"Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List" (4.04) recaplet: Bad girls & defaced Emmys.

After last week's Gay-O-Meter straining episode of My Life on the D-List, this week's episode slows down the pace, although it does feature an appearance from the Ultimate Lesbian(tm).

The show starts off with Kathy and her assistants discussing her upcoming gig at Madison Square Garden in NYC, and her inability to promote the show due to her "re-banning" from The View. It seems that Kathy's innocent remarks in her standup special Straight to Hell about Barbara Walters didn't sit well with TPTB at the talk show.

I don't see what the problem is ... Barbara was the one who brought up using Astro-Glide, not Kathy.

Just let that image sink in for a while

In lieu of visiting The View, Kathy and the gang do something far cooler: they head on over to Rosie O'Donnell's house for a day of crafting! Seeing Rosie's craft room brought back vivid, terrifying memories of going to Vacation Bible School, and spending the summer making ceramic bible characters and accidentally witnessing two of the male counselors ... "getting to know each other Biblically."

Kathy is naturally shocked and outraged when she sees that Rosie's kids have defaced her Emmy Awards (one of them looks like it was dipped in a vat of Red Hots), and it made me wish that I could have been raised by such a cool mom like Rosie. (My mom is cool, but she busted my butt when I was a kid just because I wrapped her stupid Faberge Egg in Garbage Pail Kids stickers.)

Kathy and Rosie discuss The View, and then make an interesting deal. If Kathy can get boyfriend Steve Wozniak to procure an invitation for Rosie to attend something called The Ted Conference, which is where all the great thinkers of the world take turns saying smart stuff (it was previously known as an "AfterElton.com Conference Call"), then Rosie will arrange a face-to-face meeting for Kathy with ... Cher.

I think we just found the focus of the season finale.

You can find out what happens when Kathy officiates a wedding after the break!

Before we get to the wedding, Kathy decides to meet with a couple of women from The Bad Girls Club, which is apparently a show on the Oxygen network:

"The show follows women with various psychological and personality issues as they live together as cameras record their interpersonal relationships and their attempts to accomplish specific goals."

Hmm .. .I don't know, I think I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called The Facts Of Life.

Kathy meets one of the "bad girls", named Tanisha (who is so totally Tootie), and is taught the correct usage of the phrase "Pop Off, Son!". We then meet another bad girl named Hannah, who is blonde and sweet, and scares the hell out of me.

Because Kathy was banned from The View, she has to find another way to get publicity for her NYC show, so she decides to attend a wedding ... as the minister. She gets ordained online, and officiates the wedding of a straight couple (and she does seem very confused over this whole notion of straights getting married ... join the club!). The couple are Brian and Elka, who turn out to be great sports about the whole thing (I hope Bravo paid for their honeymoon!), because Kathy decides on a jailhouse/Jewish ceremony.

Kathy discusses her upcoming show with fellow funny ladies Megan Mullally and Molly Shannon, who discuss their "airport question" (what question are they most asked in airports), and Kathy's new airport question has shifted from "Are you Kathie Lee Gifford?" to "What is Brooke Shields like?", to questions about her late father.

The Madison Square Garden gig goes off without a hitch, and then Kathy receives the best news possible: Her role as clergywoman has garnered her an entire half page in the National Enquirer, and she realizes that she has an entire group of people she can use to get off the D-list ... straight people. Who knew?

Next week we have Cesar Milan and Kathy at the International Bears Roundup! (Hint: it's not at the zoo...)