Scraping the barrel: Eight of the worst gay depictions in film

Posted by

on August 12, 2008

With the AfterElton.com Greatest Gay Movies Poll in full swing (if you haven't voted yet, please do so!), we thought we'd take a look at the flipside, the bottom of the barrel, the worst of the worst when it comes to gay depictions on film.

Like the "best of" poll, these are not necessarily gay themed films meant for a gay audience, but rather there's something so egregious or offensive, or just plain wrong in them, that the film negatives deserve to be chopped up to be used as ukulele picks. These are films I saw once, and hope to never see again.

These selections are mine, and mine alone, so if you disagree with them (and you will), please take it out on me and not anyone else at AfterElton.com. (Well, except Brian, cause that's funny.)

Note - these films will be graded using the Cruising scale, with five being the worst.

The Choirboys

Released in 1977, The Choirboys had an impeccable pedigree; It was adapted from Joseph Wambaugh's bestselling novel about street cops, and it was directed by Robert Aldrich, who gave us such classics as Kiss Me Deadly and What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?

Unfortunately, Wambaugh was so horrified by the result, he demanded his name be removed from the credits.

I know how he feels. In fact, I wish I could have been around when the movie was being made, so I could invest in it, then demand that my name be taken off of it.

The movie is about a bunch of drunken louts who harass people, beat up women, and eventually murder someone. Did I mention that these guys are cops, and supposed to be the heroes? It's a non-stop calvacade of racism, sexism, and homophobia.

In one infamous scene, a cop is handcuffed to a tree in the middle of a cruising park, after his pants have been removed by his police pals. A grossly stereotypical predatory queen walks by carrying a purse, and walking a pink poodle, and proceeds to smack his lips and lisp his way through a conversation with the increasingly angry cop.

If that's not bad enough, later in the film, one of the cops murders a gay park hustler, but in the film's "happy ending", the guy's cop buddies help him cover up the crime, and he gets away with it!

So how bad is The Choirboys? Let me put it this way: the most sane, reasonable character in the film is played by ... James Woods.

Cruising rating

The Rock

One of the myriad of bad action films Nicolas Cage made immediately after winning the Oscar, 1996's The Rock would be just another forgettable "blow'd up real good" spectacle were it not for one scene that had my eyes roll completely out of their sockets, bounce down the steps, and hail a cab to Hollywood to smack the screenwriters.

In this scene, Sean Connery is getting his hair cut by a flamboyant barber (played by...Anthony Clark?) when some bad guys interrupt with guns blazing, sending the barber into a hysterically screaming, hands waving fit. They find him a few minutes later, literally cowering in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably.

So what's the point of including a scene like that? Easy, it gets laughs from the target audience, namely young, straight men. The producers know who their audience is, and they know exactly what to feed them.

Cruising Rating

See more barrel scrapings after the break.

Copycat

Released in 1995, Copycat was a serviceable enough thriller, and featured the fabulous Sigourney Weaver and Holly Hunter, with the able support of Dermot Mulroney, and the cast against type Harry Connick, Jr..

Sigourney stars as an agoraphobic psychologist who has a gay assistant. I was initially pleased that the character was gay, especially because he was so likeable, and because the movie didn't make an issue out of it, it was just matter-of-fact.

William McNamara plays a serial killer who starts mimicking other famous killers, like Ted Bundy. So far, so good...until it's revealed that one of the killers he's copying is Jeffrey Dahmer.

As soon as I heard that, my heart sank. I knew what they were going to do, and I was right. The gay assistant is murdered by the killer.

So, the only reason they made this character gay...is so he could be one of the victims. How utterly cynical and offensive.

Cruising rating

Suddenly Last Summer

From 1959, Suddenly Last Summer has sparked endless debate, with people who either love it or hate it. You'll have to put me in the second camp.

It starred Elizabeth Taylor at the height of her beauty, Katherine Hepburn at her most stoic, and Montgomery Clift at his most enigmatic. The star of the movie, though, is the character of Sebastian, who is the gay cousin of the Liz Taylor character, and who is hard to describe...because we never see his face.

Sebastian is presented as a predator (and a pedophile), and eventually he's killed by beach urchins (it's implied they cannibalize him, so the word "faceless" may truly be appropriate).

I know that some people can see past the horrific depiction and appreciate the finer points (like Liz in that white bathing suit), but not even that can save it for me.

Cruising rating

Partners

The 1982 comedy Partners has been described as "Cruising as a sitcom". It's true that both films are about macho, straight cops going undercover in the gay community, but that's where the similarity ends. While Cruising featured offensive stereotypes of gay men as sado-masochistic and promiscuous, Partners featured offensive stereotypes of gay men as lisping, crying weaklings. See..totally different!

In this movie, Ryan O'Neal played a tough cop assigned to investigate a series of gay killings, and was forced to partner with the nervous, emotional gay cop played by John Hurt.

You can probably guess what happens after that. The John Hurt cop will slowly start to fall in love with his homophobic partner, and we're treated to the expected sights, like gay men who wear a lot of pink, (and Ryan is given a pink Volkswagen to help him fit in), the older gay men are all lecherous, the gay apartment they hide out in is filled with doilies and antiques, and the outfits they have to wear include lots of headbands and short shorts.

Cruising rating

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry/Wild Hogs

Now, just for you, a good old fashioned double feature! The twin bill of the putrid pair I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and Wild Hogs, just to show how far we haven't come.

I vowed I would never watch these two films, but when they came on cable, I was compelled to check them out (okay, actually, I was forced to watch Wild Hogs because when it came on, my butt was asleep, and I couldn't move to get the remote ... and I watched Chuck & Larry as penance for forcing my mom to watch 2 girls, 1 cup.)

Enough has been written about the gay panic and "fag" jokes in both films that i'm sure it must have gotten back to the filmmakers, but I guess we'll see, because there are rumours that we may seeing this frightening prediction come true: "Coming Soon - Wild Hogs 2".

Cruising rating

And i saved the absolute worst for last. My pick for the most homophobic movie ever made is ...

Irreversible

Hey, I love pretentious art house flicks as much as any gay man, but I can also smell a big bag of B.S. from a mile away, and that's what 2002's Irreversible is.

In this film, heterosexuality is representative of everything good and life-affirming (with softly lit, gauzy scenes of two straight lovers laughing and making love), while everything queer is dark and depraved and brutal and violent.

The heroine is raped, in one of the most horrific scenes ever filmed in a quasi-mainstream film...by a gay man. The woman's husband tracks him down to a bar called "Club Rectum", and ends up killing an innocent gay men (in a scene that involves him beating the man's head with a fire extinguisher until there's nothing left).

I've heard the movie called "poetic" and that it's not depraved, it's "about depravity". I've had discussions with people who say that I "just don't get it".

No, believe me, I "get it". I just don't buy it.

Cruising rating