Liveblogging "One Life To Live": The Homonomicon

Now that the hostage crisis is over, things are going to start heating up for Oliver. He gets a commendation for his Police Cop work, and this should be the day we get out first glimpse of Mama and Papa Fish. And apparently, the magical tome THE BOOK will play a role in Oliver confronting his parents with the truth this week. All hail THE BOOK!

Join us for the fun, and refresh for updates!

2:05PM EST: We start with a picture of Oliver on the front page of the newspaper being hailed a hero. Why didn't he just spring for an extra $5 and get the one that says "Oliver elected Emperor of Uranus!" Oh wait ... the newspaper is real! Way to go Oliver! Layla and Cris have framed the front page and made him a celebratory breakfast. Okay, I officially want those two as my best friends. Oliver is planning to take the day off, but Layla tells him that Bo wants to see him ASAP.

2:10PM EST: OMG ...WE HAVE KYLE AND ROXY! I have so missed both of them. They're looking at the front page, and Roxy says "so are the two of you getting back together?" Kyle says "no, I'm dating a really great guy now ... so me and Fish? it's over"

Fish says "it's probably best I go into the anal" I swear to God that's what I heard. I had to rewind it again and again before I realized that what he was actually saying was "It's probably best i go in today, though".

He tells Layla and Cris that his parents will be arriving tomorrow, and Layla presents him with The Book. He laughs, and then says "wait a minute, do you think I should come out to my parents?"

2:15PM EST: Dorian is desperately trying to backtrack from supporting the Mayor, but I think her inner pit viper has another devious plan in store.

2:25PM EST: Roxy asks Kyle if this "new guy" is a keeper, and Kyle says "yeah, enough for me to try and straighten up my act, so to speak". He's talked to the dean of the med school, who's agreed to expunge his record and let him come back, so it looks like he'll be graduating from med school. He wishes he could tell Oliver the good news, but Oliver stabbed him in the back by telling Nick nasty things about him. Roxy says "is he jealous?" and Kyle responds "I don't know, he's so far back in the closet he thinks he has a girlfriend".

Oliver thanks his friends for The Book, but even its powerful incantations aren't enough to defeat his parent's homophobia.

2:35PM EST: Oliver shows up at the PD with Layla in tow. Wait a minute ...John and Cole are there, too. What could be going on? Bo starts a press conference, and it turns out ... they're honoring the three of them! Which we ... already knew.

Kyle watches on TV as Oliver is hailed as a hero, and is given a medal (he smiles, but it's obvious Kyle is hurting inside).

As Bo was handing out the medals to everyone, I couldn't help but think there was something very Wizard of Oz about the whole thing. I almost expected Cole to point to his head and exclaim "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side."

2:45PM EST: David is pleading with Ford not to end the reality show, and tries to convince him to use Roxy (who he calls "a little scene-stealer, but what a train wreck", to her face), or Cristian, who "was once brain-washed ... and speaks Spanish!" Ford insists that the show is leaving Llanview, but hopefully they'll be time for at least one more stable shower.

Oliver runs into Kyle, who congratulates him on the medal. He says "I'm proud of you, and I bet your girlfriend is too". Oliver finally tells Kyle that he and Layla aren't together anymore, and when Kyle asks what happened, Oliver says "i'm sure you have a whole theory around it, right?" Before Kyle can respond, he gets a phone call ... from Nick. He excuses himself, as Oliver looks a wee bit devastated. He tells Cris that he's not in the mood to celebrate, but Cris tries to convince him to hang around. He says "can't you feel proud of yourself, even for a few minutes?" Oliver says "I wish I could"

2:55PM EST: Oliver heads home, and he sits down to contemplate The Book. Meanwhile, a nice mid-western couple asks Cris for directions. Cris see that the address they're looking for is his address, and realizes that he's face-to-face with ... THE FISHES!

Preview Time: We wouldn't miss this for the world!