Morning Meme: Adam Pally Channels Brett Ratner, Nick Jonas Plays Someone Unpure, and We've Got "Girl Panic"

Keeping it in the Disney family, and taking on a role that means he took his purity ring off at least once, Nick Jonas is set to show up on ABC's Last Man Standing as the dead-beat dad of Tim Allen's grandson. I don't care as long as he wears tight pants.

Here are 102 Things Not To Do If You Hate Taxes.

Mickey Rourke is slamming Marvel executives for screwing up Whiplash in Iron Man 2. Frankly, if you wait a few months, it seems guaranteed that Rourke with badmouth you after he appears in your film. Why does this guy have a career?

Pat Robertson, fresh off telling Republican presidential candidates to be less extreme, is out there calling gay marriage an "abomination."

Mimi Rogers has been tapped to play Ashton Kutcher's mom on Two and a Half Men, but I keep seeing pictures, and I can't get past how much she resembles Demi.

The Commitment Campaign is a bipartisan group working towards equality in a new way. In the past, equality has focused on "rights and benefits" rather than "love and commitment," which poll high and have a more positive emotional response with the populace.

I'm amused that Pitbull has gone on the offensive against Lindsay Lohan, who sued him over a line in a song referencing her legal woes. He's gone after the New York venue that the suit was filed in by noting all of her California woes, in detail.

There were elections all across the United States yesterday, and it was a great day for gay candidates, and progressive results. Best of all was the the critical margin Democrats won in Iowa, so marriage equality remains safe for now, despite huge money spent by NOM.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has named Ellen DeGeneres a Special Envoy for Global AIDS Awareness. Which Ellen will get right on as soon as she looks up what "envoy" means.

 Most people find fishing to be relaxing, but professional fishermen are the most likely to die at their jobs.

In a piece of irony that I'd forgotten about, Kim Kardashian is set to begin filming Tyler Perry's The Marriage Counselor next week.

I can't get over these images of endangered rhinos being air lifted by their feet to a new sanctuary.

Julie Taymor is suing Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark for "violating her creative rights" by continuing to use staging she created for the show after she "parted ways" with the production.

Gov. Rick Perry, blind to how Don't Ask, Don't Tell actually worked, says he would be "comfortable" reinstating the law if elected president.

Farewell to Heavy D, of Heavy D and the Boyz, who passed away yesterday at the young age of 44.

Kelly Ripa has signed a rich new five year deal to stay on Live with Kelly and ______ through 2016.

For the record, Justin Bieber did not leave the swanky MTV EMA after party and sneak into a gay bar to party alone. And stop relying on The Sun for news.

Today in unnecessary remakes, CBS plans to allow Chris Columbus to reboot The Rifleman. In what might be a bold move, the 101-year-old producer of the original series, Arthur Gardner, will serve as executive producer.

Over at Where Do Gaybies Come From, Jerry talks about the Five People You Meet As a Gay Dad. And if you missed it, be sure to check out the piece he wrote for us about Modern Family's gay dads.

Tom Bergeron deftly says what everyone else has been screaming for a while about the declining Dancing With the Stars, "You wonder if the cast isn't resonating with people." First, most of these people can't possibly be called stars.

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