Liveblogging "Days of our Lives:" Graduation Day ... Of Terror!

Actually, Will's graduation will probably go off without a hitch, but this is Days of our Lives, so who knows? Join us for the fun starting at 1:00 PM EST!

Seriously, after seeing what this show has offered in the past, I'm hoping for a decapitated head in the punch bowl, or at least authentic finger sandwiches. But I have a feeling graduation will go smoothly. *sigh*.

If, like me, you're still a newbie to DOOL, be sure and check out our HANDY REFERENCE GUIDE (now updated!) to learn who's who in Salem.

1:05 PM EST: Will (wearing an ill-fitting jacket) and company file in to the pub and are greeted by Caroline, who has a graduation buffet awaiting them. No finger sandwiches, unfortunately.

Sami and Rafe enter, finally done with the Rafe/doppelganger ordeal. I'm disappointed it's not still going. I watched clips from a few weeks ago, and it was crazy-wonderful stuff, with Sami being thrown down stairs, and the Rafe doppelganger seeing ghosts.

Sami and Rafe acknowledge their love for each other, blah, blah, blah, and as I'm getting the first good look at Sami since these liveblogs started, I think she would be quite intimidating to have as a mother. I can see her being a Texas cheerleader murdering mom, or the Melissa Leo character in The Fighter with a perpetual ciggy in her mouth, as she calls Will "doll" or "sugar."

We're going to start a running tally of how many times characters "TTT" (talk to themselves), and Jennifer gives us #1, as she tells her purse that she "can't do this," speaking about Carly. (i think referring to getting her drugs).

Carly is at the hospital, and on edge, and the One-A-Day she just swallowed isn't helping like it used to. Doctor Daniel is worried about her, but ... wait a minute. Is it usual for a doctor not to wear a shirt beneath his scrubs? Because it looks like to me that Daniel is going chestal commando.

Dario is being read the riot act by a perky cop with a blond flip. She tells him she's going to take him downtown unless he tells her what he knows about EJ's assault. Dario starts to pout ... oh wait, he always looks like that.

Ha! Brady spent the entire show last Friday wet and shirtless, and TPTB must know we're watching, because he still hasn't put a shirt on. Bo is there, and tells him that as much as he admires Brady for pummeling EJ, he may have to arrest him if enough evidence turns up.

Taylor tells Misty Circles that she knows who pummeled EJ ... it was ... Rafe! Oh Taylor. All those toxins from that cheap bangle jewelry must have seeped into your skin.

1:15 PM EST: Sami swears that EJ and the others are going to pay for what they did to Rafe, and they're going to pay "Sami Brady Style." She's going to force them to lose dangerous amounts of weight and stand on a giant scale and be publicly weighed.

Okay, Brady's chest and abdomen look CGI. It's flawless and looks sculpted from marble, then sun-roasted and rubbed on Donald Trump's face.

I'm starting to like Victor. He snaps at Brady, calls him "idiot," and tells him to shut the hell up.

Plaid Chad comes to the graduation party, and tells Will and company that he was just at the hospital tending to his brother (which gets a hilarious bitchy eye-roll from Will).

1:25 PM EST: Daniel and his fabulous hair tell Carly that they'll be there for her no matter what, and as she starts to mist over, Daniel's hair tendrill reaches out and gently wipes away the tears.

Plaid Chad tells Sami and Rafe that he thinks he know who pummeled EJ, but he's not saying because his family has enemies ... or something.

Jennifer tells Abby that she has to go to the hotel and get a sample of the pixie stick residue that Carly left on the floor.

1:35 PM EST: Back at graduation, the kids are opening presents. Gabi gets a gold necklace, whatserface gets a new camera, and Will gets a handwritten card from little Johnny. Will starts to mist over when one of Daniel's hair tendrils comes in the door and wipes away the tears.

1:45 PM EST Melanie is able to convince blond flip cop that Dario was with her, and therefore could not have pummeled EJ.

Rafe tells Sami that Bo wants to see them at the station, so they blow off the party. That allows T to ask Will, "Now that we're going to college together, and we're best buds, let's get an apartment and be roomies!" Will is flustered, and says "um .. um .. hummana, hummana," and when he sees how disappointed T is, says "sure, we'll talk about it more later."

Jennifer sneaks into Carly's room and scrapes the "aspirin" residue into a baggie. and we get TTT #2!

Bo and Hope have come up with a plan to prove that EJ and Stefano switched Rafe with their own despicable impostor. The plan is to let EJ believe that Rafe tried to kill him. Rafe almost does a spit-take.

Rafe agrees to it, but Sami doesn't look too happy.

Will tells Gabi that he's nervous about college, and all of the responsibilities. He doesn't know if he's ready to "face his new life."

Preview Time - The graduation party continues, and Sonny may show up!