Morning Meme: James Preston Plays James Dean, Billy Crystal Is a Grandpa, and Shia LaBeouf Is Bankable

Plus, Jimmy Fallon's best Emmy bits not cleared, Cassidy Haley wears short-shorts, and when Cheeks met Buck.

Shia LaBeouf is the best value in Hollywood, with his pictures earning $81 for every dollar they pay him in salary. I’m not sure if that means he’s a bankable star, or a cheap date.

Sony has been putting billboards all over the country that say “Still a Virgin?” with an 800 number. If you call, you get a recording with the stars from The Virginity Hit. Cue the outrage from politicians, radio hosts, and churches.

High speed photography fascinates me – a drop of water, a bullet speeding along, really anything. But if you take a picture of a bullet shattering a drop of water, I’m hooked.

I’m less fascinated that Billy Crystal has called in his old screenwriter from City Slickers to clean up the script for Us & Them than I am at the fact that Billy Crystal is now playing grandfathers in movies.

Wonkette the best NSFW Craigslist ads for Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally for attendees seeking covert gay sex in Porta-Potties in the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial. What – you’re surprised?

I’ve pretty much had it with Salon.com. Last week they tainted a dad’s story about his son’s desire to dress up as Snow White with an inflammatory headline I fell for. This week they go with “Why Does My Son Keep Coming Out To Me: My 16-year-old tells me he's gay. Is it the truth, or a side effect of his recent brain injury?” The story itself is touching, but it has nothing to do with what the headline implies about a brain injury affecting his orientation. The editors who write the headlines/teases should be ashamed of themselves.

Tesla Motors just paid an EPA fine for $275,000 for failing to have an Emissions Certificate of Conformity. Tesla vehicles are pure electric and don’t even have a tailpipe, so I can’t see why they would think they needed to certify emissions they don’t have.

If you have an ear worm, clicking this link will start playing a random counter-song to help remove it using “the latest techniques in reverse-auditory-melodic-unstickification technology.”

We all know that Alexander Skarsgård doesn’t wear a modesty sock on True Blood, preferring to let things swing naturally. Well, now his costar Stephen Moyer has put his own sock up for auction for charity.

I use Foursquare for social check-ins, though living the life of a hermit in the sticks, it’s not quite as useful as it is to city people. But even I don’t check in everywhere – some things are private. Like getting tested for STDs, that’s private. Some do it, but not many advertise it. But MTV wants to remove the shame and their Get Yourself Tested campaign has a special Foursquare badge that unlocks for checking in at a testing clinic.

The Oval Office just got a taupe makeover. Seriously, this is about as dull as last night’s Presidential address.

If these 10 Geeky Swear Phrases existed, I’d totally use them. Well, not “Wheaton’s Clown Sweater” – that’s a bit much even for me.

Amusingly, the two best musical bits from the Emmy Awards, the Glee opener and the Sir Elton/Boyz II Men/Billie Joe Armstrong routines can’t be put online by NBC because they failed to clear the music rights. I hate copyright lawyers with a passion.

One primary difference between the United States and Europe is that here, we arrest  prostitutes pointlessly, while in Switzerland and Germany, they build municipal “sex boxes” to park in so the neighbors don’t have to watch.

Eddie Izzard is joining the cast of Showtime’s The United States of Tara as a skeptical therapist who rapidly comes around to believing in DID. I have so much trouble taking Izzard seriously without eye shadow.