Liveblogging "One Life to Live": When FUBs attack!

* FUB - A rare combination of Fish and Cuddly Bear Cub. FUB's are docile, quiet creatures unless provoked. Things to avoid - Questioning the FUB's sexuality, trying to escape his custody, and trying to steal his soulmate.

See the FUB in his natural habitat ... and refresh for updates!

2:05PM EST:Oliver witnesses Nick proposing to Kyle, and when he asks if it's really true, Nick says "Kyle has agreed to marry me". Oliver channels Aunt Sassy, and thinks 'I don't want to SEE that!".

Wait a minute ... how old is Shane? Did Rex and GiGi have him when they were ten?

Roxy wants to pick Shane up, and GiGi convinces Rex to give his mother another chance. Roxy tells Rex "you said I could keep seeing Shane even though the two of us are ... "EXTRANGED".

I'm really blown away by what a good actor little Jack is. He can outsnark any of the adult actors, and more than hold his own.

Kyle and Nick explain that the marriage is part of a mass wedding, and Oliver says "so it's just for show?" Nick says "not for me ... and I don't think for Kyle either".

2:15PM EST: Eli enters Blair's hospital room and Jack says "who the hell are you?" Eli wants to know where Blair is, and Jack demands "what's it worth to you?"

EEK! Dorian and David still have feelings for each other. Be afraid ... be very afraid.

2:25PM EST: Nick gets off the phone with Amelia and tells Kyle and Oliver "it looks like all systems go for tomorrow". Oliver says "tomorrow? you guys are doing this tomorrow?" Don't worry, Oliver, I have a feeling it's going to be a loooooong day.

Oliver says "but even Martha Stewart can't put something together that fast". Oh, FUB.

Roxy witnesses what's going on, and while she and Shane share some candy, she says "hold down the fort ... I think my friend needs a peanut butter cup".

Nick runs off off to meet with Amelia, but comes back in order to give Kyle a very passionate kiss in front of Oliver, who's thinking "well, that's the cherry on the cake of this crappy day".

Shane sees Kyle and and Nick kiss, and stares intently. Roxy says "well, I guess you have a few questions?" Shane says "just one". Roxy explains "well, when two guys kiss each other ..." Shane interrupts and says "because they're gay, I know". Roxy looks perplexed and says "then why are you looking at them like that?" Shane says "because I wish my parents would kiss each other again". Awww! Now that's a great scene.

2:35PM EST: Oliver asks Kyle "so you're really going through with this?" Kyle says "we're doing this for all gays, etc." Sorry, Kyle, as many times as it's explained, it's still ridiculous.

Oliver asks "so, if this is just a political statement, does that mean you're not in love with Nick?"

DVTM is in full seduction mode, and as Dorian smells his chest he says "C'mon, baby, do you really think you can give this up?"

Jack is disgusted by Eli, and when Blair and Todd come in the room, he turns and leaves, saying "I need a drink!"

2:45PM EST: Kyle says "I don't know if I love Nick." Oliver says "but you're willing to commit to him forever? that's what marriage means!" Kyle responds "I know what marriage means". Oliver says "it means there's no hope for us". Kyle tells him "you really think there's hope for us? I gave up on waiting a long time ago". Crushed, Oliver says "well then , I guess I'll see you around."

After Oliver leaves, Roxy makes a drunken beeline for Kyle and says "you think it was a good idea kissing that other guy in front of Mr. Fin?" Kyle tells her "that other guys is who I'm going to marry." Roxy looks stunned.

2:55PM EST: Kyle tries explaining the situation, but Roxy says "If you wanna have a drive-thru wedding, go for it ... but are you sure you're marrying the right guy?" Memo to Kyle ... if Roxy is the sensible one between the two of you ... there's a problem.

Preview Time: We'll be back next week for the wedding ... "tomorrow"