IMHO "Merlin" (1-5): Introducing Lancelot's Hairy Chest!

A familiar faced showed up on last night's episode of Merlin, and it came accompanied by a very attractively hairy chest.

Lancelot!

Of course, in the Smallville-like world of Merlin, he is not yet a knight of the Round Table. Lancelot of the Hairy Chest shows up in Camelot, saving Merlin's life from a vicious griffin. In thanks, Merlin promises to help him become a knight.

There's just one problem: to be a knight in Camelot, you have to be "of noble blood," and Lancelot of the Hairy Chest (played by Heroes' extremely hunky Santiago Cabrera) is a commoner.

Details, details!

Merlin creates a "fake I.D." for Hairy Chext and gets him a shot at knighthood, and I'm thinking to myself, "If Lancelot is exposed as a commoner, then proves himself 'worthy' of being a knight by killing that griffin we saw at the beginning of the episode, I may never watch this show again."

Fortunately, the show is a lot smarter than I was giving it credit for!

With great reluctance — after all, knights aren't supposed to lie and cheat — Lancelot of the Hairy Chest goes along with Merlin's lie. Eventually, he is exposed, just like Barbra Streisand in Yentl (except without the soul-bearing musical number: "For tooooo many morn-ings, the curtains were drawn...!").

Lancelot gets magical Viagra from Merlin

Lancelot also goes on to kill the griffin. Sort of. Actually it's Merlin who kills the griffin (because it can only be killed by magic), though he makes it look like Lancelot of the Hairy Chest did it.

The act of killing the griffin is almost enough to get Arthur to convince King Uther to change the rules and allow Lancelot into the knights despite not being of noble blood. (Incidentally, has there ever been a king who gets talked-back-to more than Uther? He has all the authority of the guy who employed Fran Drescher in The Nanny.)

Anyway, now that Lancelot can possibly be a knight, he declines. He can't take credit for the killing of the griffin, because he didn't really do it. No more lying for him.

In other words, he proves he's worthy of being a knight — that he's truly of noble blood! — by refusing to become a knight.

Nice, huh?

Unfortunately, his bout of uncompromising principle means he has to go off and "find himself," presumably until the second season. Bah on that! Let's all fervently hope that his travels don't take him anywhere near the mythical Land of Razors and Body-Waxing.

What else did I like about this episode? Well, the scene of Gwen measuring Lance's inseam was, ahem, interesting, as was Merlin's question to her, "If you had to decide between Arthur and Lancelot, who would you pick?"

First, it's interesting that Merlin asks this (hoyay alert!). But even better is Gwen's casual answer: "But I don't have to [pick], and I never will."

Irony alert! Gwenevere's eventual ill-fated choice between Lancelot and Arthur is, of course, the stuff that destroys kingdoms like Camelot — and creates legends that endure for centuries.

Oh, and all you Brits? About that cheesy-looking griffin: you make great TV shows, but your CGI imaging skills are for s**t.

Let's all pity the poorly-funded U.K. CGI-programmers, shall we?