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Homoguy563:HIV & meIn honor of world AIDS day and my pal JBE I thought I would dedicate my first new thread in over a month to the topic of HIV/AIDS.Where to begin?Somewhat recently GayTVluver started Dante's Cove - Bareback sex, a thread about the bareback sex on Dante's cove and the problem he had with it.I didn't think it was a big deal in the context of that show, but now I don't know.In retrospect i'm glad he was so passionate about it.The reason for this is i've been hearing about how young gay men, particularly in my and GayTV's age group(20-21), are becoming increasingly at risk. Some time back JBE said that when he reads the real jock profiles where it asks if you practice safe sex he was surprised to see so many say "sometimes".This past week on LOGO's new half hour news broadcast they were talking about the rise in new infections among young gay men.Itay Hod asked 4 gay guys, ages 18-22, if they ever had unprotected sex, and all but one raised their hand.One of them went on to say he doesn't really talk about it with his friends and he also isn't affected by what he seemed to think was the propaganda of throwing out statistics to try to scare him into having safe sex.Today I was watching Stephen Fry:HIV & me.It premiered on the Sundance channel, and it's an interesting documentory. I heard the story of a guy who had sex with 200 different guys in a weekend and another of a 19-year-old who went to what I think is called a conversion party where he let 6 positive guys guys fuck him and plug him up, so the semen wouldn't leak out to be sure.I personally used to talk to a guy online who told me he only used condoms sometimes.This was a few years ago and I didn't feel as strongly about the subject as I do now, so I didn't get preachy, but I did ask him more about it.I don't think he told my why, but he did tell me alot of "facts" about HIV that were so wrong that I wasn't sure if he was serious, or not.He was saying things like how much LESS likely gay men are to get it and HIV wasn't as concentrated in semen as vaginal secretions and some other stuff.....things that I knew were wrong. I was thinking to myself "is he serious, or joking?" because I didn't understand how someone could be so ignorent, or misinformed.I kind felt like the safe sex message was everywhere.In fact, I think I've learned most of what I know from TV.He didn't seem to care though.He was just like "yeah, a few guys fucked me earlier this week and I only used a condom once because just....whatever". Maybe we're not hearing that message enough.That guy that was talking to Itay Hod was talking about "scare tactics", but if there were TV spots always running, constantly reminding you of this thing that's out there and anyone can have it and give it to you, would that make a difference, or would it backfire?While I don't the paranoid "scare tactics" thing, I can kind of understand how the posters, billboards, and things we see on TV about HIV/AIDS lose their affect after a while.I myself have become.....I don't want to say desensitized, but it's like getting a new piece of furniture, or something done to your house.At first it's like "wow, that looks nice", but then you get used it, and after a while it's just a part of the scenery.You barely notice it anymore. That's one of the things that was addressed in that news broadcast.Why aren't messages about safe sex working anymore?What would you do differently?What new style would you use to bring it to people's attention?Stephen Fry:HIV & me, the first half anyway, talked more about personal resposibility.Between bug chasers and kids who just don't care, what can you do to combat apathy and what seems like an insane thing to do, getting HIV on purpose?Does anyone remember that end segment with Harvey Firestein on In the life where he stressed the need for personal resposibility?How could you not?LOGO shows the same reruns all the time. He said he met an 18-year-old who wanted 2 things in life:to meet a nice guy and seroconvert, and went on to say "why should I give up my saturday night to help raise money for drugs for some punk who went out and got infected thinking it was cool?", which is a good question.He also said he knew people, both positive and negative, who only had unprotected sex without care, or consience, and "if these people care so little about their own lives, why should I?".Cyd Zielger jr., a guy I already don't like because he's a "gay conservative", also said something along those lines."It's hard for me to get worked up about a disease that's so easy not to get.You have to go out of your way to catch it.".At first I thought "what an asshole", but now, as much as I hate to admit it, he also might have a point. He told Jason Bellini how he too has friends who talk about "how much they just love bareback sex".I don't have any kind of stats, but I also think that bareback porn is now kicking the crap out condom porn in sales and becoming more prevalent.Do you think that we're fighting a losing battle?If so, then why?How do you feel about just saying "fuck it", and letting people do whatever until they end up on expensive drug cocktails, and not caring anymore? I don't think that even schools that teach sex ed, as opposed to that abstinence only bullshit, dig too deep into the matter.In our heterosexist society they still assume all of the kids they're talking to are straight and define sex as vaginal penetration.They don't talk more specifically about gay sex...like I think they should.For example, even gay men who use a condom for anal sex don't use one for oral because it's less risky....and who wants to suck on plastic?Is that ok?How risky is it?I've also heard that flavored condoms taste awful.I feel left out because they don't teach you these things in a sex ed class, but they're things I should probably know.If I don't learn it there then where?How detailed do you think sex ed should be? I remember awhile ago I read about some school board(I forgot where but I think someone on the board had a gay kid)voted to start a new extensive sex ed curriculum where the kids would learn about oral sex and flavored condoms.They were practicing on bananas, or something.Ofcourse the conservatives got outraged over this.People in this country can be like that about sex and their kids.Do you think that's going to far?Some guys think it doesn't matter if you use a condom as long as you're the top.what percentage of men get infected that way?What are your thoughts on all of these things, education, prevention, the best way to break through apathy, ect.?I'm all ears. Submitted by homoguy563 (1304 points) (205 posts) on Sun, 2007-12-02 05:46. |
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Thank you Homoguy563
for posting this forum topic, hopefully it will get as much discussion going as the Top 25 list (although I doubt it). Part of the reason young people do not seem to get as worried about HIV is that they do not see it as a fatal disease. They never went to an AiDS hospice to be with dying friends like I did, or see people in the advanced stages of AIDS that were common sites in big cities in the 80's and early 90's.
Unfortunately they see HIV as the equivalent of diabetes or not even as serious. They do not think through what it does to their life. The cost of drugs, the potential social isolation from people that are freaked out about it (telling someone that you want to date that you are HIV+ is a good way not to get a return phone call), the fatigue from some drugs, the side effects of the virus (inflammation is the most common), the increased risk for other diseases such as non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, etc..
The worse part of the disease is the fear that you will give it to someone else (at least that fear SHOULD be there). I do not know how I would cope if I somehow gave my partner HIV, it is too horrible to contemplate. HIV is unique, you can pass it on through an act of love, unliike cancer, diabetes, or most other major diseases.
How can we increase awareness of the importance of "safer" sex? Are outreach programs enough (like the one I will be joining next year)? They are a start, but you have to have a receptive audience. Part of the problem is a lot of young gay people are still struggling with self-esteem issues. If you have a healthy self-esteem and respect for yourself you will take all precautions to protect yourself. If deep down you think yourself as "sh**" then you may have a devil may care attitude. One of AfterElton's readers Justin Andrews has a healthy self-esteem. I knew he would be receptive to my advice about safer sex techniques, as well as other factors that can influence sexual behaviour (e.g. drug use, depression). Unfortunately not every gay person has parents like Justin.
Finally in closing if there are any gay people out in AfterElton land, no matter what age, who want to talk to me on a personal level about my experiences and advice re. safer sex, send me a private message or send me a message on my Myspace web page. I will be glad to help. After all one of the side effects of my HIV medication Sustiva is a lack of sleep, I am usually conscious 19 hours a day so I have lots of time!
Cheers
JBE
Interesting post
I get depressed by the ignorance and misinformation too, but it also annoys me how selfish people are being. Part of me thinks, "Screw fear, why not make the MORAL argument that infecting someone else is a really, really, REALLY nasty thing to do." I mean, we as a community get so outraged over gay-bashing and other discrimination, on moral terms. So why are we not outraged by selfishness in our own community, when someone carelessly infects someone else, taking advantage of some kid's innocence or ignorance. That's just as bad as a gay-bashing, it seems to me.
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com
Hopefully the next evolution among GLBT
people is how we treat each other. One of the things that sort of depressed me when I first came out was how gays and lesbians treated each other. Gay men put down lesbians, lesbians put down gay men, the bitchiness, the racism, the pretentious consumerism, the lack of self-discipline about practicing safe sex, and the rampant drug taking were just a few of the symptoms of general lack of respect for oneself and others in the community. Finally the trend of gay people trying to catch HIV or trying to pass it on, even though they are a minority, is so bizarre and frightening it defies words. Talking about lack of respect for oneself and others.
I know I sound preaching but if GLBT people really want to get ahead in the world they need to put their own house in order at the same time as demanding respect from the rest of society.
Cheers
JBE
On one hand, I agree...
Because I do hear about this behavior. But among my gay friends? I don't see it. Seriously, the gay guys in my little circle couldn't be better role models. I don't know what that's about, but I know I've made a conscious effort over my life to jettison as many jerks as possible (let just hope my friends don't jettison ME! lol).
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com
I either jettisoned the jerks
or avoided them altogether. I have been out of the "fast-lane" gay life for about 10 years now, so I think things have changed a bit. I know when I was going to bars in the early to mid 90's drug use and backroom sex was on the rise again, back to the 70s!
Cheers
JBE
It's not just gay guys...
There is a complete disregard for using condoms/protected sex amongst my straight friends too. But I can't believe that one 19yo in your post that let positive guys do it to him. OMG...what drugs is he on? It's one thing if you are in a loving relationship with a positive person and you use protection, but my god, that's like playing with a loaded gun. One of my friends at school who is straight was all worried last month because this chick he's been dating (his words,; not mine) was late and might be pregnant. So I asked him if the condom broke or something. And he said, what condom and laughed at me like I just told a good joke. He likes the natural feeling and is willing to 'take his chances' so he doesn't have to interrupt the moment to put on a jimmy. I just shook my head.
I'm quite the prude when it comes to sex and protection. I've never had unprotected sex and I've only had 3 partners. I'm also careful about oral sex. I'm thankful to know both you and JBE and am glad you are my friends.
Justin
You say prude
I say intelligent! Thanks for the compliment. As for your straight friend, well he sounds pretty irresponsible and immature to me, but I guess I am being judgmental!
Cheers
JBE
Anyone who says you are a
Ok, condoms good;barebacking bad, but what about the rest?
People make mistakes and do
People make mistakes and do stupid things, despite knowing better. It's a pretty solid theme in our species' history. As to the myriad complex behaviors we exhibit about our sexuality, I can understand why people make the choices they do. Between how Americans deal with sex, how we deal with sexuality, and then how we deal with homosexuality, is it any wonder people are screwing without protection? Our society is one of repression and avoidance, especially in dealing with anything sexual in nature. Add that to statistics about substance abuse and sexual encounters, sexual self-esteem in a predominantly heterosexual society... I mean how many of these gay kids and men are just horribly warped by growing up in the place they've grown up. We can talk about education until the sun goes down but the fact of the matter is unsafe sexual behavior is really just indicative of larger problems in our society.
And there are lots of people out there who listen. The last massive gay event I went to, a Halloween party in West Hollywood, my friends and I were in charge of bringing the chasers, and the condoms. That bucket of condoms was empty by the end of the night, so I have to hope that at least most of them were used to prevent unsafe sex from happening.
Homoguy563 you are correct
I did not attempt to answer all your questions, it is a pretty big topic. I frankly don't have all the answers, but I do have some opinions (what else is knew). So here goes.
Education
I believe teenagers should be given education on safer sex, and I don't think practising on a banana or even a dildo is a bad idea. It is amazing how ignorant young people are on the proper use of condoms. Furthermore, oral sex is not a totally safe activity without a condom (unless you know the person is HIV-). I should know, that is likely how I contracted the virus. It is not just gay men that have to worry about oral sex, straight women do as well. If parents don't like the hands on practice then maybe the sex ed. course could give out safer sex websites. "The Body" is an excellent one (it deals with HIV its' treatment and its' prevention).
Prevention
Anal Sex
I personally do not think you should ever have anal sex without a condom. I know people on other websites who say they have unprotected anal sex with their partner who they trust. That is very sweet, except I met a guy in San Fran in the 90's who was infected by his supposedly HIV- partner who wanted to have unprotected anal sex. The partner had not been faithful and was positive. Furthermore you can get other infections from unprotected anal sex.
Oral Sex
If you are not in a relationship and are having sex with strangers, then I would recommend having oral sex with a condom. If you really do not like condoms then there are some ways to minimize the risk (remember pre-cum has just as much of the virus as cum). Don't brush your teeth right before sex, you could open up small cuts in your gums that could let the virus in the pre-cum enter. You may want to rinse your mouth out with an antiseptic mouthwash or salt and water to detect cuts in your mouth that you did not know you had. If you have cuts or open sores (e.g. cankers) then I would strongly recommend not having oral sex without a condom. The risk of getting HIV by someone performing oral sex on you is less.
Drugs and Psychological State
One of the areas that people don't think about enough is the use of drugs and ones psychological state. It is well known that people's tendency to have unsafe sex increases with drug use and alcohol. If you use recreational drugs then know your limits and how you react to them. Furthermore, people are more likely to have unsafe sex if they are depressed or lonely and want company. Frankly that was my downfall, in the early 90's I went through a period of wanting to meet someone, when I had no luck I would sleep with a guy just to be touched. Although I practised what I thought was safe sex, my sexual partner numbers went up and I managed to connect with someone who was HIV+.
A final word of advice about prevention. Assume that everyone you sleep with is HIV+. That is the mindset I had when I was single. Just because someone says they are negative take that with a grain of salt. They might have tested negative two months ago, and had gone to the bathhouse 10 times since then and had sex with 20 guys!
Apathy
This is a really tough one to tackle, I honestly do not know how we can turn the tide on gays taking HIV and safer sex as seriously as it was taken in the 80's and early 90's. Going out to bathhouses and bars educating gay men is one way, advertisements in the gay community is another. Even confronting someone that you come across on the internet who practices safe sex only sometimes is another. Perhaps taking young gays to a local AIDS hospice is another avenue (yes people still die from AIDS). You are a smart guy Homoguy563 what do you think would work?
Finally you had a question about statistics regarding what behaviours led to infection. Unfortunately no such statistics exist, since people engage in both unprotected anal & oral sex. Even if they used a condom during anal sex there is no guarantee it did not break.
If you want my opinion on other parts of your forum topic. Please let me know.
Cheers
JBE
I agree with all of this
I also think we need to call people on their bull****. There's a completely understandable reluctance to judge others in the GLBT community, a "live and let live" attitude which I basically agree with.
That said, I don't think it should apply to HIV issues. Bareback porn is just plain evil. In any other instance, if an employer was saying to someone, "I'll pay you money to do this incredibly dangerous thing," we would be up in arms (and it's even worse since the films them encourages others to do it too). But because it's "hot," we all rationalize and say, "Oh, well, they're consenting adults."
We need to find the integrity to stand up and say, "Enough." People who produce this should get the cold shoulder from their friends. It's not romantic, it's not sex-positive, it's not just another "choice" is the buffet of sexual choices.
Likewise, we, as a community, need to go back to the ethic where we encouraged each other to be safe, to have pride and dignity in ourselves. Those who undercut and undermine that pride and dignity need to have their friends call em on it. It's not about moral condemnation so much as just saying, "Look, this is bad. Knock it off. Grow up. And if you don't, I don't want to be around you any more."
Will we be accused of being sex-negative and party-crashers? Absolutely. But safer sex educators were accused, by some, of this back in the 1980s. I know I was, even if all the people who accused me of it are now dead. (Realizing that gives me a chill. Well, that's one way to win an argument, I guess.)
Not everything in life is relative, not everything depends on your point-of-view. If your gay and you have unsafe sex with different people, you'll probably get HIV in just a few years. The highest percentage of people converting a gay people who use meth and have unsafe sex: 25% of them convert per year, which is even higher than prostitutes in sub-Sahara. The rate of conversion ASTOUNDS researchers.
But ANY gay guy who has unsafe sex with multiple partners will most likely get it before too long. Anal sex is just an incredibly efficient way to spread it--much more efficient than vaginal sex.
Your life won't be over, but you're life will get really, really nasty. And that's IF you have health insurance, and assuming you don't ever want to leave your current job.
People need to KNOW this. I agree that people make stupid choices regarding sex, but I honestly believe that most young gay people don't realize how collossally stupid unsafe sex is for their demographic. They think there's a one in a hundred chance they'll get it, when it's more like ninety-nine out of a hundred chance, at least over the course of their lives.
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com
Brent you are right
the safer sex message needs to be reemphasised again and again. I find though that our generation that was in their twenties in the "plague" years (80's and early 90's) are participating less and less in the larger gay community. We are in couples and living the good life with a circle of friends and a set of activities that we enjoy. Most of us are not out educating young gay people on safe sex. Perhaps most young people would not listen to us anyways thinking that we are fear mongerers because of what we saw and went through (dying of AIDS is a pretty horrible death if anyone has any doubts, an ex-roommate of mine was blind at the end and tried to kill himself to end his suffering).
When I went to the AIDS Committee of Toronto's volunteer night I was pleasantly surprised to see a few young people who wanted to volunteer and spread the message of safe sex. I also saw several people from Africa who know first hand what the disease can do. I will try my best to help out next year, but I feel that the message is always best if it comes from a person that people can recognize as a peer. My generation knows the safe sex message off by heart, Generation Y unfortunately does not.
Drug use is a huge problem not just because of safe sex but also because of addictions. Crystal meth is exploding in use across our society straight & gay. I don't know what can be done about it, I never understood the attraction of rec. drugs anyways.
As for bareback sex your comparison to unsafe work conditions is a good one. It is amazing though what happens to men's common sense when sex is involved (women could have told us this centuries ago). I was reading in Wikipedia earlier this year about the different gay porn stars and came across a guy who does bareback videos and is HIV+. His view was HIV did not cause AIDS and he did not have anything to feel guilty about! Unbelievable ignorance. I guess the big drop in AIDS related deaths since the introduction of the drug cocktails is just a fluke.
Finally I would like to close with a summary of what happens when you become HIV+ in case you think it is no big deal. If you go on the drug cocktail your expenses go way up because of the drug costs. If you have drug coverage great, if not you are in trouble. Your mood and energy level will change. Depression is much higher in HIV+ then HIV- people, furthermore most HIV+ people suffer a drop in sex drive. Your risk of heart disease goes up because many of the drugs cause cholesterol production to increase (thus more drugs to take), furthermore HIV causes inflammation of the lining of the heart (I had an ex-roommate die at 32 of a heart attack from HIV). You will feel socially isolated feeling like you are the only one with this problem, especially if you are single. There are groups you can participate in that well help combat this, but you will need to live in or near a big city. Many of the drugs have some nasty side effects. I was lucky because my body has never been prone to bad reactions to drugs. The protease inhibitors though did cause a lot of my body hair to fall out so I switched off them (hairless legs)! The drug cocktails require you to be very self-disciplined, you cannot be lackadaisical about taking them everyday for the rest of your life. Their are some countries that will not let you settle there if you are HIV+ (USA being one) so it can prevent mobility and deny you life opportunities. You may find it difficult to find someone to settle down with, not every HIV+ person advertises the fact, and many HIV- people do not want to go out with a HIV+ person. You will have to make sure you have as healthy a life style as possible to increase your life expectancy. Decrease the alcohol consumption, cut out smoking (should do this anyways), eat better, exercise more.
For those young people that are interested more in HIV I would recommend "The Body" and the Advocate's link to the magazine "HIVplusMag". The Body has letters from HIV sufferers which gives an indication of what issues they face on a daily basis.
Cheers
JBE
On your advice before oral sex
My ex is a dentist and he has been very adamant to tell our friends that using an antiseptic before oral sex is a no-no, for two reasons: it kills the natural bacteria in your mouth (which is a natural level of defense) and that the antiseptic quality of the mouthwash dehydrates the tissues around the mouth and makes it more vulnerable during the act to possible tears or cuts. One of the reasons they advice not to brush is so you have as much bacterial flora as possible. And that should be at least 6 hours before sex.
Another thing to consider, which many people dont regarding this issue, is day to day oral hygine. If you dont have it, chance are your gums and tissues suffer from inflamation. And no matter who much you prepare for the act, your gums will still be inflamated and VERY VULNERABLE. If gums bleed during normal brushing, there is no oral hygine so one is vulnerable.
Good oral hygine is probably the best line of defense if anyone is going to engage in unprotected oral intercourse. But that is a constant thing, not just before sex.
Thanks for the correction
maybe dentists should feed into the safer sex dialogue. The advice I have read about brushing is one hour not six. Also the antiseptic advice makes sense so guys stick to salt and water is cheaper anyways!
Funny I always have had good oral hygiene so I do not think that was my issue, I probably had a cut I did not know about, perhaps in the throat. Does not matter now to me the deed is done.
Cheers
JBE
I think it's a combination...
between "I don't care, it can't happen to me." and the Jackass movie mentallity. Doing absolutely stupid, life threatening stuff just for the thrill without taking into consideration the risks and consequences. That combined with increased drug and alcohol use. I'm not legal to go out and drink at a bar yet, but I have a friend that purposely limits himself to two beers so that he doesn't get drunk and something stupid. (Yes I have smart friends too.)
Like JBE said, I don't have the answer, and I don't think there is only one 'smoking gun'. All of the things mentioned in this thread are causes to the problem. But like Brent brought up, we need to risk being labled judgmental and throw a flag on the play when we see or hear of gays acting irresponsibly when it comes to safer sex and HIV.
Justin
Be Smart
Scientist have found a way to neutralize HIV.
I think kids should be tought about sex years before they have it. As Oprah says "When you know better, you do better." Some people act stupid because they don't know any better.
You have to be your greatest advocate and protector.
Thanks for the link Evan
after reading it I believe I am one of the patients they are talking about. My viral load has been undetectable for so long I cannot remember now (10 years?). Also my CD-4 cell count has reached as high as 1,000, when I first got sick in 1995 it bottomed out at 168. So the combination anti-retroviral treatment has been a blessing for me.
Cheers
JBE
Life should be as one chooses to live it
PC Sensibilities
Following that line of thinking...
We could save money on road signs, drivers ed, advertisements for drugs to improve our quality of life. That way a drive in the mountains would be good, until it sucked.
Why wouldn't you want to live as long as you could and make your life as viable as possible?
Justin
Thank you
for a humanistic response. My Uncle at the age of 80 goes to Ecuador every year to practice medicine at an Anglican church medical mission. He is still active physically, mentally and spiritually. The modern world's belief that life is really only worth living up to a certain age drives me crazy at times. To me every stage of life has its' positive aspects, sometimes though you have to make a greater effort to find them. Oh yeah, there is that dirty word "effort".
Cheers
JBE
Thanks Homoguy563 - and JBE too!
Homoguy563, I know that I am joining this conversation a little late. I actually only found this site last night, and so far I am very impressed with the serious discussions of the issues facing us as a gay community. This type of serious discussion is almost impossible to find on any other gay sites.
I haven't had the opportunity to see the Stephen Fry documentary (will definitely try to catch it sometime). I too am amazed that there are actually people that would knowingly risk infection in the way that is described about the boy being penetrated by several infected guys. But isn't it just as odd that there are those that bareback with people they don't really know, not knowing if they are infected or not. It all sounds like a game of Russian Roulette to me.
Believe me, I am no saint, and as JBE says, I don't want to be preachy. Many homosexual guys that I have talked to find it hard to believe that I do not enjoy anal sex - top or bottom. I only tried it once, as a bottom, back in '79. It was such an unpleasant experience - although with a guy that I cared dearly about. Since then, it's just not been something I do. I, and my partners, have had some wonderfully fulfilling sexual experiences. For me, the pleasure is in enjoying every part of my partner's body. And yes, I do practice oral. I hope that my information is correct - but then again, there are so many different theories out there - but my understanding is that is little or no risk of infection through oral sex. I have never tried oral with a condom, but it just doesn't sound that great.
I wonder if part of the ignorance or indifference isn't because most of us - including myself - have never known a positive person (or at least did not know it if they were). And I know that might sound like I have lived a sheltered life, but that is far from the truth. Although I am not an "out" gay, I have been a part of the gay scene for more than 15 years - mainly in Monterrey, Mexico for 9 years and in Detroit for 4 years. I am currently living in Alabama, so there is not much of a "scene" here.
I guess my point is that maybe we need to see more documentaries like the Stephen Fry film that show the real truth about HIV and AIDS. Maybe this should become parrt of the sex-ed curriculum - not only showing the gay side of it, but all sides including the heteros.
Anyway, again, it is so refreshing to find a source for this kind of discussion. I am especially impressed by you and JBE. Thanks guys!
Low risk
for oral but unfortunately I don't think it is very low risk. I would read articles on safer oral sex on the website "The Body" or the one I use is the AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT). I very likely contracted HIV through unprotected oral sex. The basic rule of thumb you need to remember with oral sex is that if you are giving it and your partner is unprotected then you must make sure you do not have cuts in your mouth (including throat) and gums. Pre-cum has just as high a concentration of the virus as cum that is the problem.
Thank you for your compliments, and have a happy and safe holiday season.
Cheers
JBE
I will check it out
Thanks JBE, I will certainly continue to research the subject. I appreciate your perspective on the subject. In no way do I consider myself an expert on the subject.
I can say that I have always lived by one rule. And that rule is: If I don't take care of myself, why can I expect anyone else to.
Best wishes to you for the holidays too!!