Liveblogging "One Life To Live": "Remove The Arm and Step Away From the Cutie"

Dorian is about to be sworn in as Mayor. When Nick runs into Kyle and Fub, will there be awkward tension and conversation? Let's hope so!

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2:05PM EST: Before we do anything I have to give this show major props for the whole "Mitch coming out of the coffin" thing. It was gloriously over-the-top, and harkens back to why I loved soaps growing up. Because of these "WTF?" moments. Moments such as; Tracy (my all-time favorite soap bitch) on General Hospital, refusing to give her dying father his heart medication until he signed a new will (and the look on her face when she realized he was faking his heart attack), Delia kidnapped by Prince Albert the gorilla on Ryan's Hope, Gina (my 2nd all-time favorite soap bitch) on Santa Barbara, confronting the entire Capwell family and telling each of them exactly what she thought of them ... while removing her clothing and walking away from Capwell manor naked, and Dorian and Viki having one of their claws-out catfights while trapped in Victor Lord's mausoleum. Ah ... good times.

But I digress ...

Oliver and Layla are discussing Mitch when Layla mentions that Oliver has to make sure he's home in time "for his big date". A nervous Oliver lies and says "it's not that big a deal". Layla says "you came out on live tv. Millions of people watched you two get together. Everyone wants to know how it turns out for Kyle and Fish". HA! Now if she said "Kish" I would have literally fainted dead away.

Oliver says "you make us sound like we're a reality show". He admits to being nervous about letting Kyle down

Kyle runs into Nick at the park and they briefly discuss the swearing-in before Nick can't stand it any longer and basically says "by the way, you broke my heart and made it impossible for me to ever trust anyone again".

2:15PM EST: Everyone is going ape-crap over Mitch, and it's hilarious! Meanwhile Kyle tries to explain to Nick that it never should have gone as far as it did. He gets Nick to admit that they probably were'nt even in love with each other, and when it became clear that the marriage was going to be real, he just couldn't go through with it.

Layla is perplexed why Oliver is so nervous, and the Fub hems and haws until Layla realizes that the problem may be ... sex.

Oliver hilariously drags Lalyla into one of the empty squad rooms and admits that he's scared about having sex with Kyle. Layla says "well we slept together and i had a pretty good time". Oliver blushes and says "yeah, well it's different with another guy". Wait, are they really talking about this on daytime?

Kyle tells Nick that he's nervous about being with Oliver ... hold on ... Oliver and Kyle slept together in college, so it's not like there's going to be any major surprises.

2:25PM EST: Markko is filming a documentary about Dorian's campaign and says "it's like The Life and Times of Harvey Milk, but hopefully with a better ending".

Nick and Kyle come to terms with what happened between them, and Nick says he still wants to be friends. They embrace ... just in time for Oliver to walk up behind and see the whole thing.

2:35PM EST: HA! Well so much for Nick putting everything behind him! Oliver walks up and Kyle explains that he and Nick have decided to be friends. Oliver understands, and everything seems fine ... until Nick says "hopefully once Dorian is sworn in she'll make good on her promise, and then maybe you two can get married". Kyle says "I don't know if we're quite ready to pick out rings yet", and Nick says "Right, you two haven't even slept together. Not since college". Oh no he didn't! Kyle looks like he wants to disappear into the ground, while Nick makes a hasty exit. When he leaves Kyle tells Oliver "have I told you how sexy you look in that cop uniform?" SMOOTH, KYLE. Oliver turns around and says "did you tell your ex-boyfriend that we haven't done it yet?"

2:45PM EST: Kyle explains that he didn't tell Nick they hadn't had sex, just that tonight was their first official date, and he must have assumed that they hadn't done anything yet. Oliver is still upset that Kyle talked about something so personal with someone else (I guess Oliver's sex talk with Layla doesn't count). They agree to keep things just between themselves, and they admit that they're both nervous.

2:50PM EST: Dorian is sworn in, and her first order is to issue marriage licenses to all of the gay couples who participated. Unfortunately, the Attorney General shows up and tells Dorian that the governor sent him to shut her down.

I agree with ED that Natalie is looking very much like Grace Adler here. I keep expecting her brassiere to pop a leak and spray all over Jared's grave.

Preview Time: Oliver has to make a decision involving his career and conscience.