You can see the rest of the pages here. This guy is so warped with is believes of what made him gay and how he's now straight that he's actually dangerous. Sad.
Brainwash them while they are young before they get old enough to think for themselves. Then they can grow into confused, self-hating adults who live a lie because this is what they are taught. They grow up, get married and have kids because its expected, then realize later they are just fooling themselves so they either become "discrete" behind their wife's back or the family is plunged into turmoil when dad (or mom) realizes they can no longer live a lie. If you want the truth about reparative (ex-gay) therapy, check out Wayne Besen's site TruthWinsOut.org.
If you look at the whole book at the link you see that the boy is lonely and isolated at home. This makes him a vulnerable mark to uncle Pete he's then molested and finally as a teenager taunted by peers who use gay epithets. Is it especially those last two factors which lead him to think he must be gay.
It is not at all uncommon for boys and young men who suffer sexual abuse at the hand of the same gender to question their sexuality.
In the story the counselor disabuses him of this notion he's formed that he must be gay because of the sexual abuse. The counselor then goes on to help repair the marriage, the father-son relationship and deal with the abusive uncle.
I think rather than taking the story on its own terms you are coloring it with a reaction to the author or with other prejudices and sensitivities you have about the meaning and origins of sexual identity and orientation.
I have looked at the whole story and I am very familiar with the author. The whole story is saying that the cause of being gay is that 1) you have a emotionaly distant father 2) A mother who burdens you with issues about men 3) A touchy relative of the same sex. In the story the boy is confused by his "uncle's" actions and his father's lack of love...he's looking for male love and confusing that with being gay. There is no such thing as gay, just sexual identity confusion. Get real.
This book is handed to GLBT youth who are sent to Exodus and told it is the answer to why they are gay.
The story follows this logic YouTube. This book is funded and distributed by ex-gay/reparative therapy organizations, Richard Cohen authored it.
The premise of Alfie's House (the "children's book" in question) is that homosexuality does not exist as an orientation but is simply a reaction to a lack of "father love". Cohen's notion is that "strong motivation, proper support, effective counsel, and the love of God" can change a person's orientation from homosexual to heterosexual.
But you already know that, duckiestoy, don't you. Only those who favor reorientation talk about the "origins of sexual identity".
The truth is, duckiestoy, that this book in inappropriate for any age - regardless of what you think about the story. The language and style of this picture book are too immature for an adolescent and the content is too adult for a child. I don't know a single soul who would remotely consider reading this to one of their own children.
But you aren't interested in that, are you? You want to promote the idea that there are countless kids out there "questioning their sexuality" that simply need a counselor to "disabuse them of that notion". But, as the readers here know, that is not the case.
Sexual orientation is determined at a very early age. But it is not - EVER - caused by feeling lonely or being teased. And while I do not want to disrespect those who have been abused, counseling isn't going to change their sexual orientation.
Gay people don't "think they must be gay". They know that the direction of their affection, romance, and desire are towards the same sex. It isn't a mystery to them.
Further, there are no credible studies that indicate that anyone can change their sexual orientation (Spitzer's phone survey notwithstanding). And those who make claims of this sort, oddly seem to find it to be a "constant struggle" decades after they report this "change". The fact is, that for the vast majority of gay persons (if any at all) reorientation simply doesn't work.
And considering that Cohen's methodologies include beating a pillow with a tennis racquet and cuddling adult men in his lap, he's hardly a resourse that anyone would consider credible. Further, it's difficult to take advice from someone who's past includes a nudist communal cult on an island in Oregon and a Moonie mass wedding. In fact, nearly all of the ex-gay movement (not a terribly credible group themselves) have dumped Cohen entirely and will have nothing to do with him.
I have yet to meet anyone who has claimed they weren't born with their orientation. It also seems that others saw the same big picture as I. Furthermore, I would suggest that your post is the nail in the coffin validating my original statement. Regardless of whether sexual abuse is a factor in determining one's orientation, and I am not prepared to argue that point as I don't have readily available statistics (and you negelected to provide any of your own), it still doesn't explain the fact that not all gay males are victims of abuse. That being said, that would imply other causes for homosexuality and that the book made no determination whether or not this was the actual cause. It makes an assumption that just because the child was abused by a male relative (among other equally unsubtantiated suggestions), this must be the cause of his orientation and it can be changed. One must wonder what would cause one to spout such rhetoric based on an unproven assumption, and claim it as fact. Pardon me while I contact an expert and see if he would care to weigh in on the subject.
Until I read the other posts, I had no idea who the author might be. As far as the "meaning and origins of sexual identity and orientation" from my perspective it is a trait you are born with. Kinda hard to be prejudice about that.
I have always found it bizarre that people who have no training, education or expertise in the field all of sudden become know-it-alls when it comes to human psychology. Despite the assertions of the American Psychological Association which states that homosexuality is an innate trait that it is not a disease that can be cured, the ex-gay movement thinks that gays are treatable. When will they learn that sexual orientation has its' basis in a much more primitive part of the brain (it is seen in many species not just homo sapiens), unlike religion which is definitely in the cerebral cortex. Some gay men do have distant fathers (me for one) and others tragically were molested by an older relative. That did not make them gay but did influence there relationships with people (including gay people) as adults. I started having crushes on male TV characters as early as 5 or 6 so I have no doubt I arrived in the world "pre-wired" to like guys physically and emotionally.
I am with Celtic Tiger on this one, this book and the whole ex-gay movement are very dangerous and will likely result in a lot of unnecessary human misery, something which the world right now could do without. It gives further support to the old adage "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Another post with excellent points. Maybe they should just ask their victims to stick their heads in the sand so they wont be eaten by sea monsters at the edge of the earth.
"It's your will against mine and you will lose." Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge
I had a wonderful home and a loving Mom and Dad. I didn't 'become' gay because of abuse, i was born that way. I have never been attracted to girls and to force me to become straight would be like forcing me to become a woman. Hmm..maybe that wasn't a good illustration. :)
Here you have an intelligent young man with strong family bonds from a stable and nurturing home, and yet he is still gay (cheers). When you set out to construct a chain of events from cause to effect, you must begin with the first cause. There is significant evidence that orientation is a product of biology, and until this first cause (biology,which would of occured long before Uncle Pete and a dysfunctional family life came along) is properly discounted, it is pointless to speculate about any optional causes. Thank you, Justin for helping to disprove a dangerous and totally unfounded assumption that sexual orientation is something to be "cured".
"It's your will against mine and you will lose." Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge
It was a bad illustration, and what a waste for guys who like guys (besides you would make a butt-ugly woman, but don't take offense to that)! If the ex-gay movement kidnaps you Justin and tries to make you straight I will personally consider that a declaration of war against all gays and act accordingly!
That this book is being banned left and right. Please. Tell me this isn't making it's way into school libraries or anything like that. I don't think I could handle it. Especially considering all of the positive gay-themed children's books are constantly being attacked.
If this one goes under the radar I'm going to organize an old fashioned book burning. :( This is the last thing kids need to be reading.
Not Surprising
Beware Overreacting
If you look at the whole book at the link you see that the boy is lonely and isolated at home. This makes him a vulnerable mark to uncle Pete he's then molested and finally as a teenager taunted by peers who use gay epithets. Is it especially those last two factors which lead him to think he must be gay.
It is not at all uncommon for boys and young men who suffer sexual abuse at the hand of the same gender to question their sexuality.
In the story the counselor disabuses him of this notion he's formed that he must be gay because of the sexual abuse. The counselor then goes on to help repair the marriage, the father-son relationship and deal with the abusive uncle.
I think rather than taking the story on its own terms you are coloring it with a reaction to the author or with other prejudices and sensitivities you have about the meaning and origins of sexual identity and orientation.
Excuse me while I overreact, big time!
I have looked at the whole story and I am very familiar with the author. The whole story is saying that the cause of being gay is that 1) you have a emotionaly distant father 2) A mother who burdens you with issues about men 3) A touchy relative of the same sex. In the story the boy is confused by his "uncle's" actions and his father's lack of love...he's looking for male love and confusing that with being gay. There is no such thing as gay, just sexual identity confusion. Get real.
This book is handed to GLBT youth who are sent to Exodus and told it is the answer to why they are gay.
The story follows this logic YouTube. This book is funded and distributed by ex-gay/reparative therapy organizations, Richard Cohen authored it.
Yeah, Right
The premise of Alfie's House (the "children's book" in question) is that homosexuality does not exist as an orientation but is simply a reaction to a lack of "father love". Cohen's notion is that "strong motivation, proper support, effective counsel, and the love of God" can change a person's orientation from homosexual to heterosexual.
But you already know that, duckiestoy, don't you. Only those who favor reorientation talk about the "origins of sexual identity".
The truth is, duckiestoy, that this book in inappropriate for any age - regardless of what you think about the story. The language and style of this picture book are too immature for an adolescent and the content is too adult for a child. I don't know a single soul who would remotely consider reading this to one of their own children.
But you aren't interested in that, are you? You want to promote the idea that there are countless kids out there "questioning their sexuality" that simply need a counselor to "disabuse them of that notion". But, as the readers here know, that is not the case.
Sexual orientation is determined at a very early age. But it is not - EVER - caused by feeling lonely or being teased. And while I do not want to disrespect those who have been abused, counseling isn't going to change their sexual orientation.
Gay people don't "think they must be gay". They know that the direction of their affection, romance, and desire are towards the same sex. It isn't a mystery to them.
Further, there are no credible studies that indicate that anyone can change their sexual orientation (Spitzer's phone survey notwithstanding). And those who make claims of this sort, oddly seem to find it to be a "constant struggle" decades after they report this "change". The fact is, that for the vast majority of gay persons (if any at all) reorientation simply doesn't work.
And considering that Cohen's methodologies include beating a pillow with a tennis racquet and cuddling adult men in his lap, he's hardly a resourse that anyone would consider credible. Further, it's difficult to take advice from someone who's past includes a nudist communal cult on an island in Oregon and a Moonie mass wedding. In fact, nearly all of the ex-gay movement (not a terribly credible group themselves) have dumped Cohen entirely and will have nothing to do with him.
Well Done
No question
PS
Need a remove option
Irrationality is Alive and Well
I have always found it bizarre that people who have no training, education or expertise in the field all of sudden become know-it-alls when it comes to human psychology. Despite the assertions of the American Psychological Association which states that homosexuality is an innate trait that it is not a disease that can be cured, the ex-gay movement thinks that gays are treatable. When will they learn that sexual orientation has its' basis in a much more primitive part of the brain (it is seen in many species not just homo sapiens), unlike religion which is definitely in the cerebral cortex. Some gay men do have distant fathers (me for one) and others tragically were molested by an older relative. That did not make them gay but did influence there relationships with people (including gay people) as adults. I started having crushes on male TV characters as early as 5 or 6 so I have no doubt I arrived in the world "pre-wired" to like guys physically and emotionally.
I am with Celtic Tiger on this one, this book and the whole ex-gay movement are very dangerous and will likely result in a lot of unnecessary human misery, something which the world right now could do without. It gives further support to the old adage "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Cheers
JBE
The Ostrich/ Flat Earth Theory
Another post with excellent points. Maybe they should just ask their victims to stick their heads in the sand so they wont be eaten by sea monsters at the edge of the earth.
"It's your will against mine and you will lose." Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge
I agree with JBE and Celtic Tiger
I had a wonderful home and a loving Mom and Dad. I didn't 'become' gay because of abuse, i was born that way. I have never been attracted to girls and to force me to become straight would be like forcing me to become a woman. Hmm..maybe that wasn't a good illustration. :)
Justin
Perfect Example
Here you have an intelligent young man with strong family bonds from a stable and nurturing home, and yet he is still gay (cheers). When you set out to construct a chain of events from cause to effect, you must begin with the first cause. There is significant evidence that orientation is a product of biology, and until this first cause (biology,which would of occured long before Uncle Pete and a dysfunctional family life came along) is properly discounted, it is pointless to speculate about any optional causes. Thank you, Justin for helping to disprove a dangerous and totally unfounded assumption that sexual orientation is something to be "cured".
"It's your will against mine and you will lose." Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge
You Are Right
It was a bad illustration, and what a waste for guys who like guys (besides you would make a butt-ugly woman, but don't take offense to that)! If the ex-gay movement kidnaps you Justin and tries to make you straight I will personally consider that a declaration of war against all gays and act accordingly!
Cheers
JBE
Ha Ha..
I would be a butt ugly woman! Just as long as I don't have an ugly butt!
Please tell me..
That this book is being banned left and right. Please. Tell me this isn't making it's way into school libraries or anything like that. I don't think I could handle it. Especially considering all of the positive gay-themed children's books are constantly being attacked.
If this one goes under the radar I'm going to organize an old fashioned book burning. :( This is the last thing kids need to be reading.
Disgusting
I ran across this book while trying to choose a new postive Children's Story. This is definately not it.
What I ended up buying was The Prince and Him by Kendal Nite.
The book is so beautiful, I had to buy 2, one for me and one for my child. He truly writes a child's story that makes everything seem normal.