"True Blood" (1.10) recaplet: I Don't Wanna Know

Bill goes before The Legion of Doom, Tara tries to purge the devil inside, Jason has his hands full with Eddie, and Sookie learns why Sam is always trying to lick himself. Because he can! See it all after the break!

We start off with Sookie screaming because Sam is sleeping naked at the edge of the bed. He wakes up and groggily explains that he's a method actor, and is doing research for his role in the upcoming The Robert Downey Jr. Story.

She screams more and runs into the bathroom, where she hides in the shower and picks up a scrub stick. She shouts out "come any closer and I'll exfoliate you!", but when she looks out she sees Dean the dog, who then transforms into Sam. He says "I'm not the killer, I'm a shapeshifter". Sookie responds in the only appropriate way, by simply stating "shut the f**k up".

After Sookie calms down, Sam tries to explain everything. He has what is known as Manimal-itis, and there are thousands, if not tens of thousands of them in the world. He knows it's hereditary, but he was adopted, and the family who took him in never spoke about it (which is hard to believe, considering they show a flashback of him as his adoptive parents watch him turn into Airbud.)

Sookie asks if he can "shift" into other humans, and Sam says no, that humans are too complex an organism to imitate (but for some reason, he can do the entire cast of Gossip Girl). He can do other animals like cats and birds, but flying is hard. I was hoping he could shift into cool stuff like a winged monkey from Wizard of Oz or Ookla The Mok from Thundarr the Barbarian, but alas ... he says he needs a live animal as an "imprint".

Sam says he can control it except during a full moon, and when Sookie says "like a werewolf?" he gets pissed and exclaims that werewolves are evil and nasty, and DO NOT call him a werewolf!

All of this is too much for Sookie, who asks "werewolves exist too? What else is there?" to which Sam ominously replies "more than you can imagine." She can't handle any more, what with Bill being carted off and now Sam lying to her all this time, and she'll remain pissed off for the rest of the episode.

Tara and Miss Jeannette are in the middle of the woods having a tea party exorcism, which involves spitting on hands, drinking vile concoctions and hallucinations (in other words, a typical AfterElton office party).

It seems to work for Tara, though, as she drinks the "snake juice" and barfs up a demon then stabs another demon with a knife. The next morning she arrives back at home and tells her mother that she's been cured. As the two of them share a wonderful tender moment and make plans to spend the day together, I couldn't help but think "bring back the demons!"

Unfortunately for Tara, her demon-free life is short lived. As she and Lettie are driving back from their seafood fiesta, Tara runs into a drugstore to pick up some Pepto-Bismol and sees a familiar face working the afternoon shift. It's Miss Jeannette in a particularly unconvincing wig. Tara confronts her and realizes her whole schtick is a sham. The "snake juice" was nothing more than ipecac and peyote, and that's what made her puke and hallucinate.

Jeannette explains that she does what she has to for her family and if that means conning a few people, then so be it. Tara is enraged, but Jeannette advises her not to tell Lettie anything because faith has convinced her that her demon is gone.

Meanwhile, Amy is draining Eddie when he wakes up and asks where Jason is. Amy tells him to get his filthy mind off her boyfriend but Eddie argues that it's not like that ... he likes Jason because he's a good person. Amy says "are you implying that I'm not?" and Eddie replies "Jason isn't planning to kill me when I'm of no longer use to him."

This sends Amy on a granola rampage, as she grabs him by the face and says "I'm an organic vegan, and my carbon footprint is miniscule!" (um ... yeah, a word of advice, Amy. That's probably not the thing to say if you want people to believe you're not a raving freaking lunatic.)

Amy discovers that Jason has been feeding Eddie Tru Blood and has been discussing their relationship with him. The next morning Amy talks to Jason, and pretends to be concerned about Eddie's welfare. They decide to make things more comfortable for him, and who knows, maybe he'll grow to love them. That way they don't have to keep him chained up and he can roam around the backyard at night, and they can take him with them on trips (in what, a vampire carrier?).

Later that night Eddie is being fed by Jason when he mentions that Amy found out about the Tru Blood. Jason realizes that Amy lied to him but is still not convinced about how dangerous she is, and refuses to believe it when Eddie says that Amy will eventually kill him.

The engagement party for Rene and Arlene is in full swing, and everyone from town is there.

Look, there's Tara, who realizes the demon was actually just her real personality and decides to get stinking drunk to celebrate. She manages to insult all of her friends before driving off in a stupor. She's weaving all around when she has to swerve to avoid hitting a woman and a very large pig in the middle of the road. The freaky pig lady turns to face the camera, and OMG, it's Michelle Forbes! (A lot of people will recognize her from Battlestar Galactica, but to me will always be Ensign Ro Laren)

We've also got Lafayette, who received a visit from his republican senator friend but is fresh out of V Juice, and instead had to settle for plain old sex to earn money. He knows something has gone horribly wrong with supplier Eddie and has a vague idea that Jason is somehow responsible, but has no clue the extent to which Jason is involved.

Speaking of Jason, he and Amy are enjoying the party when Jason makes the mistake of talking to Rene and Hoyt about relationships. Jason complains that he thinks he's losing the upperhand with Amy, and Rene convinces him to let her know who's boss. This attitude will prove fatal later on when they get home, when Jason tells Amy that he's going to let Eddie go. As he starts untying Eddie's bonds, Amy grabs a wooden stick and stakes Eddie through the heart, leaving Jason gasping and screaming and covered with Eddie entrails. WHAT ... A ... BITCH.

Andy confronts Sam about the lies he's told, and tells him he can find no trace of Sam's existence before moving to town. Sam tells him that he's been on his own since he was fifteen (and we see a flashback to him coming home to find that his adoptive family has moved out of their house).

Sookie goes inside the empty Merlotte's to get some ice and has a vision of a girl being killed (Dawn, perhaps? I couldn't tell), then the lights go out. A figure jumps out of the dark and tries to attack her. It's the killer! She runs around in the dark playing "last girl in a slasher" for a while until she turns a corner and sees Sam. Sam holds her tight, as the two of them stare into the darkness...

And finally, we come to The Trial of Billy Compton. Bill has been taken by Eric to the "tribunal" (which looks like a leftover set from the finale of X-Men: The Last Stand). The poo-bah is played by Emmy winner Zeljko Ivanek, who is one mean S.O.B.

The guy on trial before Bill is found guilty of feeding off another vampire's human, and is sentenced to having his fangs removed (which we see in graphic detail). They won't grow back for a few months, so it looks like it's Tru Blood through a straw til then.

When it's Bill's turn, he tries to explain that killing LongShadow was necessary, and Eric sticks up for him (to an extent), but the poo-bah explains that killing another vampire is one of the ultimate crimes and he'll have to pay the price. Ordinarily the punishment would be sealing him up in a silver-chained coffin for five years. In that time, he would become leather and sticks and would probably go insane. Probably?

Because of the extenuating circumstances, and because the poo-bah is feeling "creative", it's decided that Bill will pay for his crime a different way. It seems he's strayed too far from his vampire roots and must come back to the fold by ... turning someone.

A car pulls up and the trunk opens to reveal a hysterical girl. She's an innocent Christian girl named Jessica who decided to sneak out of her house to go to a party and is now paying the price for having sinful thoughts. She pleads "please, I just want to go home and watch the 7th Heaven marathon," but the poo-bah has other plans.

Bill has never been a "maker" before, and he's ordered to turn this virginal young girl into a vampire. He protests but has no choice, and in the final scene we see him feasting on her neck.

Another great episode filled with good little scenes, like Hoyt telling off his mother, and Terry seemingly unable to grasp the concept of rudimentary small talk.

I loved the introduction of the pig lady (what the hell is that about?), and as far as I'm concerned, the end can't come fast enough for Amy. It looks like Sookie and Sam are going to become closer, and from the previews of next week's episode, she's none too happy to see the return of Bill.

And poor Eddie...

What did you think of this episode? I think the show is getting better every week, and I hope they pull out all the stops in the final two shows.