Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (February 23, 2007)

WHAT'S CANADIAN FOR FATWA?
So far this year I've been yelled at by rabid, loony Diana Ross fans and called even worse names by those who didn't care for my take on the Isaiah Washington situation. Well, those were nothing compared to the fury unleashed by my comments last week about C.R.A.Z.Y., Canada's most beloved film since Strange Brew.

Just to prove to you how nasty and hard-hitting Canadian's can be, I feel compelled to reprint excerpts from some of the hate mail I received.

“Michael, Michael, Michael. C.R.A.Z.Y. is a wonderful film. Give it a chance.”

Ouch!

“I was surprised at the passing reference and, nay, the negative attention directed at the wonderful French-Canadian film "C.R.A.Z.Y." As Canada 's top-grossing domestic film of last year, winning a whopping 11 Genie Awards (the Canadian Oscars) including Best Picture, I would have expected a little more enthusiasm.”

Vicious! And not exactly an articulate bunch up there, are they?

I know that the film is subtitled and is a bit slow-moving…but I promise if you give it another chance you will totally fall in love with Marc-André Grondin…By the way, I enjoy reading you on 365gay.com.

Stop, stop! I can't take such verbal abuse!

Well, after that tongue-lashing and out of respect to our Canadian readers, I felt duty-bound to give C.R.A.Z.Y. a second chance. I am so glad I did because now I can say unequivocally that this movie S.U.C.K.S! Sorry, Canada, but that's my reaction no matter how many Genies it won. See, I like a little thing in my movies called a P.L.O.T, something that was sorely lacking here. I mean stuff just happens in this movie and then some more stuff and then something else, all for no apparent reason, and most of it not doing a darn thing to move ahead what little of the plot that did exist.

And I pretty much hated everyone in the movie. The father was horrible, Grondin's brothers even worse. Even Grondin, while pretty enough to look at, was a very passive, boring character. The mom was all right, but haven't we seen this story a million times before anyway? Gay boy is different as a child, misunderstood by father, picked on by brothers, loved by mother, doesn't want to admit he's gay, strings along a girl, lusts after other guys, blah, blah, blah. It's just my opinion and it's all subjective anyway. Nonetheless, I'm right and everyone in Canada is wrong.

I suppose I'm in for it now. Some Canadian is probably going to fly down here and glare at me until I collapse into a quivering mess!

MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD WHACK JIMMY KIMMEL WITH AN AX
Jimmy Kimmel recently did that funny parody of the Snickers ad which nicely poked fun at homophobia. Unfortunately, Wednesday night he reverted to 5th grade boy behavior while interviewing Rebecca Romijn who plays a transgendered character on Ugly Betty. Kimmel mocked transgendered men and women by showing photos of various transsexuals like Rene Richards. At one point he holds up a photo of Rene and says, “This is a famous one, Rene Richards. Perhaps the most feminine of the group I'm about to show.”

Nice. Real nice. Then he holds up a picture of Amanda LePore and some other folks as well. Kimmel then wants to know how the producers of Ugly Betty made the leap from the people he just mocked to someone as feminine as Romijn.

What a twit.

The audience didn't react much and Romijn seems rather uncomfortable as she tries to explain that many transsexuals are very feminine (like being unfeminine makes it okay to mock you). Obviously she was put on the spot and trying to do her best.

Later Kimmel reads from a book which he finishes up by joking about someone learning a transgendered person has a penis and reacting by hitting them with an ax. Perhaps Gwen Araujuo's mom should pay Kimmel a visit. Kimmel should be embarrassed talking about transgender issues this way. It's exactly where gay people were thirty years ago and I hope GLAAD and the HRC let him hear about it.