Liveblogging "As The World Turns": The Search for Elle Woods

While the bionically quick-witted ATWT liveblogger Brian Juergens is off getting his weekly service maintenance and instructions from Oscar Goldman, I'll be handling today's episode.

Hopefully It'll include Luke getting loud and upset (Angry Luke turns me on) as he and Noah have a bone to pick with Elle Woods for killing Reg before they could find out where he got that hot new haircut.

Refresh often to see what happens, and remember ...the bend & snap works every time!

Preview time!: Nothing but middle-aged people. What do you think? Will Casey and Jade continue getting drunk together? Will Jade ever find her panties? Does she even realize they're missing? Will Matt continue to charm the pants off of me (hey, I'm in the privacy of my own home!) And will Luke and Noah find out what happened to Reg, and who was responsible?

2:53PM EST: Matt! has a surprise waiting for Alison back at the hospital. A picnic lunch, complete with red checkerboard tablecloth, hot dogs, and fries. That's it, I need to find myself an ex-con ...Now!

Craig and QAL kiss. This is all wrong. Evil should repel other evil, not be drawn to it.

Luke and Noah tell Casey and Jade that the plan didn't work, then leave for more off-camera lovemaking (which I'm pretending they've been having a lot of). Jade wants to know what's next for her and Casey, but is anyone else concerned that she hasn't once mentioned that she lost her panties?

2:40PM EST: Matt! and Alison walk through the cruising park as she tells him that she caught Casey and Jade together. Meanwhile, Casey shows up at the bar and tells Luke and Noah that he planted the drugs in Elle's backpack. After a minute of contemplation, Luke and Noah don't have a problem with it.

Excuse me? Noah is fine with it? The same Noah who won't even jaywalk is fine with planting evidence?

At the police station, they tell Clarice about Elle and how he was with Reg right before he died. She calls him in, and asks to check out his backpack. She looks through it and finds ... nothing, as Luke and Noah look on bewildered.

2:30PM EST: Casey is waiting in the park when Matt! comes by (what, does he cruise this park?). He tells Matt! about the plan, and Matt! wishes him good luck, and heads for the nearest ... mens room?

There's a hilarious scene when Casey's dad finds a pair of red panties and calls Clarice to tell her that their son is "at it again". She flips her hair back a few times in anger, and says "I'll be right home".

Elle Woods (who looks like Waldo with a new wardrobe) shows up in the park, and accuses Casey of trying to set him up. Casey tries to lie, but that adorable, sheepish grin gives him away. As Elle turns around to walk away, Casey plants the drugs in his backpack.

2:20PM EST: Craig and QAL? Sorry, I'm just not seeing it. Actually, I'm more concerned with how they're going to shoot around Maura West's pregnancy, since they're not writing it into the show. Cue the potted plants and giant handbags!

Nuke break the news that Reg is dead to Jade and Casey (Jasey? NO! Must resist!) Clarice is drilling Alison about Reg's death and where the drugs might have come from when Matt! intervenes and takes the heat off. Clarice is very interested that Matt! is back in town, and flips her hair about twenty times to prove it.

Nuke tells Casey and Jade (Cade? NO!!!!) that they think Elle Woods was responsible, and present Casey the drugs they found in Reg's pocket. Casey promises to give it to his mom, but doesn't think it'll be enough evidence. He calls Elle and asks to meet him in the park ... on the west side! I'm not sure what that means, but it's ominous.

2:07PM EST: Malone! He's my favorite cop I've never seen before. He tells Clarice Starling that Reg was at Casey's b-party, which allows her to flip her hair back a few dozen times in exasperation.

Luke and Noah show up at Casey's house just in time to see him zipping up after a night with Jade. They catch a glimpse of Casey's promised land, and pretend to be embarassed.

1:55PM EST: Every time I see Susan Flannery on The Bold & The Beautiful, I automatically picture her flying out of that plate glass window in The Towering Inferno wearing panties and Robert Wagner's shirt. Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that?