (the son of Sir Tom) in the lead role. It's in two parts: "Fortune and Tragedy" and "The Creation of Genius." The two are available as a set on Amazon. I too thought Russell's film was a travesty (and I am a big fan of Russell, as a rule). By the way, to my mind the greatest performance of Lensky's aria from "Onegin" is the one by the incomparable Fritz Wunderlich, and a video of this is now available on YouTube.:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaEHmZAG-zo&feature=related
Here's a picture of Stoppard:
I've seen the Tchaikovsky documentary
I've seen the Tchaikovsky documentary and thoroughly enjoyed it; I particularly liked that not only did it take a positive view of his homosexuality, but it also didn't shy away from showing the physical aspect of it. Here's Stoppard (second left) and fellow actors playing, um, er, St. Petersburg's Gay Mafia of the late 19th century!:
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Remakes and updates and sequels, oh my!
I love your idea of a new version of the musical Mame, snicks, and my choice for casting would definitely be the recent Kennedy Center cast, Christine Baranski as Mame and Harriet Sansom Harris as Vera Charles. Other musicals I'd love to see remade and improved would be A Little Night Music, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, and A Chorus Line - all of which suffered mightily in the translation to the screen. I'd also love to see Company turned into a film, complete with the original gay content re-added during the last tour.
I heartily second the idea of updating previous films whose gay characters and content were whitewashed in order to appeal to mainstream audiences, especially your idea of a new Cat On A Hot Tin Roof - I daresay that even mainstream audiences would be much more accepting of a Brick who is openly struggling with self-acceptance of his sexual identity these days. I could also get into more assertively gay versions of mainstream films such as Philadelphia and Deathtrap.
I'm not a huge fan of straight-up remakes - even talented directors can screw up royally (Gus Van Sant's Psycho, anyone?) However, depending on the director and writer, I'd be interested in seeing new more gay-positive takes on such gay films as Making Love, PS Your Cat Is Dead, and Norman Is That You?
Sequels are a very tough call. I'd hate to see inferior sequels to my favorite films simply because I'd hate to tarnish the memory of the originals. Therefore, Brokeback II, Another Beautiful Thing, Bigger Eden and Torch Song Trilogy Too would get big thumbs down from me. However, I wouldn't object to follow-ups to films that I enjoyed, albeit to a somewhat lesser degree, provided there's a good idea behind the continuation of the story. Films such as Trick, East Side Story, The Broken Hearts Club, All Over The Guy and But I'm A Cheerleader have potential to be continued, providing a decent concept facilitates the extension of the stories.
Oh, and if anyone ever decides that remaking Ben & Arthur is a viable idea, I may have to hunt them down and convince them of the error of their ways, by whatever means necessary.
"Cat" was remade -- with
But who could do a good job with Mame today?
Lucy was a bad choice from the day she was picked. Mame is supposed to portray a lady with an ease of sophistication and slight hauteur who got into some kooky situations. Rosalind Russel and Angela were perfect. Lucille Ball was just being her clownish self. It was the ultimate vanity project. Ball was a wonderful physical comedienne, but she did not have the skills or subtle timeing needed to play Mame. The singing is just mostly painful and she danced like one of her feet fell asleep. There is no positive way to discuss it. It simply cannot be described kindly. There is just no favorable way to spin it.
The only thing scarier would be contemplating who they would cast from today's slim pickings to play the parts of Mame and Vera? The mind boggles. Although I once saw Elaine Stritch play Vera and she was flawless.
Joshua Norton
San Francisco
I think Meryl Steep could do
What about Bebe Neuwirth?
What about Bebe Neuwirth? She'd be a very different Mame, but I think she could bring something to it. (I don't really know how the songs would fit her -- the only ones I know are "Bosom Buddies" and "Gooch's Song.")
No, not "distant gay traces" -- it's distingué traces!
Mame, no. Vera Charles, YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!
Future epitaph: "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
And if she can master the fast-talking thing, I just might have thought of someone for Mame: Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Patrick Dennis and homophobia
Patrick Dennis was gay, right?
Like a lot of us, I loved the Auntie Mame books as a kid. A little later I picked up Dennis's The Joyous Season. Rather than just having a queer-friendly aesthetic like the Mame books, this one has overtly gay and lesbian characters.
Unfortunately, those characters exist pretty much solely to be the targets of homophobic putdowns -- the gay guy is a pedophile who tries to feel up a little boy in a movie theatre; the lesbian is both a fake woman and a fake man.
Disappointing! But a lot of gay writers in that general period were hostile to their own sexuality.
Does anyone know how long Patrick Dennis lived, and whether he made any public statements after the beginning of the overt gay-rights movement?
No, not "distant gay traces" -- it's distingué traces!
Okay, while it's definitely not a classic...
...I found myself watching the 2006 chick-flick Catch and Release the other day (it's got Timothy Olyphant, what can I say?) and was thinking through the whole movie how much the plot would lend itself to a gay storyline. Here's Columbia Picture's synopsis on the movie but rewritten with a gay slant:
After the sudden death of his fiancé, Gray Wheeler finds comfort in the company of his friends: lighthearted and comic Sam, hyper-responsible Dennis, and, oddly enough, his old childhood buddy Fritz, an irresponsible player whom he’d previously pegged as one of the least reliable people in the world. As secrets about his supposedly perfect fiancé emerge, Gray comes to see new sides of the man he thought he knew, and at the same time, finds himself drawn to the last man he ever expected to fall for.
Substitute Matthew Long for Jennifer Garner and you have a cute, watchable gay romance.
Did somebody say Gregoire LePrince-Ringuet ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir3s3WzZTRU
If you want to find out about Patrick Dennis read "Uncle Mame"
He was a brilliant, tormented, VERY complex character, who lived in a time far different from our.
As for his greatest creation, NO ONE can top Roz Russell!
Live! Live! Live!
I think Kelsey Grammar optioned the rights to "Uncle Mame"
Future epitaph: "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Seems to have been back-burnered for awhile now. Also, Zadan and co. ("Gypsy" "Chicago" and various TV musical remakes such as "Bye Bye Birdie" "The Music Man" & "Annie") were actively pursuing redoing "Mame" for TV at one point, and had talked to both Cher and Barbra about being in it. Both were interested, but it never came together, and both are too mature now. (Mame has to start in her 40's and age about 20 years.) Almost all of our great talents are too up there in age to take it on. (Meryl, Liza, Bette, Christine, Bernadette, Sandy Duncan, Patti Lupone, etc.) Vicki Lewis ("Newsradio") is a great singer/dancer/comedienne, but not a big name. Michelle Pfeiffer is brilliant and can really sing, but light screwball comedy isn't her thing. Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel don't seem right somehow. Zooey Deschanel is still too young. Who's left?
They redid "Cat" for Showtime in the 80's with an uncut script--Jessica Lange and Tommy Lee Jones were Maggie and Brick. I actually saw that BEFORE the infamous Taylor-Newman version, so for me, that's the standard.
They restaged "Boys" off-Broadway in the 90's--I remember the reviews and publicity shots. Some very talented people were in it; wish it had been videotaped. Same with the recent production of "The Ritz" with Rosie Perez. I know they just taped the new version of "Company" with the openly bi Raul Esparza as Bobby, so even if they haven't restored the scene where one of his male friends makes a pass at him, at least the audience has an interesting possibility for why Bobby is so confused. ("Someone to hold me too close/Someone to hurt me too deep...")
I'd love a sequel to "Edge of Seventeen"--Chris Stafford gave one of the best performances ever of a gay adolescent in the original. I'd love to see what happened to him in the 90's and onward. Also, I wish Wolfgang Petersen would do a sequel to his German movie "The Consequence"--it's a heartbreaking love story that ends on a note of such extreme ambiguity, your first thought after seeing it is, "Aaaaaggghhh! What happened next?!?!"
However, more than anything, I'd like to see "The Front Runner" get made. I think if "Milk" is a success, that'll be the magic "go" it needs.
Rather than RE-making bad
"The Boys in the Band" doesn't need updating
NOTHING has changed.
What a new version needs is an actor as brilliant as Leonard Frey. And his like is by no means easy to find.
"Boys" with an all gay cast?
I think it was all gay except for
AKA
Lucille Ball's son-in-law. Which makes him one degree of seperation from Mame.
I think he's the only surviving member of the original cast, isn't he? (If I'm wrong, I hope someone will correct me.)
The Boys in the Band
As far as I know, there's one other surviving cast member: Peter White, who played Alan.
Peter White and Laurence Luckinbill will be providing audio commentaries on the upcoming 40th anniversary DVD release.
I definitely want the
I definitely want the realistic versions
of Alexander, Troy and of course Hadrian.
And
how about half-fiction-half-truth biopics about Da Vinci and
Michelangelo (half fiction has to be - because we barely know anything
about their private lives).
Tschaikovsky would be great too. Or Saint-Saens, or Poulenc, or de Falla.
What I always wanted to see was a great movie about the Ballets Russes or Diaghilev alone.
They were so influential, and practically ruled the French and Russian
Ballet- and Musicworld for more then a decade, their choreographies are
still danced all over the world. It's often been said that "The Red Shoes" is a movie about the Ballets Russes, but of course completely non-gay and everything.
I want Clooney for Diaghilev (or some older handsome Russian actor - I just don't know any Russian actors), Adrien Brody as Boris Kochno (Diaghilev's secretary, main collaborateur and lover), Josh Hartnett (not the best choice, but he comes close in looks) as Serge Lifar (one of the dancers and Diaghilev's lover), James Marsden as Anton Dolin (one
of the dancers and Diaghilev's lover), Orlando Bloom (I know he is a
bad actor, but I am running out of handsome young men here) as Leonide Massine (one of the dancers and Diaghilev's lover) and of course Nijinsky
(one of the dancers and Diaghilev's lover), I have no idea who could
play a convincing Nijinsky. You would also need great actors for la
Pavlova, Fokine, possibly Cocteau, Picasso, the composers...
Pure
logic is the ruin of the spirit.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Have you seen Powell's "Tales of Hoffmann"?
No, not "distant gay traces" -- it's distingué traces!
Powell and Pressburger didn't "de-gay" everything
in The Red Shoes. Leonide Masine, who plays the very important role of Grisha was Diaghilev's boyfriend and star after Nijiinsky dumped him.
And Anton Walbrook, my all-time favorite actor, was as gay as the day is long -- as noted by Powell in his two (count 'em) autobiographies.
I love George Clooney but he lacks the bloodimindednes to play Diaghilev.
gay Patrick
In my re-make Patrick is gay and his future boyfriend is a rich snobby closet-case with homophobic parents -something Mame would never tolerate. "hate the sin" types. Patrick and Garald Upson are planning to go to Argentina to manage the families beef ranch, and so they can live away from the public scrutiny. Mame's new secretary, Ryan Pegeen, is a Faux-hawked gay poet who eventually marries Patrick in California and they adopt a chinese baby, Michael, who ends up going on a world tour with Mame at the end. Is this something Madonna could do or would she screw it up?.
Boys in the Band
my fav quote:
Michael: You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock.
Harold: What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?
oh oh i've got a great remake to be gayified...
I like the idea of "gaying" straight classics.
One movie I've always thought would be perfect for a gay update is September Affair (1950), which originally starred Joseph Cotten, Joan Fontaine and Jessica Tandy; in my version, unhappily married engineer David Lawrence (Eric Bana) meets handsome, rising star pianist Mark Stuart (James Franco) during a flight to Italy; their plane makes an emergency landing in Naples, so they go sightseeing--only to miss the plane after it takes off...and then crashes; with both of them presumed dead, they decide to make a new life together...but David's wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) suspects he's still alive when their bodies are never recovered....
Yes, I'm a hopeless, romantic sap.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Kristin Chenoweth as Mame
Kristin Chenoweth would be very different -- which is good for a remake -- and a bit cute, but she would be an aunt I would have LOVED to have had!
But I also LOVE the idea of Queen Latifah. And Elijah Kelly - he got overhsadowed in Hairspray by the A-List names, but was the best thing in it.
Boys in The Band Dream Cast - this would be fantastically good:
Oh hell YEAH!
Kristin Chenoweth would be very different -- which is good for a remake -- and a bit cute, but she would be an aunt I would have LOVED to have had!
But I also LOVE the idea of Queen Latifah. And Elijah Kelly - he got overhsadowed in Hairspray by the A-List names, but was the best thing in it.
Boys in The Band Dream Cast - this would be fantastically good:
Seriously,i have been having Barrowman/Gant fantasiies forever.
I would pay any amount of money IN CASH just to see these two hotties together.
Where do i buy my ticket?
Interesting cast list...
...though you have 11 guys listed, and there are only 9 characters. Plus, I'm afraid Ian's too old to play any of them (I think David and Rupert are too, by at least a decade), unless you're hoping to add new characters.
You didn't say who you'd cast in what role (except Cheyenne as Cowboy), so I'm gonna try and take a stab at guessing who you had in mind for the others (I would think Michael and Harold would be the hardest to cast):
Emory-Guilermo Diaz
Bernard-Darryl Stephens
Hank-Robert Gant
Larry-John Barrowmen
Donald- Luke MacFarlane
Alan-DHP
Michael-Chad Allen (who played Cowboy in a revival a decade ago, I think.)
Harold-NPH (Yeah, I know he's too WASP-y, but so are the others, except for Diaz and Stephens)
How close was I?
I insist on Rupert Everett
He would be one of the best at the whip-crack bitchery in the play. I would put him as Harold. He could pass. Because yeah I thought my cast was a bit WASPY too, especially considering in NYC, all the Broadway Jews are fags and vice versa - they're the same. I put nearly every gay actor I can think of -- so where's the out NY Jew stars?
Guillermo as Emory would be delightful: "How many ess's in Chrisssstmassss?"
Remake Star Trek with Gay Characters
Once she comes out of the closet
Amy Adams!! (In "Mame," not "Boys.")
Future epitaph: "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
My sister and I were kicking this around this morning over brunch, and all of a sudden we realized: Amy Adams. Mid-30's, would age to her 50's. Expert, giggly light comedienne but also fine dramatic actress. Sexy, looks like whipped cream and strawberries, and looks smashing in period clothes. Lovely singing voice. Yay!!
With Megan Mullally as Vera Charles, Nikki Blonsky as Agnes Gooch, and Hugh Jackman as Beauregarde.
Perfect.