The Yuletide Gay: Unwrapping 7 of the gayest (and best) holiday variety specials

The airing of the destined-to-be classic A Colbert Christmas - The Greatest Gift Of All made us wistful for those bygone days when the television airwaves would be filled from Thanksgiving to Christmas with the joyous sounds of eggnog-induced insanity courtesy of the most special of entertainment gifts: the holiday variety special.

Join us after the break as we take a trip down memory lane with a look at some of the gayest, campiest, or just plain most indescribable moments from holiday specials of years past. Let's carve up some turkey and ham!

THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (1978)

Lumpy, Harvey Korman

Certainly the most infamous holiday special ever made, it's been the bane of George Lucas's existence for thirty years. As someone who loathes Star Wars, I personally find it awe-inspiring. Chewbacca is returning home to celebrate "Life Day" with his father Itchy and son Lumpy. I kid you not. Almost everyone involved has disowned it, which makes it "must see" viewing.

Gay interest: Harvey Korman in robot space drag, Diahann Carroll as the holographic fantasy of a geriatric Wookie, and in the greatest scene, Bea Arthur singing "The Cantina Song".

DONNY & MARIE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1978)

My name is Talky Tina ... and I'm going to kill you!

Before Marie was fainting on dance shows and Donny was proclaiming that some of his best friends are gay, they paired up to bring their unique brand of toothiness to primetime tv. Their holiday special in 1978 featured the usual wholesome comedy, plus an appearance by everyone's favorite gay uncle, Paul Lynde.

 

Gay interest: Paul plays a grouchy department store Santa to Donny & Marie's bratty kids. The sight of Marie screeching and bouncing on Paul's knee must be seen to be believed. She's like a cross between Small Wonder and one of those evil hell dolls she designs.

A SOLID GOLD CHRISTMAS (1982)

As I've said repeatedly, everything I need to know in life I learned watching Solid Gold. The 1982 holiday special featured a countdown of the top forty Christmas songs of all time (all interpreted by the Solid Gold dancers, including the iconic Darcel), special guest stars like Marie Osmond (again!), John Davidson ... and the Chipmunks.

Gay interest:Donna Summer dressed like a pilgrim schoolmarm, soul-crushing banter between hosts Rex Smith, Marilyn McCoo and Solid Gold regulars Wayland Flowers & Madam.

PEE WEE'S PLAYHOUSE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1988)

One of the all-time greatest and gayest tv specials. After twenty years, it's still just as sharp and hilariously subversive.

Gay interest: What isn't of gay interest? You've got guest stars like Joan Rivers, K.D. Lang, Charo, The Del Rubio Triplets, and ... Cher! Also, Little Richard learns to ice skate, and best of all, Grace Jones performs "The Little Drummer Boy".

THE BOB HOPE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1977)

A musical with E.L.O.? I am so there!

Even as a tot, I knew that the Bob Hope specials were unwatchable. Intentionally bad jokes are still ... bad jokes, and no amount of winking at the audience could make it bearable. His holiday special in 1977 had lots of Star Wars jokes, and featured guest appearances from Perry Como (still alive!), and Mark Hamill.

Gay interest: The always lovely and luminous presence of Olivia Newton-John, who I'll watch in anything (to prove it ... I even have the collector's edition of Two of A Kind).

THE RUPAUL CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1997)

His Vh-1 talk show was tragically short-lived, but brought the icon to mainstream America. And every entertainer dreams of hosting their own holiday variety special, which Ru batted out of the ballpark.

Gay interest: It's Rupaul! Whether he's parodying Joan Crawford or performing a modern version of "All I Want for Christmas" aided by sidekick Michelle Visage and porn legend Chasey Lain on candy cane stripper poles, it's all good.

And finally, we've saved the best for last. The most awesome holiday treat you'll ever experience:

KATHIE LEE'S HIP HOP CHRISTMAS (1995)

Where's Billy Chapman when you need him? PUNISH!

Okay, this was actually part of a video tape called Kathie Lee's Rock N Tots Cafe: A Christmas Giff, but they ran it on Family Channel a couple years ago, so technically, it counts! besides, how could we not mention this ... this ... well, you'll just have to experience it for yourself.

Gay interest: ... it's Kathie Lee's hip hop Christmas!

Okay, we know this is just the tip of the iceberg, so let us know your personal favorites for the gayest, or campiest, or just plain awesomest holiday specials!