ANTM: Kangaroo Chaos

Same great recaps, new location! This week's episode of America's Next Top Model was all about how weird and different Jael is — as if we hadn't figured that out already. The editors really don't have to go out of their way to highlight Jael's kookiness. Just look at her outfit as she announces that a new Tyra Mail has arrived.

The Tyra Mail says, "Trust me. Talking to people every day isn't as easy as it looks. -- love Tyra." Well, who else are you going to talk to? For the love of God, people, hire writers for the next cycle!

The next day, April from Cycle 2 shows up at the Model Mansion. She's there to talk to the girls about the importance of being a spokesperson for today's models. She herself has been the host of what looks to be a local cable show. It's good to know you can get work after ANTM.

After some instruction and a little example of what not to do when being interviewed, she has the girls grill each other in a series of mock interviews. Renee and Natasha kind of suck up the place, but Dionne and Jael really go after each other. It's more like Hardball than The Tyra Banks Show.

Later that night, we get a scene that at first makes me think my TV has somehow switched itself to one of those awful late night pay-per-view shows on Cinemax or Playboy. Jael, Renee, Natasha and Brittany are splashing around in the pool and Jael is topless. There's so much pixilation for so little. It's a completely gratuitous scene, since the only thing that comes from it is a voiced over interview from Renee saying that she and Jael had problems at first but now she just lets Jael be Jael.

The following day, the girls once again meet with April. She tells them they will be taking their newly learned interview skills to the street. Just then, in bursts some raving lunatic in a raggedy-ass kangaroo costume. Run for your lives, girls! Oh, wait. It's just Tyra. Run for your lives, girls!

As Tyra removes the kangaroo head, her wig tries to come off with it. It's really funny. While she tries to keep her hair on her head, she announces that the girls are going to Australia — and all hell breaks loose. The girls are screaming, the ghost of Steve Irwin charges in with a real kangaroo, Tyra is still fighting her recalcitrant wig. It's a classic ANTM moment.

Things calm down a little after Tyra manages to get her wig back on... sort of. She tells them that the winner of this challenge will get to be a correspondent on her talk show "more than once." So, twice then? Woohoo! She then mentions that they will be doing the challenge in Australia and Natasha suddenly starts screaming like a banshee.

She just caught on to where they're going. She either didn't hear before or didn't understand. It's hilarious. As Tyra says, talk about a delayed reaction. That whole scene was just surreal.

There are scenes of packing, including a totally random shot of Jael finding a stray tampon. She throws it at Brittany. I really hope it wasn't used. Ewwwww! I just grossed myself out.

The girls fly off to the land Down Under, accompanied by the traditional cheesy graphic of an airplane with the girls' heads in the window. It just wouldn't be a cycle of ANTM without it.

They arrive in Oz where they are met by a striking woman named Erika Heynatz. She was the first host of Australia's Next Top Model. She spits some rapid-fire Aussie slang at the girls, thoroughly confusing them in the process. Of course, it doesn't take much. I think she short circuits Jaslene's nutrient starved brain.

She explains again, in English this time, that they will be doing on-the-street interviews incorporating as much Aussie slang as possible. The subject of the interviews will be American fashion faux pas. We learn that Brittany has problems with short-term memory loss due to a car accident when she was 17. I have a friend who was hit by a car when she was around 20, and now, four years later, she still has memory problems as well. It's serious stuff.

The girls do their interviews with varying degrees of success. There's a running slang-o-meter at the bottom of the screen letting us know how many slang terms they manage to work into the conversation. Renee gets the best location, interviewing shirtless men on the beach.

Dionne does so badly, she never registers a single point on the slang-o-meter, but she does rack up an impressive score of 8 on the "that's cool" meter. Natasha does surprisingly well. Jael just looks weird, as per the theme of the episode.

After they finish, Erika informs them that they won't find out the challenge winner until panel. She sends them off to their new apartment, which is very nice and has lots of pictures of the previous cycle's winner, Caridee.

The next day, they head off to their photo shoot. But wait! There is no photo shoot this week. Instead, they will be filming a CoverGirl commercial. The ridiculous twist? They have to speak their lines in an Australian accent.

Natasha is worried because, well, she barely speaks English to begin with, and what she does manage has a thick, Russian accent. Brittany is worried due to her short-term memory loss. Jaslene is worried about her Spanish accent, and Dionne should be worried about her Southern Ghetto Princess accent.

The girls take turns filming, once again with wildly varying results. Renee does fairly well, but I think she seems a little over the top. I predict Twiggy will love her anyway.

Dionne really struggles with the lines, but looks stunning.

Jael really does a horrible job. I mean wow. She has to do 20-some takes. She even breaks down and cries. Afterwards, she runs off and climbs a tree. Yeah, I don't know either.

Jaslene has some trouble at first, then nails the script on her sixth take... without any cue cards. That's pretty impressive, even if she doesn't sound the slightest bit Australian. Crazy, maybe. But not Australian.

Brittany belly flops with impressive suckitude. I think she mostly psyched herself out. Even when they provided her with the cue cards, she still couldn't get through a line without crying. Once you get that upset and thrown off, it's hard to recover.

Natasha looks gorgeous and does a surprisingly good job. She seems to have the script down pretty well, but she does struggle a little with her body language. Still, over all, I think she did the best. Let's see what the judges say.

Panel! Oh my God, y'all! Tyra looks amazing. For the first time this entire cycle. See for yourself:

Tyra does her usual spiel. The guest judge this week is Erika. Oh, and Miss J's ruff continues to grow with each girl that gets sent home.

Tyra informs us that Next Top Model is now airs in 120 countries. That's a whole lot of overdramatic photo panels. Anyway, there are obviously no photos this week. The girls are being judged on their commercial performances.

Natasha is up first. The judges are shocked at how well Natasha did. You can barely hear her Russian accent, she looks great, and she used a lot of inflection.

Dionne wasn't that great. It was kind of flat and her accent was atrocious. She sounds more West Indies than Australian.

Jaslene looks concerned, or maybe constipated, through her whole commercial. She's going to have some bad frown lines when she gets older. She was thinking so hard trying to remember her lines you can almost see the smoke coming out her ear...

Renee did a tribute to Steve Irwin, accent, body language, and all. The judges are not pleased.

Jael was bloody awful. It's almost painful to watch her film. She had trouble pulling off the happy, bubbly feel she was going for. Tyra tells her she should have just brought herself to the role instead of trying to be something she's not. Also, she really needs to work on her facial expressions when she talks.

Brittany is last, but thanks to Jael, not quite least. She's still pretty darn bad though. She looks good, but you can tell she's upset. She makes the memory excuse again, and even tries the whole crying thing (which usually Tyra loves), but she doesn't get much sympathy from the judges. She needs to find a way to compensate for her memory loss.

Deliberation! Dionne did not impress, but Tyra thinks she will get it eventually. Twiggy loves Renee. Told ya. Nobody likes Jael except for Erika, and we all know the guest judge's opinion doesn't count. Brittany needs to conquer her shortcomings. They thought Natasha was great. Tyra says she rocked the commercial. Jaslene was overwhelming to poor Erika, who was unaware of Jaslene's drag upbringing.

Elimination! Tyra calls Natasha first, and tells her she also won the interview challenge. That means Natasha will get to be a correspondent for The Tyra Banks Show more than once! Once that earth-shattering news has been delivered, Tyra calls Renee, Jaslene, and Dionne.

That leaves Jael and Brittany.

We all know Jael is going home. We've known that for an hour now. The editors have completely forgotten the art of subtlety — assuming they even know what that word means. Anyway, Brittany takes strong pictures but needs to be able to deliver a commercial too. Jael also takes beautiful pictures, but the way she presents herself on film is "ghastly." Is Simon Cowell writing for this show now or does Tyra just watch American Idol too much?

As predicted, Jael is going home.

Back at the apartment, she dons a blue wig and packs her stuff. She really is an oddball. Good luck, Jael.

Natasha was CoverGirl of the Week.

I missed the previews for next week again. Anyone know what happens?

So what did you think? Did they send the right girl back to the US? What did you think of the commercial? And were they right to come down so hard on Brittany?