Review: "Sex and the City 2" Gives Us Fashion, Gays, and Liza (But Not Much Story)

Here's the thing: the fashion and the posh New York lifestyle was never what drew me to Sex and the City, the TV series. It was the great characters, the humor, and the clever (and underrated) storylines.

The new movie, Sex and the City 2, has the characters we all know and love, and (some of) the humor, but almost nothing in the way of story.

Instead, it's got lots and lots of clothes. And a trip to Abu Dhabi. And Liza Minnelli doing a very campy version of "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)."

In fact, it's got just about every gimmick under the (desert) sun. What it doesn't have much of is anything in the way of a plot we care about.

Ironically, despite all the spectacle and a two hour and twenty minute running time, the movie feels very, very slight. A half hour after seeing it, you probably won't remember much about it (unless you enjoy the Sex and the City franchise for the fashion, in which case you'll be talking for days).

What little story there is: Carrie is feeling dissatisfied in her marriage, Charlotte is dissatisfied with being a mother (and jealous of the hot new nanny), Miranda is dissatisfied at work, and Samantha is going through menopause.

Seriously, that's pretty much it. There's the start of a very interesting theme about Carrie and Big making up their own "rules" for marriage (like Stanford and Anthony, and all gay couples, do), but it doesn't go anywhere.

And a late-in-the-game two-scene appearance by Aidan (John Corbett), seems clearly manufactured to add dramatic tension.

In fact, everything about this movie feels pretty manufactured.

Still, there are a couple of delightful scenes (although — it must be said — even they seem manufactured to be "delightful").

One scene involves the four women single-handedly bringing feminism to the Middle East with a rousing karaoke rendition of "I Am Woman." Another — easily the best scene in the movie — involves Miranda getting Charlotte drunk and forcing her to finally admit that motherhood isn't quite the picture-perfect image she makes it out to be.

It's nice that the movie opens with a big, blowzy gay wedding between Stanford and Anthony — their wedding is a crazy-stereotype, but you can't help but think that this scene will definitely help normalize same-sex marriage for the hoards of women and teen girls who will be flocking to multiplexes this weekend.

Sadly, Liza's musical number at Anthony and Stanford's wedding doesn't really work — although it does have sort of a fascinating "train wreck" quality to to it. First, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" is now officially the most over-used song of 2009-2010. Second, it's just not what Liza does well. I actually wish she'd done a touching ballad — something that might have grounded the over-the-top gay wedding and made it all seem like less of a joke.

As for the movie's humor, much of it is laugh-out-loud funny, especially a very brief glimpse at all four women when Carrie first met them back in the 1980s. Yes, they can all still pull it off.

There are also some genuinely funny one-liners, as when Miranda spots Minnelli at the wedding and says, "It's a law of physics: any time there's this much gay energy in a room, Liza manifests."

And when Carrie is trapped in a hotel room between Charlotte's crying babies and Samantha crying out during sex, Big says, "I don't know which his worse," and Carrie responds drolly, "Samantha. At least the baby will tire eventually."

As always, it's great to see Carrie and company again, and for that reason, this movie is "review-proof."

But I can't help but think the filmmakers missed a real opportunity here. If SATC2 works at all, it's almost entirely as a result of the goodwill generated by the series (and the first movie, which, for all its faults, was far better than this).

I can't imagine this movie bringing the series a single new fan.

I've read that the point was just to do a campy glitz-fest as sort of an antidote to our dour economic times. That sounds good on paper, but (in my opinion) this is a radical revision of the series, which I always thought was far, far more than just eye-candy.

In any event, a franchise is like a shark: it has to move forward or it dies. I can't imagine what they were thinking, doing a whole movie that would have been insubstantial even for a 30-minute episode of the series.

At its best, Sex and the City, the series, had real heart. Sex and the City 2 just has lots of shoes.

Note: Weeks ago, I predicted a "surprise" cameo by Barbra Streisand, along with Liza. Alas, it is not to be.