"Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List" (4.09) recaplet: Woz (Not Woz)

On this week's episode of My Life on the D-List, we're nearing the end of the relationship of Kathy Griffin and Apple co-founder, the vaguely strange Steve Wozniak.

There's a definite "absent-minded professor" vibe to Woz (or maybe it's just A.D.D.), and he does have a tendency to go off on Rose Nylund-esque tangents (just replace "back in St. Olaf" with "back in Silicon Valley"), but his wonderful, absolute cluelessness about Kathy's life and general loveability will be missed.

First up, though, is an invitation to speak at a USC business class ... because, well because the professor is gay and a fan. It's here that we finally learn about the beginning of Team Griffin. Jessica was a shampoo girl at a hair salon, Tiffany was found on MySpace, and Tom was originally given a pity job as a dog walker. As origin stories go, it's not exactly Watchmen, but it was interesting to see that Kathy didn't go through any regular methods to find them.

She answers some questions at the lecture, but I was distracted by two guys in the front row, who looked like Bizarro world copies of Blayne from Project Runway, and Anthony Rapp from Rent.

Girlicious!

When Woz invites Kathy to be queen to his king at the Furball (which is a charity event for a pet shelter), she decides that it's the perfect opportunity to set up her friend, actress Rachel True, on a date with one of Woz's brainiac friends.

Rachel is probably best known to most people for the teen witch movie The Craft, but she'll always hold a place in my heart for co-starring in the Alyssa Milano "sexual awakening" classic Embrace of the Vampire (which also starred that guy from Spandau Ballet).

Rachel is open to the idea, and they decide that they'll try and pick a guy when they go to see Woz play Segway polo. Kathy is convinced that the "geeks" will instantly love Rachel, because "they've all seen The Craft, and they've all seen it again ... with their right hand, if you know what I mean."

Rachel's light as a feather, Tom's stiff as a board

At the Segway polo match, Rachel "auditions" the prospective suitors, and narrows it down to two possibilities. The final step of the audition process is a trip to Woz's favorite eatery, The Hickory Pit, which leads to my favorite scene in the episode.

As Rachel tries to probe the two guys with questions, Woz insists on interjecting himself into every single conversation, which soon degenerates into a stream of consciousness ramble. Kathy tries to play it off, but you can tell she was growing uncomfortable.

See what happens at the Furball after the break.

"Okay, Okay, you have better hair than that be-yotch Dorothy Hamill!

The Furball gets underway, and Woz makes a huge faux pas right off the bat when his ex-wife comes up to the table, and he completely ignores Kathy. He doesn't mean too, of course, I just think his brain is moving so fast, he gets easily distracted.

The highlight of the evening was a visit by legendary ice skater Peggy Fleming, who Kathy describes as "hammered", but I'm going to charitably deem "exuberant". She mentions she's been married for thirty seven years, which sends Woz into another quantum mathematics ramble, and eventually leaves the former Olympic gold medalist wide-eyed and confused.

After the Furball, Kathy and Woz decide to stop dating, but remain "friends". The punchline comes at he very end, when it's revealed that Woz got engaged to another woman a month after he and Kathy broke up. And no, I doubt it was Peggy Fleming.

Next week is the season finale, and it has Kathy visiting wounded veterans in the hospital, with lots of tears. Not exactly a rollicking good time, but we'll be here to recap!