Morning Meme: Matt Smith Does "Gay Times," Helen Mirren Gives Bruce Willis a Bath, and Who Said No to Weird Al?

Plus naughty Swedish puppets, we return to Dallas, and Studs Terkl gets oral with Story Corps.

The list of the Highest Paid Actors in Hollywood doesn’t include anyone from television, though with Charlie Sheen’s reported deal, that could change next year. Topping the list is Johnny Depp at $75 million, but the fact that second is Ben Stiller with $53 million just proves that life isn’t fair.

Tractor beams are becoming real. So far they only work on things that are microscopic, but one day soon I should be able to use one to pull Hugh Jackman to me.

The unthinkable has happened – Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. has given voice to the thought that one day, the New York Times will no longer be printed on paper. It just never seemed real until he said it.

A conservative group sued California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Attorney General Jerry Brown to force them to defend Prop 8 in court. The Supreme Court of California denied their suit without comment.

Glee’s Matthew Morrison has set a release for his solo album of February 2011. He had hoped to finish it over the summer break, but is now working on it weekends while shooting the show.

This is a complete recap of the first episode of Glee. It is SPOILERIFIC. Please keep spoilers out of the headlines on comments if you choose to discuss.

In one of the more stunning deals to be struck in Hollywood, Stephen King’s The Dark Tower will be developed into two features and two seasons of television simultaneously.  Ron Howard is directing, and Brian Grazer will produce.

I never knew that Weird Al took the time to get permission from the original artist to do a parody. Not only that, he honors their wishes if they say no. And here are 11 Artists Who Wouldn’t Give Weird Al Permission. Most are famously egotistical, but some haven’t sold nearly as many records as Weird Al has.

This list of pointless facts about Glee includes a whole section on Showmances, and takes time to call out the bisexual cheerleaders of Brittany and Santana, but nothing for Kurt. Chris Colfer may have his revenge, because he’s taking credit for the idea of the Rocky Horror episode. We’ve been focused on who would wear the gold lamé Speedo, but isn’t Frankenfurter’s corset and garter the more interesting question?

Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor made the rare move of injecting herself into the debate on the Iowa Supreme Court Justices that struck down the ban on gay marriage there. She also seemed to lament the entire gay marriage discussion, “as Iowa goes, so goes the nation, and I wish the rest of the nation would hurry up and go."

The Swedes are making an R-Rated, English language puppet movie called We R Animals. It’s being described as “comic adventure, filled with drug using cats, horny dogs, cat-ninja assassins, vampire bats, cruelty and magic.” I can’t wait.

January Jones as Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class looks like her Mad Men character going out on the town. Seriously – can the poor girl get some comfortable clothes at some point?

To help balance the Nevada budget, a candidate is proposing allowing people to buy a speeding pass, giving permission to drive 90mph without getting a ticket on the given day. He thinks he can raise $1 billion.

TNT has greenlit a pilot for a new Dallas. This one would focus on the offspring of J.R. and Bobby Ewing, “who clash over the future of the Ewing dynasty while the fate of Southfork itself weighs in the balance.”

And if you attend the University of Baltimore, you can now take a course in Zombie Studies.