It was a crushing blow to find out that while I was researching an important article on gay male sex on television and getting my nails done, the gays got over political activism.

First I had to get over my shock at there being a trend among my people that I wasn't already at least aware of, if not on the forefront of. Remembering the early days of ACT-UP, and actually having been at the White Night riots (and if you don't know what those are, seriously, you need to take queer history 101 immediately) - in fact, being one of the few les/gay people who remembers when San Francisco Pride was actually called the Gay Freedom Day Parade - I suppose it's no surprise this news doesn't make me happy.

What makes it even worse is that we're not replacing an interest in politics with an interest in, say, sex. No, we've replaced activism with something called "lifestyle." I thought that was rightwing code for homosexuality, but it also apparently refers to a love of shopping, home decorating, and travel.

Now, no one loves to shop more than me. Especially for shoes. And when I'm not out buying shoes, I'm decorating my house. References to HGTV on AfterElton.com have increased by 100 percent since I started writing for the site. And as for travel, this year alone I've already been to Los Angeles to interview Xena and Gabrielle, Austin to interview Alan Cumming, Karen Black, Stephen Kijak, and Gale Harold, and New York to buy shoes take in some theater. I am all about the lifestyle thing.

But I wasn't prepared for this, from McClatchy Newspapers:

Back in the day, gay and lesbian publications were all about the activism. The Stonewall riots. Workplace discrimination. AIDS funding.

All the serious, important stuff.

Now, these niche newspapers and magazines seem more about the "active lifestyle," as the media cliche goes. Home improvement. Fashion. Celebrity culture. All the fun, frivolous stuff.

Such a transformation is not merely a measure of the acceptance that gays and lesbians have achieved in society. It also shows that gay media are not immune to the trends that have recently dominated mainstream publications - in other words: flash over substance, influenced by (what else?) the Internet.

One difference: Gay and lesbian media are seeing greater success under this new rubric, while some mainstream periodicals struggle to stave off irrelevancy and insolvency in the digital age.

I am totally freaked out by this. I don't know what to wear to stave off irrelevancy and insolvency in the digital age! And I work for gay media on the internet! Flash over substance is like my middle name!

Why have the gays abandoned substance for flash?

It's all about economics, says Bob Witeck, CEO of Witeck-Combs Communications, a gay and lesbian marketing firm. An estimated 15.3 million gay men and lesbians spent more than $660 billion in 2006, according to a report released by Witeck, and the firm expects the buying power to increase to $835 billion by 2011.

And perhaps, it's also about giving readers what they want.

Which means not the strident political activism of years past. Sure, gay marriage remains a galvanizing issue, but Witeck says younger gays and lesbians are "post-label," meaning that their sexual orientation does not completely define them.

"They strive for true inclusion," Witeck says, "and are looking for content that gives them wider latitude about personal independence and sexual expression while still giving them a unique place to find community, personal connections and entertainment."

That last paragraph was so thick in the dialect of PR-speak I couldn't quite follow it, but fortunately, Debbie Wells, one of the founders of Jane and Jane magazine, put it in simpler terms:

"We're still very supportive of gay and lesbian causes," Wells says, "but we have to do it in a way that fits with our (magazine's) mission.

"So you might see a (travel) story on gay-friendly Reno or a piece on preparing for lesbian weddings. That's how we address the issues."

It's a shame that we didn't know that back when we were disrupting the FDA to get new AIDS drugs approved, because, although I prefer Paris, traveling to gay-friendly Reno is much more fun than holding up signs with the names of dead friends on them while government bureaucrats scuttle by, not meeting your eye. I'm just saying.

Still, I'm begging you, gay media and people alike, on the Internets and elsewhere: Give me back my activism! I need it like I need food and water and Sally Hansen's Ten-Day Guaranteed Not to Chip nail polish! Because without it, I don't get my gay weddings and gay-friendly travel destinations.

Or even my lesbian lifestyle magazines.