Review: Keeping up with "The Joneses"? Don't Bother, They're Fake

First, it must be said: Demi Moore is apparently bathing in the blood of virgins. At age 47, in a return to the movie limelight, she looks amazing.

And the movie she's chosen for her latest "comeback" vehicle ain't bad either, although the ending really sucks (but more on that later).

Demi Moore is the matriarch of the Joneses, a seemingly perfect new family moving into a very upscale neighborhood. David Duchovny plays her just-as-perfect husband, and the breathtakingly handsome Ben Hollingsworth (last seen in the short-lived Ashton Kutcher-created TV series The Beautiful Life) plays the teenage son.

But the Joneses aren't exactly what they appear to be. In fact, they're not a family at all — they're a group of marketers hired to employ a certain lavish "lifestyle" and, in return, inspire their neighbors and "friends" to buy what they buy.

"You're not selling things," their mysterious supervisor, played by Lauren Hutton, tells them. "You're selling attitude. If people like you, they'll want what you have."

It's a brilliant central concept for a movie, and there are some genuinely funny bits. The teenage son's would-be girlfriend tells him, "You're not like the rest of these lame posers around here" — when, in fact, he's far more of a poser than anyone she'll ever meet.

Meanwhile, there's a hapless couple next door, played to perfection by Gary Cole and Glenne Headley, the latter of whom is ironically (and pathetically) trying to sell beauty products to her neighbors. These two are literally trying to keep up with the Joneses — which leads to most of the important movement in the plot.

And yes, the movie has a significant gay subplot (and is refreshingly gay-inclusive in other ways as well).

I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a satire of American consumerism. It's actually not that at all (although there's apparently some very tongue-in-cheek real product placement): it's a "dramedy" about what happens when a group of people who aren't a family are forced to live together as one.

Sure enough, before long, cracks appear in their seams: the "daughter" has a crush on "Dad" and soon beings an affair with one of the neighborhood husbands, while "Dad" is in love with "Mom," even though she has no feelings for him, her employee. Meanwhile, the son, who is being pressured to get a girlfriend so he's more attractive to his peers, has a simmering secret of his own.

There are two problems with the movie: first, after a strong start, it sometimes goes a little too "small." This is an outrageous premise that deserves some outrageous plot developments — not a just montages of David Duchovny showing off his new golf clubs.

But the biggest problem, by far, is the aforementioned horrible ending. After a very intriguing third-act set-up, the movie just sorta ... ends. There's a tacked-on "feel-good" sequence (in which Lauren Hutton says what will go down as one of the most ridiculous lines I've ever heard in any movie: "Steve, the offer still stands." If you see the movie, you'll know how stupid this is, in light of what has just transpired.)

I don't have a problem with the "feel good" ending per se — since this is a "family" dramedy, not a satire, it's probably the best kind of ending for this film. My problem is the anti-climatic, inorganic, tacked-on feel of this particular ending.

In fact, I'm convinced this isn't the original ending at all. I suspect there was once another ending, in which the Joneses (or Lauren Hutton) get their (deserved?) comeuppance. But perhaps that didn't "test" well, so the filmmakers came up with what we see here.

It's too bad, because the movie could've been something very much worth admiring — or at least much better than it is.