Morning Meme: Chris Evans' Guilty Looks, Jennifer Aniston is Back On the Small Screen, and Kelly Cutrone Returns To MTV

Plus The Situation on Dancing With the Stars, Captain Hammer wants to host Saturday Night Live, and Pee-Wee rides again!

E! talked spoilers about Brothers & Sisters, Glee, and Modern Family and didn’t manage to mention a single character we cover on this website. In fact, it’s been that way with all the spoiler people, and I’m either excited or concerned because of it.

Some has-been singer who used to be part of an iconic band is working with the male half of the Eurythmics on her new album. I’m sure it won’t amount to anything.

Christian activists barged into a quiet residential Toronto neighborhood to preach from the Bible in front of a gay couple’s home. They did this for seven years, until the neighbors had enough and came together as a group to politely ask them to leave. The activists were not pleased.

The world is running out of helium, and this is a bad thing. This is evidently the United States Congress’ fault and yet another symptom of American excess. If the government would quit dumping helium on the open market and let the market equalize, a single helium balloon in the flowers you sent your mother would cost $100.

Michael Ian Black completely lost his temper on an audience member during a stand up routine in Columbus, OH. When he mentioned President Obama, the audience member shouted “Heil Hitler” and it was more than Black could take. He’s sorry about how he handled it. You should read it in his own words, but  beware, many of them are four letters and start with “F.”

Well, I’m never buying Brawny paper towels again. It might be harder to give up Lycra.

Last year a group of living people dressed up like zombies to protest “mindless consumerism” while carrying a radio that police mistook for a bomb, and were arrested and jailed for two days. Yesterday they got a check from the city of Minneapolis for $165,000 for violating their Constitutional rights.

Jennifer Aniston will appear on the season premiere of Courtney Cox’s Cougar Town as Courtney’s long-time therapist, setting up potential for later visits. Considering her weekend box office, this may be a good thing – I love Aniston, but she doesn’t seem to be a movie star.

We all know that networks require changes to shows – that’s why Standards and Practices exists.  But they’re not heard from as frequently on commercials. But the notes they sent the studio on the commercial for Pirahna 3D are hysterical, with timestamped issues with thongs, nipples, and grinding.

Speaking of Piranha 3D, the $10 million it opened to doesn’t sound like much, but it’s good enough for a sequel. I didn’t see the film to know how it ends, but I’m not used to monsters surviving the end of a monster movie, so I’ve got no idea how a sequel works.

Kell On Earth may not have a future on Bravo, but reports are that Kelly Cutrone has a new gig at MTV where she got her start. Is she going to take her main gay Andrew with her?

AE Reader Neil sent me this gallery of why you shouldn’t mess with nature. Nature – you scary!

If you live in Philadelphia and have a blog that has ever made any money, even just the couple pennies from AdSense, you owe the city $300 for a business license, plus wage taxes and other fees. I know people with sites on Blogger that make a nickel a year from AdSense that would owe the city hundreds of dollars if they lived there. Bad governance, Philly. 

The cast of Dancing With the Stars won’t be formally announced until Monday after the free clinic Bachelor Pad, but everyone is saying Jersey Shore’s The Situation is on this season. I think he’s doing it for the free spray tan contestants get every week. 

Burger King is launching a new sandwich with four quarter-pound patties on a nine-and-a-half inch bun with mozzarella cheese and pesto mayo, called the NY Pizza Burger. Call you cardiologist before ordering.

There are multiple Facebook groups trying to get Nathan Fillion to host Saturday Night Live. I totally support Captain Hammer getting the gig, but I’m fairly certain this trick only works once.