Game Bois And Joysticks: The Gay Protagonists of "Valet Hustle". Plus, with "Heroes" Sword Size Matters

Editor's note: Today we are introducing a new monthly gaming column. 

With all the negative hoopla surrounding BioWare’s forum censorship of gay sexuality, gaming news has been grim of late. Fortunately, a February release offers some positive news for gay gamers.

Charming its way into the hearts of iPhone and iTouch gaymers everywhere is Valet Hustle. This parking mini-game is standard fare to be sure, but what sets it apart is the positive representation of gay men and women.

The protagonists of Valet Hustle are Ren and Akira, a gay man and lesbian who attend a prep school by day, but by night are condemned to park cars in their wealthy parent’s various parking lots.

In this fast paced game you park cars “Tetris-style” while you live out the story of either Ren or Akira according to your preference. As you progress through the parking levels, the story of your chosen character unfolds in 3-D animated cut scenes.


The scenes show both kids interacting with their love interests and present a modern take on gay relationships with a hip style. The puzzle action looks tight and the comic/cell style of animation is fresh and sexy. My only complaint is that something about the cut scenes inspires thoughts of cheaply made 90’s TV. This is only a small grievance, however, considering the positive gay representation in this addictive puzzler. You will also like the 99-cent price tag.

Kudos to Factory Games Inc. for their courage and responsiveness to the gay gaming community in creating Valet Hustle.  Lets hope that other companies follow suit.

Moving from parking to massive swords, we have the joyfully phallic 3-D Dot game Heroes coming this May. This game takes place in a land called Dotnia, which has forgotten its mythical and heroic past. It is your job to return Dotnia to its former glory by doing battle with a sword.

The gimmick here is that the healthier you are, the longer and more powerful your sword can become. Your weapon can be customized to increase girth and, if used successfully, will grow to a tremendous size and strength. Of course, your "sword" is really just a metaphor for something else, but this is hardly the first time someone has had fun with the phallic nature of many weapons.

Thanks to Silicon Studios, we will be extending our swords sometime this May in this Playstation 3 exclusive.