Morning Meme:Chaz and Cher Make "National Enquirer," Conan Makes Kids Cry, and Robert Pattinson Won't Dress Up With Hugh Jackman

You guys did a fantastic job yesterday while I was being held hostage yesterday by kittens at my day job. But seriously, I was up 32 hours straight for work, and I'm still kind of wiped.  So good luck reading this.

I think it's pretty despicable that the National Enquirer (go figure!) is trying to manufacture drama that Cher can't stand seeing Chaz on Dancing With the Stars. They want us to believe that she never really accepted his transition and seeing him in public is killing her. I know she may have had her issues, but I see nothing but love now.

The CW gave full season orders to Hart of Dixie, which I'm not watching, and The Secret Circle, which I'm on the fence about.

Anti-gay former governor of Hawaii Linda Lingle has announced she's running for the vacant Senate seat in her state.

I haven't seen the premiere of Last Man Standing yet, so I don't have an opinion, but Vulture seems to think the show has some passive homophobia and sexism, which I can totally see in a show from a man who did Wild Hogs.

In a counter-programming move for men who hate romance, the new Die Hard movie is set to be released Valentine's Day 2013.

Want to see some hot wrestlers? How about hot, Ivy League-educated wrestlers supporting equality? Yeah, I thought I had you attention. Now we just need the FCKH8 folks to release a singlet.

In Illinois, the Catholic Charities of Peoria have decided to spin off their adoption services to allow them to continue serving children and families without violating their faith or anti-discrimination laws.  See how easy that was?

Teresa Giudice, Debbie Gibson, and Clay Aiken have joined the new season of Celebrity Apprentice. I pity the hairstylist for the show.

More bad news for News Corp. Hot on the heels of a (symbolic) recommendation by an investment firm that the board be replaced comes news they funneled money into Europe to fraudulently more than double their Wall Street Journal circulation numbers and bump up ad rates.

In news that I read very carefully, HIV survival has increased by more than 15 years in the last decade, to 46 years. Despite the fact that conservatives will imminently be saying that's the average age of death for gays, what it really says is that the average number of years after diagnosis to death is 46 years.

By any standard, the soundtrack for The Muppets is going to be epic, with original songs, classic rock and covers of modern songs like "Forget You" by Camilla and the Chickens.

I'm just going to warn you that this link is slightly NSFW. Alison Brie tweeted out images of her cleavage and Joel McHale's butt cleavage and invited people to guess which was which. A surprising percentage got it wrong. Brie says "It's awesome to know for a fact dudes are jerking to Joel McHale's ass by accident."

Break out the guncles, because Tori Spelling just gave birth to a baby girl.

California has banned the use of tanning beds by persons under the age of 18. In my area, tanning salons couldn't exist without teenagers preparing for prom, cheerleading, and senior trips. But I suppose if you stop it young, things like Snooki can't happen.

The signature drive to put repeal of SB 48 on the ballot in California has failed. If they can't scare people into voting down teaching about gay history to kids in schools, could we win on marriage now?

In Pinellas County, Florida, the same place that recently succumbed to Tea Party pressure to remove fluoride from the drinking water, the school board voted to end a grant to the Boy Scouts of America over their anti-gay policies. Locally, they're building a giant national Boy Scout retreat, and even have a big visitor center in the mall, and it turns my stomach to see the money flowing into a hate group.

Alex Pettyfer is evidently dating his Magic Mike costar Riley Keough, who is Elvis's granddaughter. Since she presumably seen pretty much all of him up front on set, she must have seen something that caught her attention.

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