"Ugly Betty" (3.15) recaplet: There's no place like Mode

This week's episode of Ugly Betty was a big improvement over last week, as Wilhelmina finally realizes her claws have been clipped, a "special delivery" "occurs" at a "fashion show", and for the first time, I present my very own AfterElton.com Adorkable Alert!

I'm a nerd. I have to accept that now. How do i know? This week's episode opens on a YETI meeting with a brief speech given by a "guest speaker" (that's actually how she's billed in the credits - "guest speaker"). I instantly recognized the voice as belonging to the same actress who played a holographic Cardassian in the seventh season episode of Star Trek Voyager called "Flesh & Blood" that aired in November of 2000.

I waited til the credits rolled, praying I was wrong. I wasn't wrong. It was the same actress. I'm a nerd.

Anyway ... Betty is enamored of the Cardassian guest speaker (who's throwing around important words like "Darfur" and "helicopter"), and Betty feels a bit embarrassed that she works at a shallow fashion magazine. She approaches the serious journalist for some advice, and is told that unless she changes something soon, she may be permanently stuck in the fashion genre.

YETI goddess Jodie (the always divine Bernadette Peters) instructs each student to partner up with someone, and Betty picks the girl who works for the "guest speaker" (because she says things like "gunfire" and "children"). Unfortunately, Jodie has a trick up her sleeve - after she tells everyone to sit next to their partners, she then orders them to turn the other way, and that person will actually be their new partner.

Betty turns around, and sees that her partner is OMG! ADORKABLE ALERT!

Her partner is Matt (Daniel Eric Gold), who's also known as "sports guy". Because she has zero interest in sports, Betty is understandably underwhelmed with her new partner, but Matt seems genuinely interested in what "fashion girl" does.

Unfortunately Betty is stuck with Matt for the entire year, which she is noticeably (and rudely) not happy about. She wants to break free from the confines of fashion, and asks Daniel for an assignment that isn't "fashion related" (which as he points out is probably not a good idea considering it's fashion week at a fashion magazine). He assigns her to write the press release for the hot up-n-coming designer Heinrich, which isn't what she had in mind, but she has to start someplace.

Matt has been hanging around Mode observing what Betty does, and he decides to tag along when she goes to meet the designer. She basically says, "okay, but you have to walk five paces behind me, you can't speak, and if I look at you, you cannot make eye contact."

They meet designer Heinrich, who obviously was devastated when Mike Myers canceled his planned Sprockets film.

Heinrich's "vision" seems to be "I know why the caged bird bleeds," as his dresses are made of shards of glass and barbed wire. Betty and Matt return to Mode, where she and some very pregnant woman ... oh wait, it's Christina, who looks ready to pop any second (but you would too if you were pregnant for about thirteen months). They make fun of the upcoming exhibit by writing a mock press release using words like "tetanus shot" and "pain". They make sure to repeat that the press release is just a joke, and for their eyes only, so what are the odds it'll end up in the wrong hands?

The next day Betty is appalled when she hears Suzuki St. Pierre announce the exhibit using words like "tetanus shot" and "pain", and realizes the wrong press release was sent out. Matt admits to giving the release to Daniel (he saw it on her desk and just wanted to help out), but it turns out that both Daniel and Heinrich loved how honest the release was, and they both want her to produce the upcoming exhibit.

She's flattered, but she has absolutely no idea what to do, and Heinrich doesn't help when he tells her to "listen to the clothes." Matt suggests she get away from fashion for a while to clear her mind, and offers to show her his sports world. She basically says, "oh please, sports is the suckiest bunch of suck that ever sucked, and only total losers would ever want to work in it." Somehow this offends Matt, who tells her, "you might think fashion is shallow, but from what I've seen, you fit right in," and tips over her candy dish.

Betty realizes how awful she's been acting, and becomes our Betty again. She apologizes to Matt and takes him up on his offer to spend time in the sports world ... which in this case is an NBA locker room.

As sweaty half naked men surround her, she tries to carry on a conversation with Matt, who tells her that he doesn't really like sports, but he got to know the players and came to appreciate what they do. He says "I found my way in by learning to make it personal," and Betty realizes that maybe she needs to try that if she wants to give fashion a chance.

Betty talks to Heinrich about her idea for the show, which involves words like "dead father on barbed wire" and "building giant wings and escaping" and "Berlin Wall", and I kept waiting for Heinrich to start singing about his "angry inch."

Meanwhile, Willi is floundering. Inexplicable things are happening ... she's being pushed back to the second row at fashion shows, she's not getting free outfits, and the greatest indignity of them all: her interview with Suzuki has been pre-empted with breaking news ... about this:

She realizes that her relationship with Connor has come between her and her ambition, and feels her power slipping away.

Daniel and Molly yadda, yadda, yadda. She gets razzed on the red carpet, so he gives her a makeover to make her look like Judy Landers circa Madame's Place.

She thanks him by getting an abortion. At least, I think that's what happened. She tearfully talks to him on the phone as she's sitting on a table in a doctor's office.

Elena is no longer Papi's nurse, but that doesn't stop them from playing doctor. (HA!) Hilda is none too pleased that the two of them are cuddling on the couch and generally acting like the kind of couple everyone hates, and she continues to give Elena the cold shoulder.

Justin (who looks like he's grown half a foot since the start of the season) decides to make the ultimate sacrifice, and gives his ticket to the big show to Elena, and she and Hilda end up bonding over their love of stirrup pants and spandex. They come to an agreement, that Elena and Papi will try to refrain from acting like a horny teenage couple in the house.

The big show begins, and Betty's vision is some kind of Barbarella meets Berlin Wall thing, with the bird dresses taking to the runway (and almost decapitating Isaac Mizrahi). Betty looks at them and realizes that fashion is just another form of art, and finally understands the ... Heinrich maneuvers (I'm sorry).

Personally, I think she's giving him way too much credit. It doesn't take that much imagination to rip off Hawk from Buck Rogers.

Christina is busy running around backstage hemming (dresses) and hawing, and when she keeps holding her stomach and breathing hard, Betty asks if she's going into labor. The good news is, she's not going into labor. The bad news, she's actually been in labor all day, and the baby wants to come out ... now!

Unfortunately, the exits backstage are blocked, which means they'll have to leave via the runway (which thrills Heinrich, who's all about "the pain"). As they make their way across the stage, Betty screams at Daniel to call an ambulance, but it's ... too late.

Christina is having her baby on the runway, and Elena jumps on stage to help out. Willi also runs up there, sensing an opportunity to get her name back on page one (oh, also because it's her baby). As the models spread their wings to give Christina some privacy, she gives birth, as Marc gives instructions to the control booth like "cue the hydraulic lift" and "cue the landmine."

Soon a baby's cries are heard, as Willi emerges from the rubble triumphantly holding the newborn, in a shot that disturbingly reminded me of the finale of Satan's Alley (my undying love to whoever gets that reference).

The episode ends with Daniel telling Betty, "you have a way with people" and Betty saying, "it took me a while, but I understand fashion now," etc.

But best of all, Betty thanks Matt for his help, and he admits that the reason he wanted to be paired up with her had nothing to do with fashion ... he just wanted to get to know her better. Awww! And once again, I have to say Adorkable Alert!

So ... this episode was a big improvement over last week. We met Betty's possible new love interest, Willi has her baby (which hopefully will open up lots of interesting story angles not only for her, but Marc as well), and the thing with Molly and Daniel looks like it's nearing the end of the road.

Overall, i'm giving it a seven out ten. The birth was just as over-the-top as I expected it to be (although I was bitterly disappointed that not a single person shouted "push!"), and Matt is a welcome adddition. What did you think?