Liveblogging "One Life To Live": How can you not trust this face?

Seriously, look at that sweet angelic face. He looks like Clark Kent's younger brother. And he's a teacher! Don't you want to polish his apple?

But that doesn't stop Oliver from being suspicious of Nick's motives. Does he have reason, or is he just jealous?

Join us to find out, and refresh for updates!

2:05PM EST: Wha-wha-wha-what? DVTM doesn't trust Amelia and tells Dorian that there's "something about Amelia". Suddenly i have visions of Ted Danson and Glenn Close.

We get another look at the Tommy and Pamela of Llanview, as Maarko's parents look on horrified.

Amelia and Nick meet in the diner, and discuss the "mission" and Nick makes the cutest Star Wars reference, saying he's managed to stay calm using a "Jedi Mind trick". Ameilia says "we're ready to strike ... now", and Nick tells her "Good, if we're going to pull this thing off, no one can know I'm involved." Unfortunately, a certain boy in blue is sitting within earshot.

TBTD admits that she has a child, and it causes Blair's claws to sharpen themselves.

2:15PM EST: Dorian and DVTM argue about Amelia until Dorian has had enough and says "I've got to go check my hair and makeup ... the homosexuals are about to arrive!".

Nick and Amelia continue to talk about "the plan", and he says "And Dorian Lord has no idea we're targeting her?" Amelia says "None. I'm ready to pull the trigger, are you?" Nick nervously says "yeah, I wish there was another way. I'm not the militant extremist type." Meanwhile, Oliver, a certain rubbernecker has overheard it all.

Oliver approaches Nick, and after some awkward moments, Nick invites Oliver to the press conference. When Nick leaves, Oliver's eyes narrow.

2:20PM EST: Amelia has invited other "left-of-center" organizations to the press conference, including the Congress of Women (COW) and the Association For Racial Opportunity (AFRO). Sorry, I can't stand puns.

I'm loving the Blair and TBTD interaction. It's liking watching Betty and Veronica on Jerry Springer.

2:30PM EST: Is it pathetic that I instantly recognized Jared's new lawyer as the guy in A.A. who dated Carrie on SATC, and eventually fell off the wagon and stripped naked outside her window?

ROFLMAO! Oliver meets up with Kyle at the gay press conference and says ... oh dear .. "I think Nick is planning to assassinate Dorian Lord". Kyle gives him the greatest "WTF are you talking about" look.

2:35PM EST: Amelia tells Dorian that Viki will probably move back up in the polls, and that she needs to something drastic. Amelia wants Dorian to announce that as mayor, she's going to marry Amelia and her partner. Dorian balks (thanks to the little bird known as DVTM chirping on her shoulder), but Amelia says "you would be one of only two mayors in the history of our nation to take this stand". Dorian needs to think about it, but DVTM is appalled she would even consider it.

2:45PM EST: Kyle is incensed that Oliver would "make up stories" about his new boyfriend, but Oliver is adamant that Nick is up to no good. He says "I heard Nick and that woman talk about targeting Dorian and about militant extremists". He points over to Nick and Amelia chatting.

And i just lost sound. Thanks a lot TIME WARNER!

Okay, we're back. Dorian starts the press conference, and introduces Amelia, who says that Dorian has an historic announcement to make.

TBTD's big secret has come out. The child she had with Ross is actually Todd's kid.

2:55PM EST: The press start to harass Dorian about why she's only now bringing up the issue of same-sex marriage. After being browbeaten by the press, Dorian becomes flustered and blurts out "Amelia is not only my campaign manager ... she's my partner". You can hear a collective gasp from the entire town of Lllanview, and Nick's eyes widen until they pop out and roll around the floor.

Blair tells TBTD that she's going to tell Todd about the baby, and TBTD starts gasping for air and grabs Blair to prevent her from leaving. they struggle mightily over Blair's bathrobe until Blair breaks free and falls back through the window. TBTD lets out a bloodcurdling scream.

Now this is soap opera!

Preview Time: More, please!