Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family is director Susan Kaplan’s new feature-length documentary about a two-man, one-woman relationship. Three of Hearts was also produced by Kaplan, along with her husband David Friedson. Together they formed their production company Hibiscus Films, as their website says, “to bring to the screen compelling real life stories that move the viewer to take action personally and/or for the good of the world”. Shot in New York City over a period of 8 years, Kaplan’s fascinating documentary on the domestic adventures of a marital threesome was made using film instead of video.

“The video cameras back then (filming began in the 1990’s) were not as sophisticated as they are today,” she points out, “and I did not want to cheapen their story or make viewers feel they were watching a TV sitcom.”

As Three of Hearts begins, we meet homosexual lovers Sam Cagnina and Steven Margolin, who have been together for 7 years. They tell how at some point in those 7 years they decided to look for a woman to inject into their life partnership. They go on to divulge how they interviewed and, for lack of a better term, test-drove several different female candidates before finally finding one that both of them liked enough to marry.

The gay lovers’ various intellectual justifications as to why they want to acquire a female third seem vague. To this viewer’s gaydar they lack genuine romantic verve and clear sexual motivation. Yet the two men persist.

Perhaps both gay men have some bisexual inclinations. Perhaps having a traditional hetero type marriage is somehow important to them. Perhaps both men desire to sire children (from the same woman?). Perhaps all the above are true.

Sam and Steven eventually decide on Samantha Singh, who they concur fits all the requirements for them to “fall in love” with. We meet pretty Samantha, a Toronto expatriate struggling as an actress in New York City. She agrees to live in a “trio” relationship. She even sincerely falls in love with both her queer husbands.

The film goes on to depict how the threesome negotiates its living arrangements, embarks on parenthood and launches a successful NYC chiropractic “family” business.

I listened to the trio’s own explanations of their unusual liaison and watched all their happy tri-nogamous family goings-on with a kind of bemused, removed ambivalence.  Being a “live and let live” kind of guy, I figure if two obviously gay men want to have a go at a hetero threesome marriage with a straight woman (regardless of whatever mind-games are beneath it all), God bless them. 

However, as a gay adult who’s been around the block a few times myself in matters of long term relationships, and who proudly retains his “doubting Thomas” right to critical thinking, I also sat back and waited for the other foot to fall--which in Three of Hearts, it inevitably does.

After explaining the basic premise of how it’s daring “post-modern” family came to be, Three of Hearts continues to document Sam, Samantha and Steven for a few years more as they face many of the same issues traditional married couples face. Their baby Siena is born. Their family business grows.

At this point in the film, one can detect some slight changes in the trio’s family dynamic.

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