IMHO "Ugly Betty" (1.22): In The Stars

I don't know if it was the delicious bitch-fests between Wilhelmina and Claire, or the absolute greatest character entrance in the show's history, but this week's episode of Ugly Betty was one of my favorites of the season.

Finally! They're allowing Wilhelmina and Claire to get the claws out, and it did not disappoint. Willi is finishing up the Mode wedding issue when new investor bigwig Cal Hartley shows up. He was supposed to be in Siberia, but unfortunately there was a major earthquake and he can't go back until "they clear the bodies".

He takes an instant dislike to Willi's wedding ideas, and when Claire barges in to discuss the "irritable bowel" issue of menopause insert Hot Flash, Cal asks for her opinions. Claire uses big fashion words like "color" and "Europe", and Cal has a brainstorm: Claire and Willi should collaborate on this issue of Mode.

Needless to say, Willi is thrilled!

What follows are a couple of fabulous scenes that point to how things could and should have been all along between these two characters. While arguing over a wedding dress, the chemical-peeled fists of fury fly:

Willi: Are you out of your mind? Her bust looks non-existent! For God's sake, Claire, put your bifocals on, she looks hideous!

Claire: How insensitive of me. The love of your life stole all of your money and fled the continent just to get away from you, so no wonder you don't like a happy wedding dress.

Willi: She looks like a baboon's ass!

Claire (to model): She didn't mean that.

Willi: Oh, stop talking to the props. Amateur! You might not remember your wedding because it was 5,000 years ago, but when I married your husband it was all about class, and this dress has none of it!

Claire: Well, it's no wonder you prefer to put brides in black dresses since you killed your groom at the altar.

Of course, during all of this, frightened minions are scurrying for cover and poor Marc tries to diffuse the situation. Sadly, the baboon ass-colored wedding dress did not survive. A moment of silence, please.

There was another classic Willi scene when she storms into Cal's office with Claire hot on her heels. Willi rants at Cal that working with Claire is impossible, because it breaks one of her "rules":

"Cal, you kept me because I'm the best in the business. As the best, there are three "C"'s that I avoid; collaboration, compromise, and Claire. And trust me, I chose the nice "C" there.

Claire decides for the good of Mode to drop out of the issue, to the great delight of Willi. The joke is on Willi, though, when Cal decides that Claire's decision shows how much she's willing to do for the company, and makes her Senior Vice-President of Meade.

Oh yeah, other stuff happened on this episode. Betty and Marc are bummed because there's a hiring freeze at Mode, and neither can get promoted. Their one shot is at YETI when they team up with Matt for their final project, which is a photoshoot and feature article for a magazine that combines "music" and "physical science". Because of all of the hiring freezes, only the winning team will get interviews anywhere, which means the stakes are huge.

Betty and Marc immediately go into hyperdrive in planning the project, but Matt seems curiously muted. He'd rather watch youtube vids with Amanda of gophers making dramatic faces.

Matt finally confesses that he's just not that into publishing anymore, and now wants to be an artist. His disinterest results in the team losing their photoshoot location - the planetarium - which sends Marc into fits.

Just when all seems lost, Betty gets the news that the planetarium has suddenly become available again, but when she heads down there she's in for the shock of her life.

She wanders around until a silhouette appears behind her followed by a familiar, and chilling voice intoning "hello, Betty". The figure rounds the corner, and Victoria Hartley (Christine Baranski) enters into the picture to the strains of Thus Spake Zarathustra. It was a perfectly realized scene, and tells us all we need to know about Matt's mother.

Mrs. Hartley admits that it was she who acquired the planetarium for their project, and blackmails Betty into helping her with Matt. Victoria is tired of Matt quitting everything he starts, and wants Betty to persuade him to finish YETI.

Betty convinces Matt to see the project through, but of course he finds out that his mother was behind it, etc., and he and Betty have a falling out etc., but everything is resolved at the end, and Betty, Marc, and Matt are the winning team.

There's also some Suarez family drama when it appears that Elena may leave for a nursing job in California. This prompts the family to convince Ignacio to propose to her. She accepts, so what are the odds they'll reach the end of the episode still together? Papi finds out she still wants the nursing job, so he gives her a plane ticket, but they'll "still see each other". Bye, Elena!

End of epis --- oh yeah, Daniel and Molly get married, then she collapses on the bathroom floor and is probably dead.

End of episode.

Like I said, I loved this one. Willi was taken down a peg by Claire (and she throws a hot temper tantrum at the planetarium), and Christine Baranski made the most of her brief scenes

Next week is the two-hour season finale, which promises even more drama with the return of Henry.

What did you think of this week's estrogen-heavy episode?