"True Blood" recaplet (1.02): Bloodletting

"There's a crack in the mirror and a bloodstain on the bed - Oh you were a vampire and baby I'm walking dead"

Watching the terrific second episode of HBO's gothic vampire series True Blood, I couldn't help but think of that song, which is the title track of one of the greatest albums of the 90's, Bloodletting, by Concrete Blonde. (And they should really try to add that song to the soundtrack when it's released, it fits perfectly.)

This episode starts off with real bloodletting, as we pick up where the debut episode left off: The character of Sookie, played with gusto and and an infallible Wonderbra by Anna Paquin, has been beset upon by a couple of southern cousins of Cletus from The Simpsons.

They're upset that she stopped them from draining the blood of the mysterious new vampire in town, Bill, and cost them thousands of dollars. Vampire blood is a hot commodity on the black market because it has unusual properties, like boosting your sexual desire. (Personally, I'll just stick with my Horny Goat Weed and Powdered Rhino Horn, thank you very much).

They attack her as she's leaving work, and leave her a bloody, crumpled mess on the ground. Just as they're about to finish the job, that dog from the first episode shows up (the same dog who seems to show up whenever Sookie is in trouble ... Hmm...) and growls at them. Southern Fried Cletus pulls out a gun, but before he can use it, Sookie grabs his leg. Suddenly, he's catapulted into a tree, and then a ghostly image races around the screen, killing both him and Whorance Jean Castleberry. (Sadly, no one would ever kiss her grits again)

As Sookie sputters blood, we see Bill scoop her up and carry her away, as the credits roll.

Okay, this was a bit confusing to me. At first I thought, "does Sookie has some new power she's tapping into?", then when that ghostly image started running around, I thought "well, it has to be Bill, even though it sure looked like Sookie threw that guy into the tree". Finally, I paused it and went frame by frame, and it's definitely Bill racing around, but I still think there's something odd about that scene. Hmm...

Jason (Ryan Kwanten) watches America's Most Embarrassing Home Videos

(Photo: Jaimie Trueblood/HBO)

After the credits (and I really have to try to remember to avert my eyes when they show that time lapse of the wolf with the maggots on it), we immediately cut to a videotape of Jason and the late Maudette having loud S & M sex, which immediately had me reaching for the volume control on the remote (seriously, why do girls have to moan so loudly?).

We see that the tape is being watched by Jason in the police station, along with the sheriff and deputy. Jason looks grief stricken as the tape shows him accidentally strangling Maudette to death as he ... um, "arrives at his destination". We see him panic on the videotape and flee the room, and it all looks pretty hopeless for the blonde hunk (and to be honest, I was already picturing him in the shower room on Oz as he meets his new roommate, Chris Keller).

Okay Snicks, focus!

Anyway, my hopes of seeing Jason all lathered up are dashed when the videotape shows that after he leaves, Maudette starts laughing, and we realize that she was just pulling a prank on him. Jason is relieved, of course, but it still doesn't explain how Maudette ended up dead.

He mentions the other videotape (the one where she's having more loud S & M sex ... jeesh, put a cork in it, honey) and describes the vampire on it as "bald headed, with a weird tattoo, and he looked crazy out of his mother effing mind". OMG, the vampire is ... Mr. Clean?

The deputy tells him that they didn't find any other videotape, and that maybe "someone only wanted them to find this videotape, because it supposedly clears him of a crime that he came back later to commit". It takes Jason a few seconds to comprehend what he's saying (and that brief scene brilliantly sums up his character), and then he finally gets it and laughs, "c'mom, I'm not that smart!"

That's true, Jason, but when you look like you do, you don't need to be. Whoops, you talked back to a guard, Jason, now it's three days naked in The Hole for you.

Will Sookie recover? Will Bill lend a hand? And will Jason get off? And hey, where's Lafayette? Join us after the break and find out!

Bill (Stephen Moyer) gets bloody

(Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO)

Bill carries Sookie into the woods, bites a gaping hole in his wrist, and forces Sookie to drink from it. She resists at first, but he says "if you don't, you'll die", and soon she's gnawing into it like an extra in a Romero flick. It's good for what ails ya!

Meanwhile, Sookie's best friend (and sass queen) Tara arrives home to see her mother passed out on the couch (leading to the brilliant throwaway image of a copy of The National Inquiry with the headline "Angelina Adopts Vampire Baby!"). We finally discover why Tara is sometimes unpleasant to be around, as she pours an industrial sized bowl of Lucky Charms ... and then pours sugar on it. Obviously, her glucose level is out of whack.

She phones Lafayette (who isn't given nearly enough to do in this episode), and they make plans to meet later at a party.

Jason shows up at Dawn's house (who answers the door about three minutes after her breasts do), and he's drunk and hysterical about how he though he killed Maudette, and that he needs ... comforting. Thankfully, Dawn's funbags sympathize, and soon he's nestled in them (and someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it certainly looks like he wipes his runny nose on them!).

We cut to Bill and Sookie in the woods, where she's completely healed, and he's licking the dried blood off of her. Sookie wakes up and asks him if she tastes differently than other people. He says that he knows she's not like anyone else, and she admits to him that she's a telepath. He's taken aback at first, until she assures him that she can't read his thoughts.

Curious, Bill asks how she manages to maintain a social life, and she confesses that she doesn't date. The few time she's tried ended disastrously, as the date's ulterior motives were easy pickings for her telepathy (including the guy who thought she might make a good wife, so he would "stop having those thoughts about Matt Damon, and Jake Gyllenhall in Jarhead").

The hardest part for her is trying to stay out of the heads of her friends and family, but she copes the best she can, and has resigned herself to not having a relationship (which is why meeting a man she can't read is so intriguing). She invites him to dinner to meet her grandmother, who is anxious to have him talk to her Civil War group, and he agrees.

Tara and Lafayette show up at the party, and after she tells a wannabe suitor an outrageous story about her "psychotic husband", she notices that Lafayette has disappeared, along with "the straightest guy at the party", with whom he was flirting.

We get another scene of Jason having rough sex (which he obviously now has a hankering for), and as he's laying next to Dawn, notices a pair of fang marks on her shoulder. Hmm...

As Sookie is eating breakfast at her grandma's, she's watching a TV debate show where the vampire advocate we saw last week is having a heated discussion with an A.F.A. type minister who blusters about vampires being in cahoots with Satan, and destroying America's values, etc. Nothing all of us haven't heard before.

As she's eating the sausage her grandma prepared, she starts rhapsodizing about how she can taste every part of its existence, and how she can see the pig it came from, and the manure the pig ate, and so on. So either that vampire blood she drank is awakening her senses, or she accidentally ate her grandma's secret stash of peyote sausage.

Tara comes in, quickly followed by Jason, and they both berate her for insisting on associating with her new vampire friend. Grandma breathlessly rushes in to announce that a "tornado" came down last night and overturned the trailer that the Scuzzy Couple were living in, and crushed them to death. Sookie drives over to take a look, but is interrupted by the Sheriff, who warns her that he doesn't think a tornado was at fault, and implies it was a man-made disaster (or vampire-made).

<

Sookie comes home to find out that Jason and Tara have invited themselves to the dinner, and then her spidey sense starts tingling, and she notices a horrible stench of rotting food, which she follows until she finds ... a half-eaten Cheez-It on the floor?

Bill shows up for the dinner, but can't come in the house unless Sookie invites him. He goes to great lengths to explain that a vampire can't enter a house unless he's invited, so I expect this rule to show up again in a future episode. Once inside, grandma inundates him with questions about the old South, while Jason and Tara treat him like something they stepped on in the swamp.

Bill asks grandma permission to take Sookie for a walk, and she says "it's okay by me, if it's okay bayou" (I'm so, so sorry), and Jason jumps up and tries to play "man of the house". Grandma tears him down, and as Sookie and Bill leave, he says "thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him, Gran". Proving how wise she is, grandma says "you don't need my help looking like a fool". Burned by Grandma!

Stephen Moyer as Bill
 
(Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO)

Sookie and Bill walk for a while, but he notices that the dog is hanging around them again. Hmm...

Bill explains that by drinking so much of his blood, she can expect to have keener senses, and a healthier libido. And he'll always be able to feel her, and find her fast, which can come in handy if she's in trouble again. He explains what it is to "glamour" someone (basically hypnotize a human) and Sookie asks him to try to glamour her. At first he refuses, but when he attempts it, he is astonished to find that he can't.

They arrive at Bill's house, and he laments that he can't find an electrician who will come out to work on the house. Sookie offers to make a few calls and promises to stop by his house and let him know who to call. After some more small talk, they move closer to each other, but just as they're about to kiss, Bill experiences premature fangulation(tm), and has to excuse himself.

The next morning, Jason is tied up, naked and spreadeagled to Dawn's bedpost (this surprises you?), and Dawn leaves him there until she gets home from work that night. A sheet is covering his naughty bits, but as he struggles, the sheet flips up a bit (unfortunately, after much frame advancing, rewinding, and pausing, I'm pissed to announce that he actually did have something on under the sheet. NOT COOL, SHOW!).

Back at Merlotte's Bar & Grill, it's pretty much business as usual. Tara is insulting a customer, and standing up to Sam, who we also didn't see much of in this episode. Or did we? Hmm...

Sookie is preocuppied, and thus is reading people's thoughts right and left, but thanks to Rene, she's able to fend off the predatory butt grabbing of an obnoxious frat boy. (I don't know what Rene's story is yet ... is he just a glorified extra, or will he play a part in things?)

Sam asks Sookie into his office, and asks her about whose thoughts she can hear. He asks if she can read his, and when she says she doesn't want to, he says "try it, you might like it". Well Sam, if she won't, I will.

We finally see Lafayette again, although we don't find out what happened when he left with the straight guy, and then Sookie sees a news report on TV. It seems that the A.F.A. type guy, who we saw earlier, was killed in a ..."freak accident". Hmm...

The final scene of the episode has Sookie arriving at Bill's house, only to be greeted by a bunch of rejects from the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow, including the aforementioned Mr. Clean/Dirty vampire. They all bare their fangs to Sookie, as Mr. Clean/Dirty's eyes roll back in his head. Developing...

I liked this episode more than the premiere, probably because they didn't have to bother as much with set-up. We're getting to know these characters better, and they're being fleshed out more ... except for Layayette and Sam, who we'll hopefully see more of in the future. I really hope Layayette doesn't become just another "barely there" gay.

What did you think? If you weren't happy with the premiere, did this redeem it, or were you disappointed? Let us know in the comments, and come back next week for episode three!