Liveblogging "As The World Turns": Ladies and Gentlemen ... Noah Grimaldi

Okay, so Noah's not actually going to be a Grimaldi, but it would be fun to see him attempt the machinations of his new "poppa".

First Col. Mayer, now Damian. Noah can't catch a break when it comes to fatherly role models, can he?

Join us for the fun, and refresh for updates!

2:05PM EST: We start with Luke Exposition helpfully going done the laundry list of why he thinks he's to blame for the accident.

Lily is having trouble understanding the whole "let's adopt Noah" thing, and says "EWWW, won't that make Luke and Noah brothers? ICKKK! BLECHHH!" Damian explains that they'll be brothers in name only, and Lily is relieved.

Holden comes out and tells them that Noah will die if he doesn't have the surgery soon, and Lily tells him the plan. If Holden had been drinking milk, he would have snorted it out of his nose.

Jack is continuing his "ghosts of cast members past" tour, and today runs into Molly, played by Lesli Kay, who will always be to me one of the queens of 90's Skinemax soft core.

2:10PM EST: I hope we haven't seen the end of that funny gay weatherman who's Molly's GBFF.

So who's next on Jack's tour? Oh please let it be our old pal ...

2:15PM EST: Holden tells Lily ""did you talk to Luke about this, or is this Damian's decision? Just talk to Luke. Damian shouldn't be making decisions without finding out what Luke wants". Luke approaches and tells Holden "what I want is for you to back off!".

2:25PM EST: Molly is dragging Jack to a press conference by her married congressman lover, who she assumes is about to announce that he's leaving his wife for her. Oh Molly.

Luke tells Holden "Look, I know it's weird that Damian and Mom want to adopt him, but if that's the only way to save Noah, then we have to do it". Holden says "what would Noah want?" and Luke responds "He would want to live". Even in the face of tragedy, Luke is still ... Luke.

Molly's married congressman lover has just announced that he's running for governor "of this fine state" and he brings up his wife and kids to rub it in Molly's face. She says "he's not gonna get away with this". Sorry, Molly, there's only room on this show for one Meg.

2:35PM EST: Bob tells everyone that they need to perform the surgery now, or the window of opportunity will disappear, but he can't do it without family consent. Damian says "that's not a problem, Lily and I have adopted Noah". Bob has a look on his face like "isn't there one normal family in this town?"

Molly is about to interrupt her married congressman lover's press conference when Jack drags her way. Okay, what the hell is the point of all this? Is Jack going to go around to former characters and help them through their dilemmas? Has this turned into Touched By A Snyder?

2:50PM EST: HOT! Molly is having a "Morgan Fairchild in The Seduction troubled anchorwoman who goes off script" moment, and I love it! And I love that weatherman who can't speak in anything but weather cliches. This is the most entertaining part of the show.

Molly is escorted off the set as her BFF tries to intervene. Jack calls Carly and tells her to rush to New York because Molly is in trouble.

Oh yeah ... Noah is wheeled into surgery.

Preview Time: We'll be back Thursday to see if Noah survived.