Morning Meme: Aston Kutcher Is Broken-Hearted, "J. Edgar" Gets a Prime Date and We Discuss Sexy Nerds

We still don't know how Charlie Harper will exit Two and a Half Men, or how Ashton Kutcher enters the show, but we do know Ashton is playing Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted Internet billionaire.

A public school board in Missouri has voted to ban novels such as Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five that they deem "contrary to the Bible." I keep alternating being amused by the audacity of the move that can't possibly stand up to a lawsuit and totally horrified that they feel they can do this.

Michael Patrick King says that his new show Two Broke Girls isn't just Sex and the City on a budget, which is good, because he finally admits that there was no possible way the women in Sex and the City could exist in Manhattan.

Fox News says that Spongebob is pushing a global warming agenda on children (and using government money to do something a chunk of the population disagrees with – irony!) when the science is still very much in doubt. I thought Spongebob was pushing a gay agenda. Did I miss a memo?

In what can only be a sign on the End Times, Katy Perry has a real shot at smashing Michael Jackson's record for the most #1 singles from an album.

Alec Baldwin is set to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live for the record 16th time. At some point, doesn't SNL feel like a rerun anyhow, even when it's new?

A new study finds that 92% of former Speaker Newt Gingrich's Twitter followers aren't' actual people, just bots and companies, many paid to follow him.

Laurence Fishburne is set to play Perry White in the Man of Steel reboot with Henry Cavill.

Sao Paulo is just a mayoral signature away from hosting the world's first Straight Pride. While it's easily argued that every day is Straight Pride, I can think of no other city in the world it's more true of than Sao Paulo. I spent a couple of weeks down there, and the inhabitants just ooze sex appeal - male, female, gay or straight. They didn't walk, they strutted. I never did figure out when they slept. They dined at midnight, danced until 5 am, and headed back to work by 8am. Every trip left me exhausted, even with the hotel waking me up with hot chocolate.

The new drama Revenge has announced the addition of hunky Robbie Amell to the cast as part of a love triangle that includes a girl and Connor Paolo (Eric on Gossip Girl). I suppose it's too much to hope that he's bi and in a triangle with the other two?

Lady Gaga has spent a lot of time with Terry Richardson for her new photobook, and now comes the news that she did some pictures while peeing into a cup as Terry cheered her on, snapping away.

It turns out a significant portion of the populace love sex for the fun of sex, and is completely fine without an orgasm. And some of them aren't even high!

While it's unlikely they can get visas or would even bother to show up, the Westboro Baptist Church's latest cry for publicity is to announce they intend to picket the funerals in Norway for the victims of the terrorist.

I first learned of Q ratings from Murphy Brown, but it's basically how Hollywood measures likability of their talent. And this year's most likable celebrity on television is NCIS's Pauley Perrette. We were fairly fond of her as well.

Warner Bros. must like what it has in J. Edgar with Leonardo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer, because it's set a limited release for November 9th, which is prime Oscar voter real estate.

Gawker would have us believe that the Catholic Church in South Florida is run by a secret gay cabal. If so, I wasted my years living down there.

This chart about arguing on the Internet is nearly perfect, except it's missing one rule: the first person to invoke Hitler/Nazis loses by default.

Head over to Towleroad for steamy pictures of Danny Roberts (The Real World) and Darryl Stephens (Noah's Arc) from an as-yet-untitled series. You might want to take a towel.

A third Snow White film is in development, this time at Disney. It will focus on her seven warrior protectors. Can't a man get some singing woodland creatures somewhere?

Since MTV won't pay to license music videos for Beavis & Butthead to mock, and mocking Jersey Shore all the time would be too easy, movies are going to be a staple of the duo, starting with The Human Centipede.

Editor's Note: Do you enjoy the Meme but sometimes forget to check for new editions? AfterElton has started a weekly newsletter with links to the week's biggest gay pop culture stories. Check it out! (You can unsubscribe at any time.)
	enter email address