"Ugly Betty" (3.02) recaplet: Betty gets her Willi out

This week's episode of ABC's Ugly Betty opens with our heroine continuing to deal with boss Daniel and the cesspool known as Player magazine.

They're on the steps of a NYC courthouse* with scantily clad models in lingerie posing as lawyers (isn't that how Nancy Grace and Gloria Allred got started?), when Betty realizes that Daniel has been making notes about the upcoming issue of Mode. He denies caring about what happens to the magazine he was fired from, but Betty doesn't buy it, and later brings it to the attention of Alexis. She dismisses it at first, but after looking at his input, is intrigued ... could she be regretting her decision to replace him with Wilhelmina?

Hilda and her too-beautiful-for-words boyfriend Tony (Eddie Cibrian) are taking a romantic stroll past Riker's Island when he proposes they do something "special"... in a few days when his wife is out of town. For some reason, this doesn't sit too well with her, but he promises her that she's not "the other woman", she's the "only woman" (a groaner of a line, but with abs and package sincerity like his, you can almost buy it).

* On a side note, the production of the show moved to NYC this season to make it "more authentic", and they're certainly milking the location shooting for all it's worth.

"I like Doggie Chow, too"

Alexis takes Daniel's notes and confronts Willi about the upcoming issue, but Willi is suspicious about the crudely written post-it notes on Alexis's mock-up, and realizes what's going on ... she can recognize Daniel's dangling participles anywhere.

Nervous that Daniel might be trying to usurp her, Willi and Marc plot to stop him ... by removing Betty from the picture, which leads to this chilling line that reverberates through the halls of Mode: "Betty, you have a lunch date ... with Wilhelmina".

Betty and Willi have lunch together, in the most uncomfortable scene of its kind since Showgirls, and Willi (who looks like she's wearing a bottle opener around her neck) makes excruciatingly awkward small talk. After she tells Betty that her blouse is "lovely", Betty calls her on her BS, and Willi delivers my favorite line of the night: "you're right, it's hideous ... like driving through Ohio". Willi makes Betty a job offer, working for her at Mode, but says, "don't worry, I won't ask you to do anything morally suspect ... that's what i have Marc for."

Betty discusses it with her family (in the only scene tonight where they're all together), and they're for her going back to work at Mode (especially Justin, for whom reading Player is like reading a National Geographic about lost pygmy tribes).

Willi runs into Daniel in the elevator, and "innocently" mentions the lunch she had with Betty, and when he confronts Betty about it, they have a tiff, which leads her to accept Wilhelmina's offer.

Even with Bob Mackie's help, the musical version of Sigmund and the Sea Monsters was panned.

Marc makes it clear that he's still in charge (but tells her that if she gets the filing right, he won't "beat her with a bag of oranges"), and Betty takes on her first assignment ... delivering a cup of coffee to Willi during the big meeting with an Italian cosmetics advertiser. The owner of the company (who's wearing an atrocious green outfit that makes her look like a hairy celery stalk) asks Betty if she wears her line of makeup. Betty says no, she can't afford them, but if he woman advertised her new budget line in Mode, all the girls in Queens would buy it.

The woman ends up extending her contract with Mode, thanks to Betty, which garners a smile from Willi (unfortunately, Marc explains that she wasn't actually smiling, but "showing her teeth").

Will Betty be seduced by the dark side? Find out after the break!

Betty is given an impossible assignment by Willi (something about procuring the tiara worn by Catherine the Great for the Mode launch party), and when Betty questions her, Willi shushes her like Cesar Milan on The Dog Whisperer.

Daniel is tossing a ball around with Rafael Nadal, Jr. and trying to find a way to explain the meeting he just had with an attorney. Seems that Rafa's grandparents want to sue for custody, and Daniel needs to find out how he feels about it. Daniel mentions "playing hooky", and when Rafa (whose english is still shaky) says "you mean ... prostitutes?", Daniel tells the 13-year-old, "No, no prostitutes ... only when you're older ... um, I mean, not at all, son!" Smooth.

Um, presenting a tiara to Vanessa Williams?...AWKWARD!!

Betty goes to the museum to try and rent the tiara, and is soundly laughed at by the guards, but the curator has a different reaction. Back at Mode, Marc and Amanda (who don't have nearly enough scenes together this episode) are anxiously awaiting Betty's arrival (to see her fail miserably in front of Willi), but are shocked when she shows up ... with the tiara. Seems that the curator had just broken up with her boyfriend, and because Betty was willing to listen, the woman agreed that Willi could borrow the crown.

Willi is suitably impressed, but reveals that it was all just a test, and Betty passed the test. She wants Betty to be in charge of the launch party, which does not sit well with Marc.

Tony shows up to talk to Betty, and is pounced on by Marc and Amanda like two horny lions attacking a gazelle ... a gazelle with beautiful eyes ... and rock-hard body ... and sweet smile ...

Where was I? Oh yeah ... gazelle. After he leaves, Amanda reveals that she pilfered his cell phone, but doesn't much care for the slutty stewardess who's kissing him in the pics on it. Betty realizes that he's seeing another woman, and later, she confronts Hilda with the info. Hilda finally comes clean, and admits that Tony is married, but she won't stop seeing him, which causes a major disagreement between her and Betty.

"Airport security?...But we're not at the airport!"

Back at the Mode launch party preparation, Betty is frazzled with all the last minute grunt work (including problems with the giant ice sculpture of the ice queen herself), and Marc refuses to help her. In fact, he dumps more work on her by presenting her with a giant mailbag full of letters that Willi wants turned into confetti. He also insinuates that Willi and Betty are lot more alike than he thought, which leads to a disturbing fantasy sequence with Betty as Wilhelmini-Me.

While going through the letters in the mailbag, Betty discovers that they're all positive letters for Daniel, written by subscribers. Willi had all of the positive letters hidden away before Alexis could see them, and Betty pleads with Daniel to show them to her, to prove to her how capable he was when he was at Mode. He thanks her, but says it won't do any good. Or will it?

Meanwhile, we get an odd scene with Christina and her loutish ex, Stuart. You may recall that she agreed to carry Willi's baby in exchange for money to help him because he was "sick", but she's found out that he's been doing drugs, and threatens to have him deported. He gets a slightly psychotic look in his eyes and storms out. This scene is a bit incongruous with the tone of the rest of the episode, so it's gotta be ... setting something up for later.

You think you're tougher than me? I worked for eight years with TONY DANZA!

Daniel sits Rafa down, and tells him about his grandparent's desire to get custody, and asks him what he wants to do. After contemplating going back to France and living with some old people, or staying in NYC and playing Guitar Hero to his heart's desire, he chooses the latter.

Hilda has been stood up by sweet cheeks, and when she calls him, learns that he's there with his wife, and realizes she really is "the other woman."

It's finally time for the Mode launch party, and Betty breaks the news to Willi that she's decided to go back to Daniel. She's about to leave when Claire convinces her to stick around for a while, because things are to get "very interesting".

Alexis and Daniel enter, and inform everyone that because the first day's sales figures are abysmal, Daniel will be returning to his position at Mode, and Willi will return to her post as "creative director". She's furious, and says "you can't push me aside", and Claire responds by tipping over the giant ice sculpture. Judith Light and Vanessa Williams should have scenes like this together more often, because the two of them cat fighting (cougar-fighting?) is a hoot and a half.

Betty confronts Marc and tells him that she knows he gave her all those letters on purpose, because he knew she'd take them to Daniel, and he admits to it. He wanted Betty out of the picture, and this was an easy way to get her back with Daniel.

The episode ends with a scene with Christina, and as I soon as I saw that she was alone in the building, I knew what was going to happen. Sure enough, as she makes her way to the edge of the stairs, mysterious hands reach out and push the pregnant woman down the steps. But who did it?

This episode was a sigh of relief for me. I thought it was a big improvement over the disjointed premiere, which tried to do too much in one episode. I love that Daniel and Betty are back at Mode (see ya, Player!), and Willi can stir the pot from afar. There still wasn't enough with the family, but maybe that'll change as Hilda's storyline gets more complicated.

And whodunnit? The obvious answer is Stuart, but could it be someone we weren't expecting? Hmm...

What did you think about this episode? Let us know in the comments, and come back next week for another recaplet.