Straight Guys in Love!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR! BETWEEN ALL THE STRAIGHT GUYS!
While the concept of the "bromance" is nothing new — the term was coined back in the late 90s — observing the popular culture the past couple of weeks, I can't help but feel something has changed when it comes to straight guys expressing their affection for each other. Yes, I know gay guys can be in bromances, both with other gay guys and straight guys, but that's not what I'm addressing here. And, yes, I know there have been touching examples before, but something does seem different.

What exactly? I'd say it's not just how commonplace they've become, but the depth of feeling which these straight guys are now expressing for each other. What, in my opinion, was often kind of a jokey thing in the past, (or a little bit of wishful thinking on the part of fans — see Hawaii Five-0) has now become something that is often heartfelt and even touching.

What first got me thinking about this was the recent reunion episode of Top Chef: All Stars. If you're a fan of the show, then you're probably already aware that this season had two bromances going on, one between Richard Blais and Fabio Viviani, and the other between Mikey Isabella and Angelo Sosa.

Both Richard and Mikey made it to the finale with Richard eventually winning. But it was the during the reunion episode, as all four guys talked about their relationships with each other, that things got truly interesting.

Mikey and Angelo's "bromance" was a little more traditional, in that it seemed to be as much about how metrosexual Angelo is, and how almost any man couldn't help notice his "hotness," and the tone was rather humorous. But as Richard and Fabio discussed their feelings about each other, it became very clear they really cared about each other.

Both talked about what their relationship meant to each, with Richard also taking about discussing Fabio with his wife, and then they showed clips of Fabio being physically affectionate with Richard, including kissing him several times. Frankly, it was quite touching. (And in my book there are few things more attractive in a straight guy than his being comfortable in expressing affection with another man.)

All in all, it was a terrific example of how heterosexual men can be friends far beyond the usual, "How about them Yankees?" depth of intimacy.

And speaking of straight guys kissing, the issue also showed up in a very unexpected place this week — namely last Sunday's American Dad. In the episode, friends Steve and Snot have a falling out at school as Steve seeks to become popular and forgets his lifelong friendship with Snot. Or course, they manage to work things out by episode's end, which leads to the usual reconciliation scene as they promise never to quarrel again. Well, it isn't quite your typical reconciliation:

Two guy friends sharing a kiss that meant nothing sexual at all? Are we suddenly European or something?

A wise person once told me that if you want to know where a culture stands on social issues, the place to gauge that isn't really in what could be called "high brow" culture (think ballet, theater, and literary novels), but rather by examining lowbrow culture — like genre fiction, comic books, and, of course, cartoons. If that's true, then having two straight teenage boys kiss like this on a show like American Dad without showing any gay panic of any kind tells me we are further along the road to true tolerance than I would've expected.(Hattip to AE reader Jacob P.)

And while bromances have nothing to do with sex, I found this week's Outsourced also reflected how things are changing for men in pop culture.. As straight guys get more comfortable with their feelings, and even expressing physical affection with each other, I suspect it will allow to them acknowledge what pretty much every gay guy, bi guy and most every woman already know — that few of us are either 100% straight or gay, and it's okay to entertain the occasional sexual thought about another guy.

And that exact thing happens in this clip from Outsourced.

Again, how great it is that Charlie not only isn't freaked out by his fantasy, but even calls it "beautiful."

Lastly, this week also saw the finale of the U.S version of Being Human (which frankly I liked a lot better than the UK version) and it included my final example of just where we're at in terms of straight men's relationships with each other. In the episode, Aidan (Sam Witwer) is badly injured by Bishop (Mark Pellegrino) and, in fact, it looks like he might die, something that leaves Josh (Sam Huntington) absolutely devastated.

Sam Huntington and Sam Witwer

Up to this point in the show, Aidan and Josh had had a pretty typical show bromance. They were best friends and clearly cared for each other, but in this episode, as Josh raced to figure out a way to save Aidan's life, he also took the time to tell his friend just how much he meant to him. I was particularly struck by how physical they were with each other, holding hands, and touching each other.

Watching these two men not hesitate at all to show how much they cared for each other made me realize that maybe the term "bromance" is no longer adequate to describe these sorts of relationships. At least not for me, as "bromance" still implies a level of ... frivolity, I guess. What we saw with Aidan and Josh, were two heterosexual men who deeply and profoundly loved each other in a way that wasn't the least sexual, yet was incredibly intimate.

They were just two people — two human beings, if you will — who truly love each other. I think it was wonderful and remarkable.

I suppose it goes without saying as to why this matters to us gay and bi guys, but I'll say it anyway. If we can truly reach a point in society where two straight men can acknowledge their love for each other, even expressing that love with some kind of physical demonstration, and maybe even admit they can find another guy hot, then I think homophobia will be just about dead for good and Maggie Gallagher can just slink back under her rock.

Next page! I "discover" new pics from next week's 90210!