IMHO: "Desperate Housewives" (5.11) "Home is the Place" ... but a gay club will work in a pinch

After last month's terrific engagement episode, I was looking forward to last night's "marauding mothers-in-law" event, especially since it also featured the shrill gay househusband Lee (Kevin Rahm) and chirping bag of tics Susan (Teri Hatcher) "clubbing" together.

Unfortunately, the end result was a big "meh". Join us after the break for the details (and spoilers!)...

Since the engagement of Dr. Alex (Todd Grinnell) and Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom) was announced, it was inevitable that the show would set up a "clash of the titans" story with Andrew's control freak mother Bree (Marcia Cross) and her new in-laws.

I was ecstatic when I learned that Bree's newest adversary was going to be played by one of the all-time great character actresses, Joanna Cassidy, who was a major player during my formative years in shows such as 240-Robert (sort of a CHiPs on the beach), and the classic Wes Craven TV movie Invitation to Hell (aka "Satan's Spa"). Included in her countless movie and TV appearances is an Emmy-nominated performance as Meredith Baxter's lesbian partner in the CBS Schoolbreak special Other Mothers.

My hopes for a juicy throwdown between her character Melina and Bree were dashed when they presented her as a blowsy cocktail waitress who's ... get this ... uncouth (because cocktail waitresses in TV and films are never, ever allowed to have class or manners).

Both actresses struggle valiantly with the material (which involves each mother-in-law trying to one-up the other), but there's absolutely nothing about the scenes you couldn't predict just hearing the premise. Even the big shocker (when Bree lies about buying the happy couple a neighborhood house) was telegraphed a mile away.

I do have to give them a lot of credit for making the sexuality of the couple a non-issue to the two moms (both are fighting over who gets to keep Andrew and Alex closest to them), and I guess it's a good sign that a gay couple on TV can have typical in-law issues ... I just wish they had tried a little harder.

Lee and Bob (Tuc Watkins) have an eventful episode, with Bob the lawyer trying to wade through the Niles & Holland Preston & Porter twin story, and Lee hitting the town with the aforementioned Susan.

It works out about as well as I expected, with the two most irritating characters on the show commiserating at the local "gay club". (They enter the bar to the strains of what I swear is a remix of the opening notes of the munchkin song in The Wizard of Oz. Seriously.) As they get drunker they take turns complaining about the men in their lives, and Susan tells Lee that she's contemplating moving away with Jackson (Gale Harold) ... or maybe not.

As she starts up with her usual second-guessing BS Lee asks her, "are you sure you're not just waiting for closing time?" When Susan asks him to explain, he says "you know, the bar is closing, and you decide to settle for something ... like that!" The camera then pans over to a guy sitting alone at the bar who's obviously cruising Lee. I guess we're supposed to think he's hideous or repulsive, but I thought he was adorable, and frankly, Lee should be so lucky.

We cut to the next morning and see a hungover Susan waking up in her bed next to Lee, and when she rushes downstairs and finds empty bottles of wine and a "soft jazz" CD in the stereo, immediately assumes that the two of them slept together (I'm sure her new neighbors The Ropers came to the same conclusion).

After a couple of scenes of Susan and her trademark flustered jitters, she finally decides to ask Lee what happened, and we get a glimpse inside Lee and Bob's hideous house, which looks like the inside of Jeannie's bottle ... if Jeannie were a blind crackhead.

Lee tells her that nothing happened between them, and their last scene is actually pretty affecting, as Lee offers some good advice and an affectionate embrace. I think this was the first time we've seen any kind of warmth from the Lee character, and we should see it more often.

I'm giving the episode a sideways arrow because while there was nothing special about it, there were enough good scenes to keep it afloat (barely). And there was one laugh-out-loud moment, when Bob told Susan he was afraid that Lee had cheated because "when he's drunk, he'll bang anything with a pulse and facial hair".

What did you think of this episode? Would you give it an arrow up, down, or sideways?