Tim Macavoy's "Brit Bits:" Camptastic Fun with Eurovision, and Jonathan Harvey’s "Canary."

Oh Eurovision, why must you only be once a year? If you’re not that familiar with it, then in a nutshell it’s an excuse for gay men to have house parties and laugh at bad European music.

Approximately 120 million people tuned in to see Norway host the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest, where this year Germany took the title.

Germany doesn’t usually do very well in the scoring, but this year they blatantly cheated by taking it seriously. They put a quirky singer named Lena up for the title and she half-spoke, half-sang a love song in a strange accent à la Bjork/Lily Allen.

Also weighing in Germany's favor, they’ve been supporting the European economy, whereas the UK closed their eyes and put their collective fingers in their ears – and came last as a result. It didn’t help that we were represented with a song by Pete Waterman, the man responsible for early Kylie. Great material in 1989 when I was seven – a little dubious now.

Josh Dubovie performed UK’s Eurovision entry

The campest act of the competition had to be Lithuania with "Eastern European Funk," a pseudo political party song that resulted in the performers, aging boyband InCulto ripping off their trousers to reveal sparkly silver shorts. Unfortunately they never made it past the semi-finals, and the camp factor was brought only by over-weight middle-aged homosocialites, and androgynous singer Milan Stankovic from Serbia.

InCulto (left) and Milan Stankovic

Graham Norton was in fine form commentating for the UK. He even made an appearance in the main program as he was interviewed by the Norwegian host, which meant we got Graham in stereo, commentating on his commentating, with typical self-deprecation.

The Eurovision hosts are usually cringeworthy, but Norway’s representatives were actually really good. Particularly the cute male presenter Erik Solbakken who managed a masterful transition where he changed costumes and handled about 50 props in one minute. He frequently dressed up in the costumes of the other performers too, and the producers put together a clip show of the last place travesties of the last 54 years. Well done, Norway.

So I hear Will Young has been making waves stateside, and enjoying them on Laguna beach too.  The singer’s 2003 single Leave Right Now has been used in montage clips at the end of American Idol, so he recently appeared on the show to sing it live. Good for him if he becomes popular over there, but steal him away from the UK and I will hunt you all down personally.

Will was talking recently to the UK daily paper Metro about a new film role where he appears naked. He said: “I hope people will focus on my acting, rather than how supple my behind is, as I put a lot into it.” Oh Will, you genius.

Will Young