Hollywood Should Resolve To Treat Their Gays Better In the New Year

Time to push the reset button.

It’s that time of year again. Where we make promises to ourselves and our loved ones that we really would like to keep, but know are never going to happen. Yes, it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions.

My personal resolution is to try and leave the house more than once a week.  If I can get the AfterElton.com invisible fence collar off. Shh. Don’t tell the boss.

But for Hollywood, well, those folks could resolve to do a little better, now couldn’t they? And I’m not talking about Lindsay Lohan. The networks, the shows, and yes, even the characters could learn to engage the gay viewer just a touch more.

So what follows is a slightly serious, slightly tongue-in-cheek list of resolutions for the various folks in Hollywood. Feel free to add your own at the end.

CBS resolves to not pixelate gay jigglies. Further, it resolves to add a gay character to any primetime scripted show.

NBC resolves to not become the Talk & Reality Channel.

TheCW resolves to acknowledge that gay men are not fashion accessories for women to carry around like a new Birkin.

ABC resolves to acknowledge that Adam Lambert does not require a two-day tape delay for a performance.

MTV resolves to play an hour of music a day, or change their name to something less deceitful (keep sending those checks!).

ABCFamily resolves that gay characters are not born with psychology degrees, and further resolves to let them live their lives instead of telling the straight people how to live theirs all the time.