Morning Meme: Brian Williams' Hard-Hitting Marcel the Snail Interview, "Glee"'s Michael Jackson Tribute, and "Rock of Ages" Is Out Of Tune

It's now official – Christopher Meloni has joined True Blood as an ancient vampire who holds Bill and Eric's fate in his hands. Whatever. As long as he gets naked.

Vodka infused gummi bears? Where have you been all of my life?

Daniel Hernandez, the out gay man who was credited with saving Congresswoman Gifford's life after the shooting, has taken his seat on the school board, now an elected official in his own right.

It's one thing to blow off counseling, community service, court dates and rehab, but now Lindsay Lohan has gone too far: she didn't show for the taping of The Ellen Show, which, by the way, was a contractual obligation for her Playboy spread.

The NTSB has recommended banning drivers from texting and operating cell phones, even with hands free devices. I think that ship has sailed, honestly.

It turns out that big feet don't mean big anything except shoes. Tall guys, however, are evidently packing. Did I mention I'm 6'3"?

According to the New York Post, when Derek Jeter entertains a lady at his home, he always calls for a car service to take her home. Upon entering the car, she finds a Derek Jeter gift basket including an autographed baseball.

Piefolk responds to hate mail in the best way possible. NSFW

It is possible to slide a piece of toast off the table and make it land butter side up, but you're going to have to be really careful about how you drop your toast. Which really flies in the face of the concept of "dropping." Unless you're dropping the soap. That can be an art form.

A year from now, local car dealership commercials will no longer interrupt my naps. Why it takes a year to put the regulations into effect, I have no idea. I'm old, I need my naps!

Gary Busey has endorsed Newt Gingrich. Goodnight folks!

Without a trace of irony, a Westboro Baptist Church asshat showed up at a protest wearing a Glee shirt.

The new executive at E! envisions as many as four additional Kardashian spinoff shows.

Katie Couric has split from her 17-year younger boyfriend. Here's to hoping she finds a 25-year-younger replacement. Get it, girl!

"I fought for my country, I did my thing, and I think that my spouse should be entitled to the same entitlements as if I was married to a woman. What the hell is the difference? I was definitely offended. He doesn’t even open the door to a conversation." - New Hampshire resident Bob Garon

Hey, Richard Hatch is out of jail again. Well, he was when I went to press with this. Who knows by the time you read it.

Another reason to not keep cats around: seal pups will let themselves in through the cat door and take up residence on your couch. Though a seal pup is a definite upgrade over a house cat.

Lots of details about the song list for the Glee Michael Jackson tribute episode are out, and it looks like it will span Jackson's entire songbook. But having Blaine sing "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin" is both obvious and inspired with the return of Sebastian.