Fighter Pilots vs. Foo Fighters: The Ultimate Battle of Homoeroticism

After taking home the Moonman Trophy for Best Rock Video at Sunday night's VMA Awards, The Foo Fighters dropped the video for their newest single, "Hot Buns."

Actually, the video isn't all they dropped. They also dropped their pants. And the soap in the shower. Yes, the "Hot Buns" video — which features the bands' members showering together at a truck stop — is one of the most overtly homoerotic (and just plain weird) things we've ever seen.

But is it homoerotic enough to win The Ultimate Battle of Homoeroticism? To win that trophy, "Hot Buns" is going to have to go five rounds with Top Gun's iconic volleyball scene.

Round One: Lyrics

Although "Hot Buns" features the barfaced phrases, "you're hot" and "give me your body," we are disinclined to believe the sincerity of the compliment and subsequent request. No one, however, can doubt the earnestness of 80s movie maestro Kenny Loggins' homoerotic hymn "Playin' With the Boys," in which he alludes to the "man against man" pleasure of "knock-knock-knockin' on wood." The Foo Fighters' bodies certainly worked, but did they work overtime? We think not.

Winner: Top Gun

Round Two: Body Language

The Foo Fighters are fond of the phrase "body language"; they croon it at least one badrillion times while in the truck stop shower. But it's not just the lyrics that do the talking. They writhe around nakedly, slap one another's arses nakedly, and one of them quite literally goes down nakedly. Maverick & Co. spend half of their volleyball "game" hugging and caressing one other, but they do so while — inexplicably — wearing jeans.

Winner: Foo Fighters

Round Three: Torsos

Each Top Gun torso is oiled to a uniformly glorious sheen. "Hot Buns" torsos are uniformly soaped down.

Winner: Tie.

Round Four: Symbolism

Top Gun's volleyball players all seem to be saying the same thing: "Playing with balls is fun, just as long as you keep yours out of my box." The Foo Fighters, on the other hand, seem to have no issues with personal space. "Hot Buns'" most overt symbolism features a shampoo bottle erupting.

Winner: Foo Fighters.

Round Five: Exit Strategy

The Foo Fighters drive away in their individual big rigs, while Maverick hops on his 1985 Kawasaki GPZ 900 Ninja to go meet his lady love, Kelly McGillis. Kelly McGillis who recently gay married her girlfriend, Melanie Leis. Which is to say, The Foo Fighters each take to the open road alone, while Maverick takes to the arms of his lesbian gal pal.

Winner: Top Gun.

And the The Ultimate Battle of Homoeroticism winner is — oh, dear! We've got a tie! Looks like you'll have to decide: Who are the most homoerotic fighters: Pilots or Foo?